AITA for calling my bf useless?

Sweat-soaked and shivering, she lay in the guest bedroom, the world a hazy blur through a 103°F fever. The OP’s Australian Shepherd, Dixie, whimpered in pain, her dew claw caught and bleeding. What should’ve been a moment for her boyfriend to step up turned into a bitter standoff. Instead of support, she faced his shrug and a slammed door, leaving her to drag herself to the animal hospital. This Reddit tale unravels a raw clash of responsibility and resentment, pulling readers into a messy snapshot of love, duty, and a limping puppy.

The story’s tension hooks you instantly: a sick woman, a hurt dog, and a partner who’d rather light up than lend a hand. It’s a relatable slice of life that sparks questions about fairness and partnership. With emotions running high, the Reddit community didn’t hold back, and their takes add fuel to this fiery debate. Let’s dive into the chaos and see where the fault lines lie.

‘AITA for calling my bf useless?’

My bf and I moved together 8 months ago and 4 months ago we got a Australian Shepard puppy named Dixie together. My bf really wanted one and begged me to let him get one. I gave up after a month of his begging not realizing it’s because he can’t take care of a dog and now everything related to Dixie is done by me.

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I feed her, wash her, take her to vet appointments, walk her etc. My bf just plays with her after he comes back from work. He works 10h a day and I work 8 so I do all the housework and groceries now too which I wasn’t too mad about until now. Yesterday, I came down with a 103F fever from the plague and could barely get out of bed so I was isolating in our guest bedroom.

My bf came to tell me Dixie caught her dew claw on the curtain and it was bleeding. I checked it but wasn’t sure if it was a fractured dew claw or just the nail but it looked serious because she couldn’t walk and was limping so I booked a slot with the animal hospital. I asked my bf to take her but he was adamant I need to take her because he wasn’t good with hospitals.

I got mad and told him I could barely walk and he wasn’t the one being checked out he just needed to drop her off in the hospital. He just ignored me and walked out the door saying it’s not his problem. I had to drive while trying not to pass out and got her to the animal hospital.

I called my bf several times but he wouldn’t answer and when I got home he had went to the weed store(we are in Colorado so it’s legal) and was lighting up. I got pissed and yelled at him for being useless and he defended himself saying he can’t be in a hospital and clearly I could handle it since I’m still conscious.

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We got into a massive fight and I can’t believe he could be so callous to make me take our dog to the hospital while barely being able to get out of bed but maybe this is just typical guy behaviour and Im overblowing it?

This story screams one word: accountability. Relationships thrive on shared effort, but when one partner dodges responsibility, the cracks start showing. The OP’s boyfriend begged for a puppy yet left all care to her, even during her illness. This isn’t just about a dog—it’s a red flag for deeper issues in partnership dynamics.

Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes, “Trust is built in very small moments” . Here, the boyfriend’s refusal to act eroded that trust, prioritizing his comfort over the OP’s health and Dixie’s injury. His excuse—discomfort with hospitals—feels flimsy when the task was simply dropping off the dog. This suggests a pattern of avoidance, where emotional labor falls squarely on the OP.

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Zooming out, this reflects a broader issue: unequal domestic loads. A 2023 study from the Pew Research Center found 59% of women in relationships report doing more household work than their partners . The OP’s situation mirrors this, with her managing housework, groceries, and pet care, even while sick. It’s a recipe for resentment.

For the OP, setting boundaries is key. Experts suggest clear communication about shared responsibilities, like a chore chart or pet care schedule. If resistance persists, reevaluating the relationship’s balance is crucial. The OP deserves a partner who steps up, not one who steps out.

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Here’s what Redditors had to say:

The Reddit crew didn’t mince words, serving up a spicy mix of support and shade. Here’s the raw take from the crowd, with some humor and a lot of heart:

Skizzybee − NTA. Do yourself a favor and leave. Leave before you wake up one day and ten years have passed, you have a couple kids, and you're at the emergency room with one of the kids while he's getting high at the weed shop.

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DistrictEquivalent79 − NTA. Your boyfriend is useless

[Reddit User] − Obviously NTA. Your boyfriend sucks and is legitimately useless.

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sunfloweries − ok so you know your boyfriend isn't someone you can count on in serious situations. you're still with him because... is the s** good? is he rich? is he a kennedy? you have low self esteem?

Mashy6012 − NTA he's f**king useless.. It's a joke that he begged to get a dog and then immediately made it 100% your problem.. I see the same I you have kids with him

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stropette − NTA. I'm presuming you have COVID when you say you have the plague, so your BF can't look after you and he can't look after a dog. Plus he made you go out with COVID (if you have it) so you could have infected other people. Use contraception - preferably don't sleep with him again - and heave both him and he puppy. If you get pregnant by him you'll have three babies.

Hemenucha − NTA. He *is* useless. Thank you for taking care of this puppy, because he is obviously neglecting her.. Keep the dog and dump the guy.

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IllShoe4981 − NTA.. TAKE THE DOG AND RUN. you can train the dog way easier than your bf will ever turn out. He is an entitled little p**ck who needs his teeth knocked in. You don’t do that s**t to your S/O. Period. If you want the dog, you take care of the dog. If your S/O is sick, you provide comfort and do whatever you can. Period.

ThomasEdmund84 − NTA. \ maybe this is just typical guy behaviour and Im overblowing it? Nope this is pre(current) entitled abuser behaviour. It's one thing to work 10 hour days and so be little less of a chore helper, but your dude obviously thinks anything difficult around the house is 'your problem'

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shekka24 − NTA he is useless and is a walking red flag. If does that with a dog, he will do that with your kids(if you want them). Leave a find some one that respects you.

These Redditors rallied behind the OP, slamming the boyfriend’s inaction as a dealbreaker. Some saw his behavior as a preview of future neglect, while others urged her to keep Dixie and ditch the guy. But do these fiery takes capture the full picture, or are they just fanning the flames of outrage?

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This tale of a sick OP, an injured puppy, and a checked-out boyfriend is a stark reminder of what partnership should—or shouldn’t—look like. The Reddit community’s verdict is clear, but the real question is about moving forward. The OP’s anger was raw, but justified, shining a light on trust and responsibility in relationships. What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? Share your thoughts and experiences below—let’s keep the conversation going.

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