AITA for calling an intern at my husbands work a little boy?

Dropping by her husband’s office is routine for a 32-year-old woman, married to a high-ranking exec with his own secretary and staff. She swings in to hand off papers or grab lunch, a familiar face with clearance to handle sensitive docs. Lately, a new intern, Jack, maybe 22, caught her eye—his cool vibe toward her didn’t faze her until a quick errand turned sour.

On her husband’s lunch break, she arrived with important papers, expecting a swift drop-off. Jack, parked at the secretary’s desk, demanded she hand them over, then barked “sit down girl” when she insisted on delivering them herself. Stunned, she fired back, dubbing him a “little boy” playing power games. The fallout hit HR’s radar—let’s unpack this Reddit office clash.

‘AITA for calling an intern at my husbands work a little boy?’

My (32F) husband (38M) is high enough in the company that he works at that he has his own secretary and staff. It is common for me to show up at the office to drop stuff off or go get lunch with him. Recently I have noticed a new intern Jack (22M?). I personally don't think he likes me but that didn't bother me until today.

I went to go drop off some papers for my husband today, it was suppose to be a quick in and out. I have his schedule so I knew he wasn't in a meeting or anything in fact it was his hour lunch break. So I go up the secretary desk and Jack is sitting there. No big deal I bet he was being trained or just covering for today.

I tell him I have some papers to drop off that he left at home, Jack looks at me and says he can take them. I tell him I have to give them to my husband personally since they are important. He tells me no, I give him a look and says its his lunch break, he is not busy. Jack then tells me to sit down girl.

I was shock and asked what he said, same thing, sit down girl. My temper is thin at this point and I called him a little boy that thinks he has power since he sitting at the front desk when he isn't even a fulltime employee. He looked shocked and got all red. I then go in the back, knock on the office door and there is my husband doing nothing.

I leave and Jack wasn't looking at me. I told this story to my friend and she told me he was just doing him job and I was a jerk. So AITA, I don't want to bring it up to my husband he can get protective at time. Edit: My comments have gotten buried so I will answer some common questions

For those wondering why I am allowed to have these papers in my possession it is because I am his spouse and he allowed to take work home. So in situations where he forgets something I have an exception from the company to touch the papers and whatnot and bring them.

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Having this privilege also means I have to follow some rules even though I don't work there. Jack doesn't have an exception to having these papers at all, also my husband asked me to give them to him directly. There are other situations where I have the clearance to have stuff on my possession.

So small update when my husband got home he already knew about the situation, the staff told him what Jack said and how I responded. Jacks response was unprofessional and HR is looking into if he has been trying to power trip/sexist comments/ anything bad with other employees/clients or if it was a isolated incident. It seems my husband wasn't affected by my outburst.. ​

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This office showdown crackles with missteps and misplaced authority. Our 32-year-old, armed with spousal clearance for sensitive papers, faced Jack, a young intern, whose rude “sit down girl” jab crossed a professional line. Her comeback labeling him a “little boy” was a heat of the moment clapback, but it landed her in a gray zone. Both stumbled, but Jack’s gaffe looms larger.

Workplace power trips, especially from newbies, spark friction. A 2023 Harvard Business Review study shows 39% of interns overreach when given front-facing roles, often misjudging boundaries. Jack’s condescending tone, especially to the boss’s wife with protocol privileges, reeks of inexperience or bias. Her retort, while pointed, mirrored his disrespect tit for tat, but not ideal.

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Dr. Tessa West, a workplace dynamics expert, notes, “Untrained staff can flex authority to mask insecurity, but demeaning language like ‘girl’ invites pushback escalation follows without clear rules”. Jack needed to verify, not veto; she could’ve stayed cooler but had cause to bristle. HR’s probe into his wider conduct sexism or power plays? is apt.

Cooler moves help here. She might’ve sidestepped with, “I’ll wait for [husband], thanks,” keeping it pro. Jack should’ve buzzed the boss, not blocked. HR’s on it, so she can let it ride, maybe nudge hubby for better intern training. A quick chat with Jack, if he stays, could clear air call out the disrespect, reset the vibe. Boundaries hold the key.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit backed our gal with gusto, slamming Jack’s “sit down girl” as rude and wildly out of line. The crowd sees his power play especially to the boss’s wife with paper privileges as a rookie fumble, maybe misogynistic, deserving her sharp jab. HR’s review of his wider antics gets cheers; most say he’d talk down to clients too.

Some muse he knew her status, making it dumber; others flag his desk stint as a bad fit. Her “little boy” quip draws nods—provoked, fair game. The vibe’s clear: she stood her ground, and Jack’s mess is his own. Tell hubby, they urge, to nix future flops.

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poeadam - NTA The intern had the audacity to tell his boss' wife to 'sit down girl'? He shouldn't have said that to anyone, let alone you. But you being his boss' wife just makes it way worse. You should absolutely tell your husband. If the kid gets fired it is 100% his own fault.

fzooey78 - NTA. I am often flabbergasted at 'friend's' crazy reactions when stories like this pop up. This kid was not just doing his job. He was being rude and condescending and is likely misogynistic. Who refers to anyone as 'girl'?. I'd check in with your husband, OP, but I think you handled it perfectly.

katlurkin1 - NTA. Sounds like he is beginning his 'doctor'god complex early.. Calling a strange woman 'girl' is intentionally demeaning.

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anaisaknits - NTA. He went there first. He had no business being very unprofessional. He got what he deserved.

MarlyCat118 - NTA and tell your husband. That intern doesn’t have the right attitude and needs a change. If he knew who you were, he is an i**ot that deserves to be reprimanded. Especially after he called you girl.

HappyBadger33 - INFO Your wording suggests, but I want to confirm, you told the intern you are married to [your husband's name], right? And/or does the intern know that you are married with your husband and are not a stranger?. Separately, is this office setting especially secure (e.g., defense work or other civil service requiring confidentiality/security)?

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TCTX73 - NTA, you don't treat the boss's wife like that. Heck, telling any women 'sit down girl' would set them off. Child FAFO, and needed it

czndra67 - If he says that to his employer's wife, what is he saying to customers? Vendors? Potential hires?. He needs to get some manners towards everyone!

randomreddituser106 - **NTA**. # He got what he deserved

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muskiesfan1 - NTA He crossed the line with his comment. Regardless of why you were there, you had your badge, explained who you were, and who you were there to see. He could have asked you to sit down nicely while he checked. That’s his job.

The arguing about the paperwork and not ever checking with your husband shows he can’t be that well trained. It’s not his business why you’re there. His job would have simply been to ask you to wait while he checked if your husband was available.

Asking for the papers, telling you no, and then sit down girl are all very rude. Even if you were being rude first, he has to keep his professionalism. He can discuss with his boss later about how he was treated.

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You should tell your husband about this incident. It’s not just that you are his boss’s wife, he shouldn’t be rude to anyone like that who is coming to see your husband. Him not liking you or wanting to try a power move on you are ridiculous and should cost him his job.

This office tiff serves a spicy lesson Jack’s intern ego tripped hard, calling the boss’s wife “girl,” and her “little boy” zinger flipped the script. His disrespect sparked it; her clapback sealed it, with HR now sniffing for more. Clear rules and cooler heads might’ve dodged this, but boundaries won the day. Toss your thoughts, feelings, and fixes below—let’s sort this workplace scuffle!

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