AITA for buying a “Crime scene house” and not having a problem living in it?

Shirley Stafford Hours
Comments 0 Comments

In a freshly renovated home, a teenage girl’s tears in the kitchen revealed a chilling truth: her temporary stay was in a house with a dark history. A neighbor’s vivid tale of a decade-old crime shook 16-year-old Kim, who now demands the house be sold before she and her mom move in. For her stepdad-to-be, it’s just a practical purchase—a steal in a tough market.

The original poster (OP) stands by his choice, seeing the house as a home, not a horror story. But Kim’s fear, fueled by a neighbor’s loose lips, has sparked a family standoff. This isn’t just about bricks and mortar—it’s about balancing a teen’s emotions with adult pragmatism. Readers can’t help but wonder: is the OP heartless, or is Kim’s reaction overblown? Let’s step into this haunted house debate.

‘AITA for buying a “Crime scene house” and not having a problem living in it?’

Throwaway because I don't want this on my main. I'm 40M my fiancee Cara is 37 her daughter Kim is 16. Kim's dad died when she was 6, Cara and I met when Kim was 10 but I didn't meet Kim until we were together over a year and knew things were serious.

ADVERTISEMENT

My relationship with Kim isn't parental but we get along without fuss most of the time. I feel more like an uncle figure than a parental figure. Cara's mother was just in a major car accident, and she couldn't bring Kim due to her online school schedule.

Kim had friends over without permission the last time she was left alone for a few days, so Cara asked if she could stay with me for the next few weeks (she doesn't have a firm return date yet) and I agreed. I bought a house a few years ago and finished the renovations and remodel last fall.

I got it cheap because a m**der occurred here, over a decade ago by now and no one touched it till I fixed it up. It's not like there was blood or anything anywhere, and the way I see it someone probably died in most houses and buildings that exist. It sucks but death is everywhere.

Kim has been staying with me since Saturday, and she even seemed excited when I gave her the grand tour. I showed her the basement hangout, and said she could have a friend or two over if she wanted so they could have some fun. I know she's worried about her grandma after all.

ADVERTISEMENT

I even showed Kim the room I put together for her, which made her cry cuz she must have thought she'd just be in a guest room. I wanted her to feel at home because this would be her home when she and her mother move in. Things were going great until I found Kim crying in the kitchen this morning.

She went for a walk when she woke up, and upon chatting with a neighbor down the street learned about the m**der that happened here. The neighbor was very descriptive and told her far more details than I knew, and Kim asked why I didn't tell her.

I was honest and told her that I know a major crime happened, but it was over a decade ago by now. It's not that I don't care, but the price of this house was too good to pass up, no way I could have afforded a house this nice and this big under normal circumstances.

ADVERTISEMENT

Kim demanded that I sell the house because she doesn't want to live here when she and Cara move in with me. I told her that's not happening. Cara is too preoccupied with her mom to deal with this right now, but Kim is at my throat.

Kim thinks I'm cruel for not caring enough about her to sell my house, and when I told her that I care about her and even made sure she has her own room, she snapped and said that I just don't get it. Am I an a**hole for not having an issue living here?

ADVERTISEMENT

This house hullabaloo is a clash of practical adulthood and teenage dread, with a nosy neighbor as the spark. Kim’s reaction—demanding the house be sold—stems from a visceral fear amplified by her grandmother’s accident and separation from her mom. The OP’s pragmatic view, seeing the house as a deal despite its history, makes sense but overlooks Kim’s emotional reality.

Kim, at 16, is at an age where fear of the unknown can loom large, especially after hearing graphic details. According to American Psychological Association, 60% of teens experience heightened anxiety when faced with trauma-related stimuli, like stories of violence. The neighbor’s oversharing turned the house into a horror movie set in Kim’s mind, not helped by her lack of prior warning.

ADVERTISEMENT

Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, a trauma expert, notes, “Validating a teen’s fear, even if it seems irrational, builds trust” . The OP’s dismissal of Kim’s demand risks alienating her, though selling the house is impractical. He could’ve disclosed the history earlier, given Cara and Kim’s future move-in plans.

For solutions, the OP should listen to Kim’s fears without judgment, perhaps researching the crime together to demystify it. A symbolic act, like a house blessing or sage ritual, could ease her discomfort, respecting her beliefs. Waiting for Cara’s return to discuss long-term plans can delay the sell-or-stay debate. Empathy now can make the house feel like home, so consider a gentle chat to calm Kim’s fears.

ADVERTISEMENT

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

The Reddit gang dove into this spooky saga like it was a ghost story campfire, tossing out support and shade with equal gusto. It was like a virtual neighborhood watch meeting where everyone had a take on the creepy house. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the crowd:

[Reddit User] − NAH but your neighbor. What were they thinking!? I don't think Kim has a right to demand you sell your home, but I'm gonna give her leeway for being uncomfortable and anxious due to her grandmother's situation and your neighbor being inappropriately detailed about the m**der.

ADVERTISEMENT

[Reddit User] − NAH - as a rule I don’t like to call teenagers TA here, especially ones going through major life changes like Kim is which is why I said NAH vs N-T-A. Teens behave irrationally to adults all the time and they have big emotions.

It’s not surprising to me that a teen is more creeped out by living in a “m**der house” as you called it than an adult who understands the cost of homes and the fact that death happens everywhere. Teen horror movies literally use “m**der houses” as plot devices.

ADVERTISEMENT

Especially given she was told this by a stranger and given too many details instead of having a trusted adult explain the house’s history to her and why it’s not dangerous to live there now — though if there’s any AHs in this story, it’s the neighbor You obviously shouldn’t feel any obligation to move because a teen who won’t be living in this house forever isn’t into the m**der vibes.

[Reddit User] − NAH. Kim is young and impressionable and has probably seen too many horror movies. I understand why she's scared and creeped out. But no, you should not sell the house and you're not the AH either for thinking she's overreacting.

ADVERTISEMENT

The trick here is for her to flip her view around. You guys aren't living in the ashes of a m**der, you are **giving a wonderful house a chance to be a beloved home again**. Ask Kim to think of the house like a dog. If a dog saw his owner murdered and was terrified, would she want the dog put down so no one else could own him?

Or would she want to take the dog in, care for him, love him, and give him a new chance to enjoy life? That's exactly the same here - but with a house. You may even want to look into having someone come and do something like a sage ritual to 'cleanse the spirits'.

ADVERTISEMENT

Or hold your own sort of wake to speak to the dead and make peace, ask for the victim's permission to live there. In other words, don't just ignore the discomfort she's feeling. Embrace it and actively work to dispell it. It may turn out to be an amazing bonding experience for the two of you and she will wind up very attached to the house.

MissMurderpants − The **House** didn’t m**der anyone. A bad *person* did.. NTA

MiaouMiaou27 − NTA. Of course you don't have to sell the house. Your talkative neighbor is a huge AH. Kim's having an age-appropriate reaction to learning that she's sleeping at the site of a g**esome m**der while separated from her parent and stressed about her grandmother's health.

Tell Kim that you can't sell the house, but ask her what you can do to make her feel more comfortable there. (Maybe she'll feel better after a priest or other spiritual authority comes to bless the house?)

ADVERTISEMENT

abdkhfjs − NAH look I can already imagine the number of people calling Kim entitled or bratty and I want to make it perfectly clear that her feelings are completely valid regarding this. You might be ok with living in a m**der house but that doesn’t mean everyone else is.

Doesn’t make her a bad person for being uncomfortable. And I’m gonna be blunt but did the m**der involve rape and did the neighbor include that in what they told a 16 year old girl? Cause like you said death happens but personally that would make me have the same reaction as Kim.

ADVERTISEMENT

And honestly ya should’ve at the very least mentioned the history to them when ya were buying the house as it seems the long term plan was always for y’all to move in together. That is a lil weird to me as wouldn’t you want the input of your future family in regards to your future shared home? Idk at end of the day this lil thing could’ve been avoided had the whole truth been communicated and aired out from the start but is what it is now.

seiraphim − NAH except for the neighbor, that was a total AH move on their part. Going into grisly details about something like this with a 16 year old one who they do not know is ***NOT*** okay. Now here's where I will likely get downvoted,

ADVERTISEMENT

but if Kim is at all superstitious and/or religious offer to have someone from the local clergy of a faith that is the closest to her personal beliefs come over to the house to check it out. Some people don't believe in it, but other people do and sometimes just the offer can be helpful.

[Reddit User] − I can understand why Kim is freaked out about living there, especially after you neighbor filled her in on the details. But it is YOUR house. You bought it with your money. NTA. Just as an aside, it might be worth researching the crime on your own to make sure your neighbor didn't embellish.

ADVERTISEMENT

sweadle − NAH. You can validate Kim's feelings and fears without agreeing to her demand to sell the house (or even really acknowledge it). She's away from home, her mom is gone, her grandmother is in the hospital, and she had a traumatic loss as a child. Death might feel all around her.

Houses can feel weird and scary at the best of times. I'm glad I didn't live in a m**der house as a teenager, because man, did my imagination already run wild. She is legitimately scared. You legitimately are very upset and concerned that she learned horrible details from a neighbor.

ADVERTISEMENT

That's an awful way to find that out, and details can stick in your memory. Don't brush it off. Take it very seriously. Tell her you can't put selling the house on the table right now, obviously, and need to figure out how to get her through the rest of her time there.. 1. Ask what the neighbor told her. Little details can be what makes it so real and awful.

2. Figure out if there is a part of the house that feels scarier to her (the basement maybe? The room the crime occurred in?). 3. Ask her about her beliefs. Does she believe in ghosts? Bad karma? Houses holding onto emotions? 4. Play out what she thinks might happen. Talking about it will help.

ADVERTISEMENT

Does she really think a ghost will come? Or does she just feel icky in the house? Does she think that living there will 'turn' you all bad? 5. What can you do now, today, to help her feel better in the house for now? Are you religious? Can you do a house blessing with a priest or pastor?

Visit the victim's grave and bring flowers? Sage the house? Keep the lights on at night? Say a prayer? (Don't hold a seance. That's horror movie territory) 6. So it was an abusive man who killed his wife? Talk to her about the reality of how dangerous abusive relationships are.

ADVERTISEMENT

But this wasn't a stranger who crept through the window, and it wasn't someone normal who flipped a switch and murdered his wife the next day. Abusive relationships can be viewed a little like a**oholism. Everyone knows how dangerous it is, people can see that it's getting worse, but you can't always convince the person to stop until it's too late.

It's awful and horrible, but it's not something that is happening in your life or Kim's, and not something that she's in danger of. Really push on the side of hearing and believing Kim's fears, and not dismissing or explaining them away. Tell her how sorry you are that she found out like that.

ADVERTISEMENT

Tell her how sorry you are that she is staying there with you with this new information, and unable to go home. The second you dismiss or brush off her concerns, *it's another horror movie trope* that just goes to show that you'll be the first to be killed.

Whenever she talks about selling it say 'Well, I can't sell it this week. So let's talk about how you want to get through this week.' Also 'Let's wait until we can talk to your mom about it' is a good line. Because of course your fiance will be on the side of 'don't sell the house.' But that puts the conversation off for a bit until her mom's there.

ADVERTISEMENT

GetDuffy − NAH. Kim is freaking out because to sixteen year olds, EVERYTHING IS A BIG DEAL. I say this as a 36 year old woman who used to be a 16 yo girl, and who suddenly had to share living space with a teenage girl last year when my roommate moved his girlfriend and her daughter I to his house.

Holy s**t, everything was a drama. She's not thinking logically about your amazing deal of a house. She's terrified of the neighbour's g**esome details and only thinking about how she's about to be trapped in a m**der house for her entire high school career.

Do damage control for now until her mom can be part of the conversation (her favourite dinner is a good start), try and listen earnestly to her fears, acknowledge them and the fact that m**der is scary, and turn the discussion to how you can all give the house a fresh start as a new family.

Redditors mostly sided with the OP, calling Kim’s demand unrealistic but her fear understandable, while roasting the neighbor for oversharing. Some suggested rituals to ease Kim’s mind, others urged the OP to validate her emotions. Do these takes banish the ghosts, or just stir the pot?

ADVERTISEMENT

This house’s dark past turned a teen’s stay into a test of family bonds. The OP’s practical stance clashes with Kim’s fear, showing how past tragedies can haunt the present. Whether you’re Team Keep-the-House or Team Kim’s-Feelings, it’s a reminder to meet teens where they’re at. Have you ever faced a home with a troubling history? Share your stories—what would you do in this creepy conundrum?

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *