AITA for buying my dream wedding dress when my friend says they are too similar?

Jonathan Hours
Comments 0 Comments

The soft glow of a bridal boutique’s chandelier lit up her face as she slipped into a lace-draped mermaid gown, her heart singing with joy. For one bride-to-be, this was the dress—the one she’d dreamed of since childhood. But her longtime friend, also planning a wedding, saw it differently, hurling accusations of selfishness and theft. What should’ve been a moment of celebration turned into a battlefield of jealousy and copied plans, leaving Reddit abuzz with opinions.

Weddings are supposed to be magical, but when a friend starts claiming your ideas as her own, the sparkle fades fast. This bride, caught between loyalty and her vision for her big day, faced a friend who seemed more like a bridezilla than a bestie. From stolen table decor to dress disputes, their 17-year friendship teetered on the edge. Was she wrong to hold fast to her dream dress?

‘AITA for buying my dream wedding dress when my friend says they are too similar?’

The bride shared her story on Reddit, seeking clarity amid the chaos of wedding planning and a fracturing friendship. Here’s her heartfelt post:

So both my friend and I are getting married next year, her in the beginning and I in November. To begin with she was incredibly happy for me and wanted to be involved with helping me plan my wedding but things been to spiral and she has done several things that have made me pull back.

To begin with she came with me when I tried on a wedding dress that I liked and within a week she picked a bridemaids dress for me (I'm her MOH) which was the exact same dress but in navy so I dropped that wedding dress because she was cursing and yelling at me saying I'm selfish. She has taken all my table decorations and is using them at her wedding as well as my flower design.

Now the issue is that I've found a gorgeous wedding dress that I adore but she saying that they are too similar and im stealing her dress and im being selfish again. Both dresses have lace details and buttons but different colour, different pattern of lace, different buttons and length of buttons the only similar thing is they are both mermaid.. Am I an a**hole if I buy my dream dress or is she right?

Edit: we have been friends for 17 years and always get along really well. This is her second marriage and she wants it to be prefect because her last ended so horribly. I believe she deserves the best and she deserves to be happy. And she is/was meant to be my MOH but undecided now.

All this started because I sent a photo of the dress to her as we were meant to go on a girls weekend to purchase the dress in two weeks and she flipped it. My partner and I both decided to change our wedding to a small wedding in the wilderness, only having a tiny amount of people and we aren't doing table decorations or anything elaborate.

ADVERTISEMENT

Edit: I had stopped saying anything about my wedding to her months ago and even completely stopped planning it because every time I said something negativity was thrown my way or the conversation went back to how it was her ideas. I dropped the subject focused on supporting her with her wedding because I want to be a good friend. I don't want to cause drama hence the question about the dress.

Wedding planning can unearth surprising tensions, especially when friends’ visions collide. The bride’s friend, by copying her ideas and demanding dress exclusivity, seems to be grappling with insecurity, perhaps tied to her second marriage. Dr. Andrea Bonior, a clinical psychologist, notes, “Envy in friendships can stem from unaddressed personal fears, leading to controlling behaviors”. The friend’s accusations reflect a need to outshine, not support.

ADVERTISEMENT

This situation mirrors a broader issue: competition in close relationships. A 2021 study found 45% of brides experience stress from social pressures during wedding planning. The friend’s actions—copying decor and flipping over a dress—suggest envy, undermining the bride’s joy. Her reaction risks alienating a lifelong friend.

For solutions, experts recommend setting boundaries. The bride could politely reaffirm her choices, saying, “I love this dress for my day, just as you’ve chosen what works for yours.” Resources like The Knot offer tips on managing wedding stress. If tensions persist, a neutral mediator or counselor could help.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit’s verdict came in hot, with users dishing out advice as sharp as a tailor’s scissors. Here’s what the community had to say about this bridal showdown:

ADVERTISEMENT

TravelingTechie − NTA you understand what she’s doing, right?

mylittletardis − NTA, but you don't have a friend here. She's taking every idea of yours and gaslighting you into believing you're wrong. She should be hyping you up not guilting you over your decisions. I would stick to everything you chose, besides sending an invite to this gem of a friend. Get the dress, do the table decorations, take back the flower design, and have your happy day with people who support you.

snoozyshoes − NTA. It’s your wedding, not your friends. She’s already helped herself to your ideas for your wedding, and been a bridezilla when it comes to the dress. Wear your dream dress, boo.

ADVERTISEMENT

Weskit − She's not your friend. Don't waste your time, energy, emotion, and money being her MOH. NTA.

InevitableMastodon1 − NTA. Say this when she asks you what you have decided for your wedding:. “I haven’t decided yet” And keep repeating it. There is loads of time between the weddings so no need to share your ideas with her before her own day.. She doesn’t sound like a great friend to you, to be honest.

WebbieVanderquack − NTA. All western wedding dresses are similar. There's only so much tweaking you can do to make it different from all the other long white gowns.. Buy your dress, and stop sharing all this information with her about dresses, table decorations and flower designs.

ADVERTISEMENT

[Reddit User] − NTA.. And um, are you a tad bit naive? She borrows aka uses all your table top wedding stuff, steals your first wedding dress.... Not sure if she even likes you.. Keep the dress. It's YOUR day. Once in a lifetime. If she throws a tantrum, you know where your friendship stands, right? Then act accordingly. (need no explanation what that is, I hope)

Ok-Mode-2038 − NTA. She doesn’t get to dictate what dress you buy. It’s your wedding. If you like the dress and it’s the one you want, then she needs to get over it.

Googalslosh − NTA. Tell her to stop being Bridezilla. It's YOUR wedding not hers. YOUR day. Design it how you want.

ADVERTISEMENT

BONE_SAW_IS_READEEE − NTA that is not a friend.

These spicy takes cut deep, but do they snip away the real issue, or are they just stitching together more drama?

This tale of dresses and dueling brides reminds us that weddings can unravel even the tightest friendships. The bride’s dream dress became a lightning rod for her friend’s insecurities, leaving their bond frayed. True friends lift each other up, not tear down each other’s plans. Have you ever faced a friend who turned your moment into theirs? Share your stories below—what would you do in this bridal bind?

ADVERTISEMENT
Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *