AITA criticizes selfish mother for driving despite history of fainting but still taking 8-year-old sister out?

In a quiet family home, tension crackles like static before a storm. A concerned sibling watches their mother, plagued by unpredictable fainting spells, insist on driving their 8-year-old sister and babysitting their 1-year-old niece without disclosing her condition. The fear of a catastrophic accident looms large, as each blackout—seven in twelve years—could spell disaster on the road or during childcare. When confronted, the mother clings to her independence, dismissing the risks, while the father calls the concern meddling, leaving the family at odds.

This clash, raw with love and fear, centers on the sibling’s bold stand to protect their loved ones. Calling their mother selfish sparked a heated argument, but the stakes—children’s safety and a brother’s right to know—feel undeniable. With medical tests ongoing and no diagnosis in sight, this story pulls us into a gripping debate about responsibility, family secrets, and the courage to speak up when silence feels dangerous.

‘AITA criticizes selfish mother for driving despite history of fainting but still taking 8-year-old sister out?

In the past 12 years, my mom has passed out a total of 7 times. When she passes out, she slumps over losing all motor control and is out for around 10-15 seconds. The last time it happened, she passed out in the passenger seat while my dad was driving down the road, and then again a couple hours later while at a restaurant.

She is going to the doctor for tests, but so far they don’t know what it is or what causes it. They’ve done all sorts of tests ranging from MRIs, an EKG, and are even talking about implanting a long term variant of a heart monitor. My point in telling you that is to be fair is to paint them in the appropriate light.

They are taking this situation seriously and are doing the best they can to figure out what the problem is and how they can fix it. Last night, I got into an argument with both my parents. It started out with me expressing my concern for my mom and the reoccurring passing out. I then mentioned that she really shouldn’t be driving.

I asked her what would happen if she passed out with my 8 year old sister in the car, or what if she passed out and ran into an innocent person. She basically responded and said, “How would you feel if someone tried to tell you that they were going to take your independence away from you?”

My mom had admitted though that the doctor’s nurse had called her yesterday and told her that she shouldn’t be driving. We then started talking about my brother’s one year old daughter. My mom said that if they told my brother that she was passing out randomly, they would stop letting her see their granddaughter.

I told them that this was my brother’s decision to make, since it is his daughter, but that he at least had the right to know. My dad butted into the conversation and told me that he doesn’t like “busy bodies” that get in the middle of other peoples business, and that this was none of my business so I should stay out of it.

This made me mad, because I am pretty close to my little sister and my brother’s family, and I know he would be absolutely pissed off if he found out she was holding this back from him. I told them both that they were being selfish, thinking only about the things that they would lose out on because of this problem (my mom’s independence and my brother refusing to let her watch their granddaughter).

They continued to rationalize it, talking about how infrequently it has happened over the past 12 years. I ended up getting mad, giving up, and walking off. I feel awful. I’m scared for my mom because I don’t know what this thing is, and I’m scared for my little sister and niece because they could be seriously harmed because of this. I need your feedback Reddit. AITA?

ADVERTISEMENT

UPDATE: I got my mom to talk to my brother and his wife about the medical issue. My mom said that she will let me and my dad drive my little sister and her around until they get this thing diagnosed and a treatment figured out. Thanks for the feedback Reddit!

This family’s standoff over fainting spells and driving is a stark reminder of how health issues can strain family ties. The sibling’s confrontation, calling their mother selfish, stems from genuine fear for their sister and niece’s safety. Neurologist Dr. David E. Newman-Toker, cited in Johns Hopkins Medicine , notes, “Syncope, or sudden fainting, can be catastrophic if it occurs while driving, posing risks to the driver and others.” The mother’s insistence on driving, against medical advice, prioritizes her independence over safety, a choice that could have dire consequences.

ADVERTISEMENT

The parents’ dismissal of the sibling’s concerns—especially the father’s “busy body” jab—reflects a defensive stance that ignores the gravity of undiagnosed syncope. A 2023 study from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration reports that medical emergencies contribute to 1-2% of fatal crashes annually, underscoring the real danger. The mother’s fear of losing access to her granddaughter is understandable but doesn’t justify withholding her condition from her son, who deserves to make informed childcare decisions.

For solutions, the sibling’s update shows progress—convincing their mother to disclose the issue and stop driving. Dr. Newman-Toker advises comprehensive testing, like the heart monitor mentioned, to pinpoint causes like arrhythmias. The sibling could encourage their brother to discuss safety plans, such as supervised visits, to maintain the grandmother-grandchild bond. Reporting concerns to the DMV, as suggested by Reddit, could reinforce accountability

ADVERTISEMENT

These are the responses from Reddit users:

The Reddit crew jumped into this family drama like it was a high-stakes town hall, dishing out support and sharp warnings with equal gusto. From urging the sibling to tell their brother to calling the mother’s actions reckless, the comments are a fiery mix of empathy and alarm. Here’s the unfiltered take from the crowd:

[Reddit User] − NTA. Tell your brother. Call her doctor’s office and tell them your mother has continued to drive against the nurses advice. A year or two ago in Brooklyn a woman who had been advised by her doctor not to drive had an “episode” while parked at a red light,

ADVERTISEMENT

accelerated through the intersection, and killed two young children. Driving is a privilege, not a right, any anyone who cares so little for the safety of others does not deserve that privilege.

IridianRaingem − NTA. If a doctor has specifically said she should not be driving that’s the end of it. If you feel like she is going to put children’s lives at risk you have every right to tell your brother what’s going on.

It seems like a stupid fear she won’t get to see her grandchild at all. I don’t see someone cutting all contact from the grandchild over that. Definitely not letting her drive the baby anywhere. But just to see her?

ADVERTISEMENT

[Reddit User] − ESH for not having told your brother already. Losing your independence is nothing to losing your children's lives because your mother wanted to hide her illness. Call your brother now.. No one needs to drive.

RunningFromFOMO − NTA. Good job for sticking up for your sister and niece. They deserve to be safe and sound and your mom IS putting them at risk with her actions and she needs to realize that. You aren't a busy body OP, just a responsible person, unlike your parents.. On a another note, I hope your mom's problem is diagnosed soon and is treatable.

lunamoon_girl − Each state has a form to report concerns to the DMV. A physician can report but I believe anyone who knows the persons hx can also report. Search for your local guidelines

ADVERTISEMENT

gagnificent − Definitely NTA. She is endangering everybody on the road: pedestrians, motorcyclists, young children not paying attention, and most importantly for you, your sister and niece. She is being incredibly selfish, and there is a reasonably uncomfortable chance that she's going to end up killing someone.

[Reddit User] − NTA. That's downright scary and dangerous. “How would you feel if someone tried to tell you that they were going to take your independence away from you?”. This argument/excuse has been used by pretty much *every* person who really shouldn't be driving but refuses to stop.

petuniamcflowerpot − It only has to happen once at the wrong time and suddenly life could be very different. There’s a reasonable chance it has happened more times than that too, if she loses consciousness she might not have known.

ADVERTISEMENT

You are NTA for calling her selfish and you’re right that your brother should be given the facts he needs to make an informed decision. It won’t automatically mean she can’t look after the baby, there just needs to be consideration for the risks and an action plan just in case.

Try to have the conversation again, if all else fails then force it by telling your brother he needs to ask about her health problem. I am a parent and would be livid if someone had hidden this sort of thing from me and knowingly continued to care for my child while potentially impaired without any risk assessment.

As an aside, there’s a great documentary series on Netflix - I think it’s called Diagnosis - which features a few people with similar issues. Might be worth a look. Good luck, friend

ADVERTISEMENT

666POD − NTA, in fact what she’s doing is criminal. If someone dies she could be charged with manslaughter. Tell your brother for starters and calls child protective services.

whatsername235 − NTA, you have everyone's interests in mind. If a doctor has told her not to drive, she shouldn't be. Depending on where you live, it may be against the law, will absolutely invalidate any insurance

and if the worst happened it would be a possible death situation. Tell your brother. Maybe he can help you talk some sense into your parents. Just because she can't drive, doesn't mean she won't see her granddaughter. Continuing as she is might.

ADVERTISEMENT

These Redditors didn’t hold back, stressing the life-or-death stakes and cheering the sibling’s stand. But do their bold calls to action capture the full complexity, or are they just fanning the flames? One thing’s clear: this fainting fiasco has sparked a fierce safety debate.

This story of fainting spells and family secrets weaves a gripping tale of love, fear, and the fight for safety. The sibling’s bold call-out, though heated, pushed their mother to prioritize the well-being of their sister and niece, proving that tough conversations can spark change. Yet, the parents’ resistance highlights how hard it is to balance personal freedom with responsibility. What would you do if a loved one’s health risks endangered others but they refused to act? Share your thoughts below and let’s keep the conversation alive.

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *