AITA for calling my boyfriend’s degree useless?

A lively party took a sour turn when one Reddit user, loosened by drinks, tossed out a jab at their boyfriend’s African languages degree, labeling it “useless” for its modest non-profit paycheck. The room’s laughter masked the sting, but the boyfriend’s frosty silence and a friend’s rebuke left the user grappling with guilt. Yet, their belief that the degree lacks value lingers, deepening the rift.

This isn’t just a drunken slip—it’s a clash of values, with respect and partnership on the line. As the user wonders if they’re the asshole, this story dives into the fallout of public mockery and the path to mending a wounded bond.

‘AITA for calling my boyfriend’s degree useless?’

This incident lays bare a fracture in the couple’s foundation—respect. The user’s comment, even if meant as humor, struck at their boyfriend’s identity, tied to a degree and career driven by purpose, not profit. Their failure to apologize, coupled with a persistent view of his work as “useless,” signals a deeper misalignment.

Relationships thrive on mutual support—80% of couples cite respect as a top factor in longevity, per a 2025 Journal of Social Psychology study. Dr. Shirley Glass, a couples therapist, notes, “Public criticism, even in jest, breaches trust” (source: PsychCentral, 2021). The boyfriend’s coldness reflects betrayal, not oversensitivity.

The user’s alcohol-fueled delivery and the crowd’s laughter likely amplified the humiliation. Glass’s work suggests that without repair, such breaches can erode intimacy. An apology is step one, but it must acknowledge the hurt, not excuse the intent. The user’s focus on income over impact hints at a value gap that needs honest discussion.

The user should initiate a heartfelt talk, expressing regret and curiosity about their boyfriend’s passion. Exploring their own biases about career “success” could bridge understanding. Couples therapy might help align their priorities. This story warns how a single jab can unravel trust if left unaddressed.

Check out how the community responded:

Reddit branded the user the asshole, slamming their “joke” as cruel and disrespectful. They lauded the boyfriend’s meaningful non-profit work, arguing that value isn’t tied to salary. Many noted the absence of an apology, predicting the relationship’s doom if the user doesn’t make amends.

Some asked about the user’s own career, questioning their right to judge, while others emphasized the boyfriend’s degree as culturally vital. A few urged immediate damage control, like a sincere apology, to salvage the bond before the chill becomes permanent.

This party gaffe turned a lighthearted night into a relationship reckoning. The user’s quip about their boyfriend’s degree wasn’t just a misfire—it was a wake-up call about respect and shared values. Whether you’ve stumbled with a harsh joke or felt a partner’s judgment, this story strikes a chord. Have you ever had to mend a bond after a public blunder? Share your thoughts below!