Aita for calling my coworker creepy and gross and getting him in trouble?

The office buzzed with the hum of servers, but for one 23-year-old woman—let’s call her Mia—the air grew heavy with discomfort. As the only woman in a department of 30, she faced a 50-something coworker’s relentless, sleazy comments about his conquests and veiled come-ons. Mia tried to brush it off, then firmly rebuffed him, but his crude persistence pushed her to the edge. In a moment of exasperation, she snapped, calling him “creepy and gross”—words that echoed straight to management’s ears.

What followed wasn’t just a write-up; it was a workplace earthquake. Her coworker’s firing split the department, with half vilifying Mia as a troublemaker and the other half cheering her stand. This isn’t just about one bad apple—it’s a raw tale of courage, backlash, and the fight for respect in a male-dominated space, where speaking up comes with a cost.

‘Aita for calling my coworker creepy and gross and getting him in trouble?’

So Im 23f and I started this job a few months ago. Im the only woman in our department of about 30 people. This one guy 50s male has been telling me about all the younger women he's slept with and making insinuations towards me. He kept telling me how he pleasures women.

I tried to be nice and ignore it, I tried saying I wasn't interested and he just kept going. Finally I lost my patience and snapped at him. I told him he was creepy and gross and that I was never going to be interested in some old man 30 years my senior. Management overheard and pulled me aside to find out what happened.

I told them about his comments to me and he was written up for s**ual harassment. This is his second write up (the first was for injuring someone.) he's been at this job a lot longer then me and now half the department is angry with me because he is about to be fired and they think its my fault and the other half are on my side.

They said I 'didn't have to be such a b**ch about it' and that 'he's like that with girls he finds attractive and I should be flattered' and 'I shouldn't have yelled at him because now management is involved' Work is really uncomfortable now because half of our department doesnt want to work with me.. ETA They're also pissed that all of us have to go to sensitivity training now.

Thank you for all the support . I am going to keep in mind what everyone is saying and I wont tolerate being bullied. Just as a clarification Mr Creeps first write up was for injuring someone. He was pushing a large server enclosure too fast and not watching where he was going and ran over someone injuring them.

UPDATE: So people know the time frame here. This happened Monday. The case went up to legal. I had a meeting with the department head about this and told him about the retaliation. He addressed the Department. Mr Creep was told not to return monday. Legal and HR came back with the decision to fire him.

Workplace harassment can turn a job into a minefield, and Mia’s clash with her creepy coworker lays bare the cost of speaking out. His relentless comments—boasting about past conquests and insinuating interest—crossed clear ethical lines. Workplace psychologist Dr. Amy Cooper Hakim notes, “Unwelcome sexual comments create a hostile environment, and employees have a right to shut them down.” Mia’s attempt to ignore, then deflect, the behavior shows restraint, but his persistence justified her sharp response.

The real issue is the workplace culture enabling such behavior. The coworker’s firing, following a prior write-up for recklessness, wasn’t Mia’s doing—his actions were. Yet, the department’s split reaction, with half blaming her, reflects a troubling acceptance of harassment as “flattering.” Hakim stresses that “bystander silence perpetuates toxic workplaces.” The coworkers’ backlash and mandated sensitivity training signal a deeper need for cultural change.

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This reflects a broader issue: 40% of women report workplace harassment, yet fear of retaliation often silences them. Mia’s public outburst, though unplanned, forced accountability, but the hostility she now faces underscores the risk of speaking up. Hakim advises documenting incidents and reporting retaliation to HR to protect oneself. Mia could lean on supportive colleagues and request mediation to ease tensions.

Her courage was right, but navigating the fallout requires strategy. A calm discussion with HR about the retaliation could reinforce her stance without escalating drama.

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These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit erupted with support and outrage over Mia’s ordeal, serving up a mix of cheers and sharp takes on her workplace drama. Here’s a glimpse of the community’s fiery responses.

Oldlady0 − NTA. Congratulations, you stood up for yourself and refused to tolerate s**ual harassment. You should be proud of yourself. And shame on your co-workers who actually said you should just tolerate it and feel flattered. What are they, living in 1950?

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alongstrangesomethin − NTA. That was s**ual harassment and that can’t be tolerated. Your coworkers are in the wrong for being accepting of that behavior.

Funkativity − NTA and you should report every single comment you've gotten from the others directly to HR. it sounds like this company is overdue on cleaning out all these garbage people.

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cinnamngrl − NTA, this is like a skit for s**ual harassment training. You didn’t start this and the results are not your problem.

Terrorizza − Tell your coworkers that it is not flattering when a strange man 30 years older than you talks to you about how good he is at “pleasing women”. It is revolting.. *gag* *retch* *spew*. NTA

Xiaodisan − NTA. Not sure what is and isn't legally part of s**ual harassment or whatever where you live, but I cannot wrap my head around the idea of 'flattering' a lady by recounting past s**ual encounters with others.

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Seriously... And you did nothing wrong by standing up for yourself. (And if I didn't misunderstood, you didn't even explicitly report him. You don't have to cover for a dude that has been ignoring your discomfort.)

Queen_Dianne − NTA AT ALL. Those comments ARE gross and creepy and he should get in trouble. It doesn't matter how many or few women there are in your workplace, there's ethics in the workplace and he violated them.

RollingKatamari − Jfc absolutely, unequivocally NTA NTA NTA-this reaction is exactly why women try and play nice and don't tell anyone. This guy is being a f**king creep and you're supposed to be flattered by this???? Pretty sure if this happened to one of their daughters or mothers or wives, they'd think differently.

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thelstrahm − 'I was s**ually harassed and stood up for myself, AITA?' Jesus christ.

quiidge − NTA, you're a f**king hero. You didn't get him written up - his s**ual harassment of a colleague did. Flattered?! F**king apologists. They're not worth your time. You're better off working with the half that actually respect women and want to help you. Anyone who doesn't take harassment seriously won't take your career seriously, either.

These Reddit zingers hit hard, but do they solve the tension of a divided workplace? Real change needs more than applause—it takes grit and allies.

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Mia’s bold stand against a creepy coworker flipped her workplace upside down, exposing the raw nerve of harassment and retaliation. Her outburst sparked justice but also division, showing how speaking up can ripple through a team. It’s a reminder that courage isn’t free, especially in a space slow to change. How would you navigate a workplace split after calling out bad behavior? Share your thoughts or experiences below!

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