AITA for calling my aunt bitter when my brother proposed at my wedding?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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Picture a sunlit wedding reception, where laughter and clinking glasses fill the air, and a carefully orchestrated moment unfolds: a bride tosses her bouquet, a girlfriend catches it, and her boyfriend drops to one knee with a ring. The crowd erupts in cheers for this sweet double celebration. For the newlyweds, sharing their spotlight with the groom’s brother felt like weaving their joy into another love story, a memory to cherish forever.

But not everyone was swept up in the romance. As the cake was cut and toasts echoed, the groom’s aunt soured the mood with relentless complaints, calling the proposal tacky and cheap. Her negativity, like a stubborn raincloud over a sunny day, pushed the groom to snap, labeling her bitter.

‘AITA for calling my aunt bitter when my brother proposed at my wedding?’

My wife and I got married last week and like a few months before my brother talked to me. He asked if it would be ok if he proposed to his girlfriend at our wedding and he made sure I knew there wouldn’t be any hard feelings if we told him no.

And yeah I know to some people they might think that’s him trying to be cheap or “hijack” our wedding (I’ve seen some posts like that). But for us we didn’t see it that way and it was kind of exciting to be part of their story. We actually coordinated with everyone else who was gonna be there so he could work in his proposal.

The plan was when it was time for my wife to toss the bouquet, his girlfriend is supposed to catch it and then he sneaks up behind her to propose with a ring. That’s why we told everyone else so nobody else would try to catch it (plus my wife tossing it in her direction).

Everyone went along, it was a success . She caught it, my brother was able to surprise her and it worked out perfectly. Happy ending right? Well that was until one of my aunt’s wouldn’t shut up about it during the reception. I don’t know what the big deal was. My brother asked us, my wife and I were more than happy to go along.

We were at my parents table eating. Like 2 hours after the proposal she was still complaining about how tactless and cheap it was for my brother to use his own brother’s wedding. Normally everyone ignores her because she’s known to be super negative about everything. But man this time was so annoying.

And that’s why I said something like: “oh my god can you stop complaining for once? It happened already, move on and stop being so bitter for the rest of my wedding.” She was more mad at the fact that I called her bitter because according to her she’s never bitter.

But she’s allowed to have opinions and she doesn’t think it’s right that he didn’t pick a more appropriate time to do it himself. It feels so stupid because both my wife and I *wanted* to do this. My mom does think it was pretty rude so that’s why I’m here asking.

Weddings are a delicate dance of joy and expectations, and this story highlights how one sour note can disrupt the harmony. The groom and his wife embraced the brother’s proposal, turning their bouquet toss into a heartwarming surprise. Yet, the aunt’s persistent complaints reveal a clash of perspectives—her view of wedding etiquette versus the couple’s inclusive celebration.

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Etiquette expert Elaine Swann explains, “A wedding is the couple’s day, and their choices set the tone” . The aunt’s vocal disapproval, especially hours after the event, ignored the couple’s clear approval and planning. Her focus on “tactlessness” suggests a rigid view of tradition, clashing with the modern trend of shared wedding moments, with 15% of couples incorporating proposals, per a WeddingWire survey.

This scenario reflects broader family dynamics, where differing values can spark tension. The aunt’s negativity, known to her family, may stem from personal dissatisfaction or discomfort with non-traditional choices. While she’s entitled to her opinion, airing it repeatedly at the event was inconsiderate, overshadowing the couple’s joy.

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The groom’s sharp response was understandable but could have been softer to avoid escalation. A calm aside, like suggesting she enjoy the party, might have diffused the tension.

Check out how the community responded:

Reddit’s verdict was unanimous: the groom was in the clear. Commenters praised the couple’s generosity in sharing their day and condemned the aunt’s relentless negativity, noting her complaints were out of place since the bride and groom approved the proposal.

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Many found her fixation on “tactlessness” petty, with some chuckling at her denial of being bitter while embodying it. The community agreed that guests should respect the couple’s choices, especially when pre-approved, and saw the aunt’s behavior as a classic case of sour grapes stealing the spotlight.

TwoCentsPsychologist − NTA. 1. Your brother was forthcoming and politely asked first. 2. Both you and bride liked the idea, supported it and helped him plan it.. 3. Everyone seems happy about it but aunt who had no say on the wedding.. Congratulations on your recent wedding and congrats to brother and future SIL on their engagement!!

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grouchymonk1517 − NTA - you get to decide what is appropriate at your wedding. Your aunt sounds like the worst.

SolutionLeading − NTA. She *was* being bitter and you called her out on it. Congratulations to you and also to your brother!

thankuhexed − NTA. It was your wedding, and you and your wife were happy to allow him to pop the question with all his loved ones there. Your aunt was out of line, and IMO on your big day you get to put your foot down.

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mygreyangel − NTA everyone is entitled to their opinion, but that doesn't mean they have a right to express it. If she'd been polite and kept her thoughts to herself then there wouldn't have been an issue. She was a just guest, this wasn't her wedding to decide what was acceptable, she deserved to be put in her place.

[Reddit User] − 'I am not bitter' she said, bitterly. NTA but that mental image made me laugh. I had a friend who got really drunk once, screamed 'I am not a belligerent drunk!!' before angrily kicking over a beer pong table.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Your brother asked before your wedding for your blessing and you gave it and helped out with his proposal. If the bride and groom are happy with the arrangement then no other opinion matters.. She should’ve picked a more appropriate time to voice her unwanted opinion.

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OneTwoWee000 − NTA The plan was when it was time for my wife to toss the bouquet, his girlfriend is supposed to catch it and then he sneaks up behind her to propose with a ring.. This is sweet. I really like the ones where the bride is about to throw the bouquet but stops, then turns to hand it directly to the girl.

It’s great because there’s a moment of “wtf is happening” before she suddenly realizes her boyfriend proposing! — Also it’s 100% obvious that the bride and groom on in on the proposal.

Beneficial-Pizza5911 − NTA. Guests who complain about the parties they attend are the true assholes.

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Captains-Log-2021 − What you said: NTA. However, I probably would have spoken directly to her as soon as she started spreading her negativity. Like, 'I know how you feel, but it's our wedding and we planned it, so keep it to yourself.' That way, it may not have escalated.

This wedding tale, bursting with love and a touch of drama, reminds us that joy can be contagious or contested. The groom’s clapback at his aunt defended his and his wife’s vision, but it stirred a family ripple. Have you ever dealt with a guest who couldn’t let go of their gripes at a celebration? Share your stories—how would you handle a party pooper on your big day?

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