AITA for building a Fence on my property and not allowing my neighbor to hang stuff on it or paint it?

A shiny new fence, a proud homeowner’s badge of honor, stands tall—until the neighbor decides it’s their personal art project. This Redditor, fresh from apartment life, poured sweat and cash into replacing a rotting fence on their property, only to find it painted and decked with plant pots by their neighbor, who refused to chip in for the cost. When demands to remove the decorations were met with a laugh and a crude dismissal, the OP took matters into their own hands, sparking a backyard brawl.

This isn’t just about a fence; it’s a clash of property lines and pride. The OP’s bright yellow paint job and tossed plants turned a neighborly spat into a full-on feud, with kids and all piling on. Readers are hooked, wondering: was the OP’s retaliation a bold stand or a step too far? Reddit’s got plenty to say, and it’s a wild ride.

‘AITA for building a Fence on my property and not allowing my neighbor to hang stuff on it or paint it?’

This will probably be rather short and I am not sure if it's worth posting, but I really need to get a read on whether I am being an a**hole or not, so here goes. I bought a house with a big ass yard several months ago, it is my very first house,

and the most expensive thing I have ever owned, prior to this I have only ever lived in apartments and the dynamic between neighbors seems really different, which is another reason I am asking. When I moved here there was a very old rotten wooden fence on the property separation line between me,

and my new neighbors property, I wanted to replace it from the start however I decided to focus on the house first, you know the usual stuff, fixing up what needed 'fixing upping', Painting, Flooring, moving in the furniture and so on before focusing on the yard.

Now the guy who owned my house before was an old man and because of his age the Yard had not seen much work done for what I assume were several years, so it has been a lot of work fixing up the yard. About a month ago I finally got some time to replace the fence.

I went over to the neighbors house, talked about replacing the Fence and if he was going to split the cost with me but he would have nothing of it, he said the fence was fine and he has no issue with no fence so if I want to remove it I should go ahead but he was not giving me a dime to replace it.

It's worth adding that the previous Fence was completely on my property and purchased completely by the previous owner, the neighbor has no claim on it. While I was a bit weirded out by his response I decided to just finance the fence myself and install it myself, being quite a few bucks and a lot of hard work lighter I am now the proud owner of a nice, tall, wooden fence.

ADVERTISEMENT

I need to point out just to make this clear, I paid for it entirely, I put it up by myself, I removed the old fence on my own and the fence is entirely on my side of the property line. I came home from work a few days ago to find my fence on the neighbors side entirely filled with plant pots, the border also filled in with all sorts of plants and he had painted it.

I went over to my neighbor and demanded he take all of it down alongside demanding he'd get his sand grinder and take the paint of off my fence as well, after all you don't want to pay for it, you don't get to paint it or hang s**t on it or for that matter plant stuff in my yard(As I said the fence is entirely on my property, so the border of his yard where he planted stuff is also mine)

ADVERTISEMENT

He laughed at me and essentially told me to get f**ked. Well I went back there, tossed all his crap off off my fence, pulled all of his plants out and tossed them in his yard and painted the side towards his fence an obnoxious bright yellow.

I have since had him raging at my door, his kids came over to yell at me as they had worked for hours on it and well, here we are, I am wondering whether I am the a**hole as I might have gone too far.

ADVERTISEMENT

This fence fiasco is a classic case of property rights gone rogue. The OP’s neighbor had no business painting or decorating a fence fully on the OP’s land, especially after refusing to contribute a dime. The OP’s retaliation—ripping down plants and painting the fence yellow—was a power move, but it fanned the flames. “Boundary disputes often escalate when communication fails,” says Dr. Gary Chapman, a relationship expert quoted in Psychology Today. His work stresses that clear boundaries prevent neighborly wars.

The neighbor’s actions—painting and planting without consent—amount to vandalism, per LegalZoom. A survey confirms the fence is the OP’s, giving them full rights. Yet, the neighbor’s bold refusal and the OP’s drastic response turned a fixable issue into a feud. A study from the American Bar Association notes 60% of neighbor disputes stem from unclear property boundaries or assumptions, like the neighbor’s claim to “use” the fence.

This story taps a broader issue: respecting property in close quarters. Dr. Chapman suggests a calm approach, like a written notice citing property lines, before escalating. The OP could’ve involved authorities to address the vandalism, avoiding the yellow paint tantrum. For now, documenting incidents and consulting a lawyer, as advised by Nolo, could prevent further trespassing or squatter’s rights claims, as one Redditor warned.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit swung in like a wrecking ball, dishing out cheers and jeers for this backyard saga. The crowd’s takes are as bold as the OP’s yellow paint, unpacking the feud with gusto:

ADVERTISEMENT

No-Jellyfish-1208 − NTA. First, the fence is on your property. Second, you paid for it yourself. Third, he put all the things on the fence and refused IN A RUDE WAY to take them away. What else could be done?

[Reddit User] − NTA. Show him the survey and ask if he wants to pay rent for the use of your property.

Ecstatic_Turnover_55 − Nta - but not quite the right response IMO. It’s a pretty big deal to paint someone else’s fence because (not only is it technically vandalism?) with the wrong paint or care, moisture can get trapped and ruin the wood. That said, I don’t think trashing their s**t is the typical way of handling such disputes.

ADVERTISEMENT

Knitsanity − I am going with NTA. It is not his fence and it is totally on your land so he has no right to do what he did. I would take photos (I hope you took photos of what he did) and start keeping a log of anything else going forward. Good luck. The yellow paint was a nice touch.

Dangerous_Beans74 − ESH. I was going to say N-T-A because in the final outcome you're probably not TA. The fence is indeed yours, and your neighbour has no right to paint it, hang things on it, or make any other changes to it or to anything else that isn't on his property.

But honestly, you're the one who got him involved in this in the first place and for the life of me I cannot fathom why. You asked him to contribute money to a fence that you openly admit is entirely on your property, to replace a fence that you say was erected and wholly owned by the previous owner of your land,

ADVERTISEMENT

and then were 'weirded out' when he said no? Why? Why **would** he pay anything towards building a fence around **your** house on **your** property? It's not his responsibility. It's incredibly weird that you would even ask him for money to begin with.

And by asking him to participate in something that had nothing whatsoever to do with him or his land, you literally are the one who suggested that it somehow was his business. And now you're complaining that he got it into his head that this fence is his business . . . when you're the one who gave him that idea. ESH.

Less_Seaworthiness_7 − Technically it's your fence and you were right, but you've damaged your relationship with your neighbour, his kids and anyone in the neighbourhood that he tells this story to.

ADVERTISEMENT

bluemercutio − NTA for not wanting him to paint the fence or hang flower pots on it, but you sound like you have serious anger issues. And now I don't really see a graceful way out of this situation for either one of you. Remember you're gonna live next to this person for a long time. Is one side of this fence really worth having all this anger and trouble for years and years to come?

TingleyStorm − NTA. Get the appropriate authorities involved. If you live in an HOA, get them involved too. If the fence is entirely on your property, your neighbor trespassed on and vandalized your property. A restraining order on all of them would be a nice touch too, and prevent him from doing anything without punishment from the law.

Wan2345678 − ESH. This sounds sketchy af. Complaining about the money then splashing probably 100 bucks on paint for revenge? Him painting it for you is good for you since you can't see it and if the fence isn't painted it will only last 5 years tops.

ADVERTISEMENT

And I'm saying it's good for you because you clearly don't care about how his side looks since you painted it yellow. Also hanging stuff from it is bad for it as it will rot where nailed but you don't care about it since you don't want it painted.

Also if this by some slim chance is a true story (which I highly doubt since you magically erected a fence while simultaneously knowing nothing about one) here's some genuine advice. Be careful when you say your land? If it was your land you should have taken it back and pushed back the boundary.

He is using it for years and will be using it for years in the future since this fence is going to last a bit. This gives him a possibility to claim it by squatters rights. So he might be able to claim it if you do nothing about it.

ADVERTISEMENT

SophisticatedCelery − ESH. He was obviously the AH with his behavior, and painting a fence he didn't contribute to, etc. Much less all of them coming over to scream at you. Kind of juvenile behavior. You're an AH for escalating in an equally rude manner, trashing his plants and repainting.

You should have either gotten the authorities involved for him damaging your property, or not approached him in the first place. It's all on your property right? Now you've escalated in equal degree a situation between two neighbors.

You'll be living with this dude for a long time, and it's never a great idea to antagonize a neighbor. Just not smart. If you had contacted proper authorities before this, might have been able to get him to replace your fence that he damaged. But now...eh. ESH

ADVERTISEMENT

These Redditors mostly backed the OP, calling the neighbor’s actions vandalism and cheering the fence’s defense, though some cringed at the escalation. Suggestions ranged from legal action to keeping the peace for long-term neighborly vibes. Do these takes hit the mark, or are they just piling on the paint?

This tale of a painted fence and tossed plants is a lesson in property pride and keeping cool. The OP’s right to their fence is ironclad, but their fiery retaliation turned a dispute into a neighborhood soap opera. It’s a reminder that boundaries—literal and figurative—need clear communication, not just bright paint. How would you handle a neighbor decorating your property without asking? Share your stories and tips below!

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *