AITA for buying my son a car but not my daughter?
Picture a proud dad cheering at his son’s college football games, beaming as he hands over the keys to a shiny new Hyundai. Meanwhile, his daughter, fresh out of high school, watches from the sidelines, her dreams of a matching car stalled. This isn’t a tale of malice but a family clash over fairness and effort. A father’s decision to reward his son’s athletic grind with a car while expecting his daughter to earn her own has sparked a heated debate at home.
The daughter cries favoritism, but the dad insists it’s about hard work, not gender. Reddit’s buzzing with opinions, and this story peels back layers of parental expectations and sibling rivalry. Let’s dive into the original post, hear from an expert, and see what the community thinks about this roadblock in family harmony.
‘AITA for buying my son a car but not my daughter?’
A father’s choice to treat his kids differently has driven a wedge between them. Here’s the full story from the Reddit post:
This car conundrum is less about wheels and more about navigating family fairness. The father’s pride in his son’s athletic and academic hustle is clear, but his daughter’s feelings of being sidelined highlight a deeper issue: perceived favoritism.
The father views his son’s football scholarship as a reward for grueling effort, while his daughter’s “coasting” doesn’t measure up. Yet, as family therapist Dr. Harriet Lerner notes, “Fairness doesn’t mean treating everyone the same; it means understanding their unique needs.”His daughter may feel her intelligence, requiring less effort, is undervalued.
A 2023 study from the Journal of Family Issues found that 55% of siblings report perceived parental favoritism, often tied to differing expectations. The father’s offer of a car for a 3.5 GPA is a step toward fairness, but setting clear, tailored goals earlier could have prevented this rift.
Dr. Lerner suggests parents communicate openly about expectations. The father could sit down with his daughter to set achievable milestones, like part-time work or academic targets, to earn perks. This approach validates her strengths while encouraging growth.
See what others had to share with OP:
Reddit’s got no shortage of hot takes on this family road trip gone awry—here’s the fuel they’re throwing on the fire:
![[Reddit User] - INFO. I'd like to know more about your daughter's extracurriculars even if you deem them superfluous or unimportant. Getting a football scholarship and good grades is indeed worthy of praise, but I get the impression you're putting football on a pedestal compared to other pursuits, academic or otherwise.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/225405cmt-08.png)
![[Reddit User] - YTA! the way you presented your reasonings - YTA. If you want her to try harder and work harder, you can give her a benchmark e.g. 'if you get a 4.0 your fall quarter I'll buy you a car' or 'if you get a part-time job I will help you buying a car', rather than saying 'you want money and a car? get a job' because that's not what you told your son. Not everyone is capable of accomplishing as much as your son.. Edit: YTA](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/225405cmt-19.png)
These comments range from slamming the dad’s playbook to cheering his tough-love tactics. But is fairness a one-size-fits-all deal, or does it need a custom tune-up?
This tale of cars and sibling strife shows how quickly good intentions can veer off course. The dad’s not wrong to reward his son’s hustle, but his daughter’s feeling like she’s stuck in the backseat. A clear map of expectations could steer this family back to harmony. Have you ever felt overshadowed by a sibling’s achievements? What would you do in this dad’s shoes? Share your thoughts below!
