AITA for buying my son a “pink” iPad?

In a cozy living room, a 7-year-old boy’s eyes light up as he clutches a shiny new iPad, its rose gold hue sparkling under the afternoon sun. For this autistic child, the device isn’t just a gadget—it’s a gateway to learning through literacy games he loves. His parents, beaming with hope, made the pricey purchase to nurture his progress. But the joy dims when Grandma’s voice crackles through a video call, dripping with disapproval over the “pink” iPad and its cost.

This story, plucked from Reddit’s AITA forum, dives into a modern parenting dilemma: balancing a child’s needs with societal expectations. The clash over a colorful iPad unearths deeper questions about gender norms and enabling growth. It’s a tale that invites us to ponder—what’s more important: a child’s happiness or outdated conventions?

‘AITA for buying my son a “pink” iPad?’

This is a weird one. My son is 7 years old and autistic, at his school they use iPads for literacy games. According to his teacher he really engages with these games but as they only have one iPad for the entire class he often doesn't get to use it for more than 10 minutes. So today after a discussion with my partner we decided to go out and buy him his own iPad,

nothing special just the base model. He did pick out the rose gold version because he liked the colour (he thought it was pink and he loves pink.) We did this so he has more time to learn from the things that he is engaging with as opposed to trying to force him to learn in other ways, which usually just ends up with him getting overly frustrated.

It was still a rather expensive purchase for my family but luckily I had some money stashed aside and I used that. My son was excited about his new iPad so we video chatted to my mum and told her about his new iPad. She was disgusted that we spent so much money on him. She was disgusted that we got him a pink one because 'he will be teased for having a pink iPad.

' And 'he has enough issues without getting a pink iPad as well'. I told her the colour doesn't matter, we can always put a case on it and it's his iPad, he should be able to get whatever colour he wants. She then said we were assholes for getting him an iPad because 'he needs to learn how to share with other kids.

' Keep in mind, this iPad is strictly to be used at home we aren't going to let him take it to school. It's just so he can practice in his own time at home at his own pace. She's furious with us for 'enabling another spoilt child' and I'm annoyed at her for not seeing how this can benefit my son.. AITA for buying my son a 'pink' iPad?

Buying a child an iPad, especially for educational purposes, can be a game-changer. For a child with autism, tailored tools like tablets often unlock learning in ways traditional methods can’t. The parent’s choice reflects a deep understanding of their son’s needs, prioritizing engagement over convention. But Grandma’s critique—focused on the iPad’s “pink” hue and cost—hints at a generational divide, where rigid gender norms and frugality clash with modern parenting.

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The color debate isn’t trivial; it’s rooted in societal expectations. A 2018 study from the Journal of Consumer Culture noted that gender-coded colors, like pink for girls, persist in marketing, shaping perceptions from childhood. Grandma’s fear of teasing reflects this, but the parents’ dismissal of color stereotypes empowers their son to embrace his preferences without shame.

Dr. John Duffy, a clinical psychologist and parenting expert, emphasizes, “When parents support a child’s unique needs, they foster resilience and self-acceptance”. Here, the iPad’s educational value outweighs its hue. The parents’ decision to let their son choose aligns with Duffy’s advice: prioritizing a child’s individuality builds confidence. Grandma’s “spoiling” concern misses the mark—structured screen time for learning isn’t indulgence; it’s strategic.

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For parents in similar spots, experts suggest clear boundaries (like home-only use) and open communication with critics. Explaining the iPad’s purpose might bridge the gap with Grandma.

Check out how the community responded:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a mix of cheers and eye-rolls for this family saga. It’s like a virtual potluck where everyone brought their spiciest takes. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the crowd:

cyfermax − NTA. Your mum sounds super judgemental and negative.

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ZemheriAzize − I still don't get what's so wrong with using the colour pink for boys. He chose it himself. He likes the colour. Pink for girls and blue for boys is the old traditional bs almost nobody wants to get over with. And no, I don't think you spoil him for buying him an Ipad. I assume he doesn't get such expensive gifts often (considering the stash) and it's literally so he can learn at his own pace.. NTA.

Trh5001 − NTA - my son also is also 7 with autism and we got him his own ipad for the exact same reasons. It has helped our son alot. If your mom is worried about the color suggest she buy a cover/case for it as our son is actually on his second because his battery died on his first one but due to a small screen crack apple care wouldn't replace it.

Revolutionary_Tune89 − NTA.. Colors don't have a gender.

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SpunkyRadcat − NTA - Kids with disabilities need to be able to work with what works best for them. If that's the ipad, rock it. If he wants pink, do it. It'll make him a better kid down the line. Not only will he be smarter for having the chance to learn in a way that's comfortable for him, he'll be less hung up on gender roles and other trivial crap like that.. As someone with ADHD I wish my parents had been as good as you.

Xiu9990 − NTA the only issue i see there is the one your mother have with her grandson

BT13YT − NTA. Why does it matter if it's pink? He picked out the pink one bc he likes pink. There's nothing wrong with that. My parents painted my walls blue when I was four because I like the color blue. Nobody comes over to visit, sees that my walls are blue, and starts complaining!

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kiwi_in_TX − NTA. You are the parent, not your mom. Keep doing what you need to for your son - you’re doing a great job

[Reddit User] − NTA your son is lucky to have parents who care about his needs.

angelfishsticks − NTA. She clearly doesn’t understand much about the iPad, it’s purpose, or him.

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These Redditors rallied behind the parents, praising their focus on their son’s needs while dunking on Grandma’s outdated views. Some saw her color fixation as a relic of rigid norms; others high-fived the parents for empowering their kid. But do these fiery opinions capture the full picture, or are they just adding fuel to the debate?

This story highlights the tug-of-war between supporting a child’s unique needs and navigating family expectations. The parents’ choice to prioritize their son’s learning over societal norms or Grandma’s grumbles is a bold stand for individuality. It invites us to reflect on how we balance tradition with progress in our own lives. What would you do if you faced a similar clash over a child’s needs? Share your thoughts and experiences below—let’s keep the conversation going!

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