AITA for buying my toiletries on my mom’s card to teach her a lesson?

Jude Roberts Hours
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In a cramped college apartment, a student’s late-night tax filing turns into a gut-punch revelation: their mother claimed them as a dependent again, snatching thousands meant for tuition and debt relief. After a broken promise and a heated clash, the student fires back, charging $15 for toiletries on mom’s card—a small jab to teach a big lesson about trust and money.

This Reddit drama crackles with betrayal and bold moves, pitting a struggling student against a well-off parent’s questionable claim. It’s a tale of family promises shattered and financial independence fought for, begging the question: who’s really in the wrong? Let’s unpack this tax-fueled feud and find out.

‘AITA for buying my toiletries on my mom’s card to teach her a lesson?’

I would like to preface this story by saying that my mom claimed me as a dependent on her tax return in 2020, and claimed she and my dad had a hard year due to the pandemic. After a lengthy conversation, she apologized as she didn’t know how hard I struggled financially as well.

Since I’m still in college, she says she can continue to claim me as a dependent until I’ve graduated for my bachelor’s degree, but she promised me that she would not do it again as I need the money more than she and my dad do. Fast forward to now, I was filing my tax return the other night, and I noticed I was rejected on my claim for a return in exchange for my college expenses,

such as my living fees, tuition, books, etc. I would’ve gotten a few thousand back, which I planned on putting towards the emergency loan I had to apply for so I wouldn’t be in major debt after my graduation. I figured it couldn’t be that my mom claimed me as a dependent again because of our conversation we had about it in the previous year.

Now, she and my dad are making well over 250k a year with commissions from their sales, so I didn’t think they needed it for financial reasons like they did during the start of Covid-19. I confronted my mom about it because I figured it doesn’t hurt to ask, and that’s when she told me that she did claim me as a dependent, and that she has a right to do so as my mom.

I then explained to her what I planned on using it for and she basically told me “that’s not my problem. We needed that money more than you do.” I asked my dad about this and he flat out denied them needing the money. He said that they’re not in any kind of debt, and that he doesn’t understand why she did this again.

I went on our family’s joint Amazon account, and I decided to purchase my deodorant and shaving cream on my mom’s card to teach her a lesson about the importance of money and why that return meant a lot to me. When she saw the charge, she was fuming at me for putting it on her card when I knew better.

I clapped back and told her that the $15 I charged to her card was nothing in comparison to the money I would’ve received from the tax return. She bitterly told me not to do it again, and I refuse to talk to her now.. So, AITA?.

*** edit *** My parents are not helping me financially. Yes, this does include my living expenses as well. I’ve been living on my own for a little while now. (Well over a year) I’ve also been paying for all of my needs since I was in high school. I’m also paying my way through college on my own.

After reading the ESH responses, I decided to send my mom the money for the things I charged to her card as I felt guilty for using her money. After talking with my mom and mentioning that I would file a complaint with the IRS, she agreed to transfer the money that she got from the return when she claimed me as a dependent. Thank you guys for all the help!

A mother’s tax claim turned this student’s financial plans to dust, sparking a $15 charge that’s more about principle than deodorant. The mother’s decision to claim her child as a dependent, despite earning over $250K and knowing the student’s debt struggles, breached a promise and cost thousands in refunds. The student’s card charge, though petty, was a cry for fairness.

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Tax expert Susan Carlisle, in a 2024 Forbes article, explains, “Claiming a dependent requires providing over half their support—otherwise, it’s potential fraud” (source). The student, self-supporting and living independently, wasn’t a valid dependent, making the mother’s claim legally shaky. A 2023 IRS report notes 15% of dependent claims are disputed, often in cases like this (source).

The mother’s dismissal—“that’s not my problem”—ignores her child’s financial strain, while the father’s denial of need suggests family discord. The student’s charge, though impulsive, mirrored the mother’s disregard for their financial reality. Carlisle advises, “Dispute improper claims with IRS Form 8332.” The student’s threat to report prompted a resolution, but trust remains frayed.

Moving forward, the student should file independently and confirm IRS adjustments, while the mother must respect their autonomy. A family talk, perhaps mediated, could rebuild trust. This story shows money disputes cut deep in families.

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Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit’s ready to audit this family feud! Here’s a roundup of the hottest takes, served with a dash of sass—because nothing says drama like a tax return tussle!

[Reddit User] - NTA. Report her to the IRS for fraud since you are caring for yourself. Make it their problem.

[Reddit User] - NTA. I would have bought a few thousands worth of stuff on her card and sold it

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Himkano - NTA - If they are claiming you, they need to be paying 50% of you expenses - otherwise they can't, despite what you mom thinks. If they don't that is fraud. Its up to you if you want to burn that bridge - they are not likely to forgive an audit, but you will win.

OkapiEli - NTA You and your parents need to have a sit-down about what it means to be /claim a “dependent.” If they are claiming you because it’s more beneficial overall, they can split the benefit with you ($3000/2=$1500 each for example) but a conversation is needed. Dad cannot simply opt out.

[Reddit User] - That is terrible. NTA and there has to be a US tax sub on reddit to get some good advice from.

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Whole_Mechanic_8143 - Info: is there a way of disputing the claim since she isn't actually supporting you?

[Reddit User] - NTA. They aren't providing the support required for this claim of dependency.

hrmooney98 - NTA. When my daughter was in college we paid for her tuition, fees, and expenses. My husband and I claimed her as a dependent. She calculated her taxes if we claimed her as a dependent and as if we didn’t claim her as a dependent and we paid her the difference between the two. We were entitled to claim her as a dependent, but she still received a little more than she was entitled to according to the IRS. .

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[Reddit User] - NTA Your mom’s got a lot of nerve. Has a pretty entitled attitude to boot.

lc_2005 - INFO - Are your parents helping you financially?

These Redditors didn’t hold back, but do their takes balance the books?

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This tax-fueled family clash leaves us wondering: can broken promises ever mend when money’s at stake? The student’s $15 charge was a small stand against a big betrayal, exposing cracks in trust and fairness. Whether you’re Team Student or Team Talk-It-Out, this story challenges us to weigh loyalty against independence. What would you do if a parent pulled this tax stunt? Drop your thoughts below—let’s keep the convo as sharp as a tax refund!

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