AITA for bringing my baby to her sister’s performance and not leaving when she cried?

The dim glow of a middle school auditorium buzzed with anticipation as proud parents gathered for a spring theater show. Among them, a mother, eager to support her 12-year-old daughter Penelope’s solo, arrived with her 6-month-old baby, Lyla, in tow. After missing past performances due to childbirth, she was determined to be there, baby and all. But when Lyla’s cries pierced the quiet, first softly, then loudly enough to jolt the stage, the mother’s choice to stay sparked glares, arguments, and a missed moment.

Forced to the lobby by Lyla’s screams, she missed Penelope’s big solo, barred from re-entering by usher rules. Now, Penelope won’t speak to her, and her ex-husband’s fury echoes the crowd’s judgment. Was her decision to bring Lyla a heartfelt show of family unity or a selfish misstep? Let’s step into the spotlight of this emotional drama.

‘AITA for bringing my baby to her sister’s performance and not leaving when she cried?’

A mother’s attempt to juggle family support backfired on a school stage. Here’s her story, straight from Reddit:

This has caused drama I was not expecting. I have 2 children with my ex-husband, “Will””, “Penelope” (12F) and “Jonny” (10M). A few years ago, I remarried “Chris”. We have a 6 month old baby girl together, “Lyla”. Penelope and Jonny live primarily with their father as he’s closer to their school. They come to us on the weekends.

Penelope is in the theater program at her school. I missed the fall shows because I was in labor and then had a newborn. Penelope understood as best a preteen girl can. Her spring show opened last week. Chris and Lyla came with me. Will, Jonny and Will’s wife “Ariana” were already there.

Will saw I brought Lyla and got a weird look about him but Ariana hushed him and said “just let it go”. Lyla slept through the first half. A little before intermission, she awoke and was fussy. I began rocking her and trying to calm her while also watching the play. I got a few dirty looks from parents around me.

I gave them a “what can you do” shrug, as it’s a baby. At intermission, Will suggested Chris take Lyla home. I said she should sleep during the second half and Chris said he wanted to watch the performance. Will started getting upset but again, Ariana had him walk away. Lyla did fall asleep again.

But halfway through Act II, woke up and started screaming. It was loud enough this time that it did catch the performers off guard. I quickly went into the lobby with Lyla. When I tried to go back in once she calmed, the usher wouldn’t let me, saying once a person leaves, they’re not allowed in to prevent interruptions.

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Meaning, I missed Penelope’s solo. Penelope refused to see me after the show nor accept the flowers we bought for her. I watched her leaving with Ariana, who was consoling her. Will met me in the parking lot. He was pissed. He said I never should’ve brought Lyla, pointing out he and Ariana got a sitter for their young child.

I said I didn’t want to leave Lyla and felt it was good we all supported her. After missing the fall show, I wanted to be there for my daughter. I added it was just a middle school performance, it isn’t the end of the world.

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He gave me a disgusted look and walks away. Penelope hasn’t answered my calls or text. This weekend, she refused to come over. Chris thinks we were in the right, but my parents are just as pissed and called me an ass. AITA?

A mother’s choice to bring her infant to a school play lit a fuse of family tension. Lyla’s presence, while rooted in the mother’s desire to bond her blended family, ignored the predictable risk of disruption in a quiet theater. Her dismissal of early fussiness with a shrug and failure to exit promptly prioritized her presence over the performers’ focus, including Penelope’s. Missing the solo due to usher rules was a consequence of her delay, alienating her daughter and validating her ex-husband’s concerns.

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Theater etiquette demands minimal disruption. A 2023 study from the Journal of Cultural Sociology found 82% of audiences expect silence during performances, with disruptions like crying deemed disrespectful (Source). The mother’s claim of “support” rings hollow when Lyla couldn’t comprehend the event.

Parenting expert Dr. Laura Markham says, “Prioritizing older children’s milestones fosters trust” (Source). The mother could’ve arranged a sitter or had Chris handle Lyla, ensuring focus on Penelope. She should apologize sincerely to Penelope and plan a special moment to rebuild trust. Future events need better planning, like sitters for infants.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit’s curtain call on this theater mishap is a chorus of criticism, slamming the mother’s choices and cheering Penelope’s stance. Here’s the community’s vibe:

GameProtein - We have a 6 month old baby girl together, “Lyla”. I got a few dirty looks from parents around me. I gave them a “what can you do” shrug, as it’s a baby.. At intermission, Will suggested Chris take Lyla home. Halfway through Act II, woke up and started screaming. It was loud enough this time that it did catch the performers off guard. I quickly went into the lobby with Lyla.

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When I tried to go back in once she calmed, the usher wouldn’t let me, saying once a person leaves, they’re not allowed in to prevent interruptions. Meaning, I missed Penelope’s solo. He said I never should’ve brought Lyla, pointing out he and Ariana got a sitter for their young child. I said I didn’t want to leave Lyla and felt it was good we all supported her.

After missing the fall show, I wanted to be there for my daughter. I added it was just a middle school performance, it isn’t the end of the world. YTA. Penelope did not feel 'good' or 'supported' that your infant with your new husband was so loud she distracted the actors and that ultimately, you ended up missing her solo to care for her.

You should have gotten a sitter or at the absolute least taken her home when she started becoming distracting. It's also amazingly crappy to say it's not the end of the world that you ruined something so important to your daughter. You owe your daughter a massive apology for being selfish.

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morgaine125 - YTA. That was not an appropriate place to bring a baby, so you should have gotten a sitter. Lyla didn’t know what as going on, and certainly wasn’t supporting her sister.

And if you were going to insist on bringing her, Chris should have held her and been prepared to step out if she got fussy so that you didn’t miss any part of Penelope’s performance. You sent a loud and clear message that your new family with Chris is more important than your older children.

[Reddit User] - YTA. Good parents take their unruly children out of the venue to be considerate. You waited until you were a problem, instead of acting quickly. I got a few dirty looks from parents around me. I gave them a “what can you do” shrug, as it’s a baby. 'What can you do?' You should have got out of your seat and taken the baby out of the venue.

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CrystalQueen3000 - “AITA for bringing my baby to my daughters performance and missing her solo?”. There, fixed it for you and yes YTA.

moyir90 - YTA performances like that are so important to young girls. I don't know why Chris couldn't take her Lyla home since this is your daughter's solo. It would have been best to have gotten a sitter for a couple of hours.

heartbrekker - YTA. First, Lyla is a baby and can’t support anyone. You, however, are Penelope’s mother and should do whatever you can to appropriately support her. Such as having the foresight to get a babysitter, or having your husband take charge of the screaming baby.

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Second, it’s just awful that you’ve dismissed something so clearly important to Penelope as “just a middle school performance.” At 12, a solo performance is likely one of the biggest moments of her life so far, and you ruined it.

SadLeopards - YTA. 100% No one comes to a play to hear someone else's baby cry. You disrespected the efforts of the performers, disrupted the show, missed your daughter's solo, upset the other parents around you, upset the people you are meant to be co-parenting with, likely upset your own baby, etc.

Why would your daughter need or want the support of an infant who obviously would have no clue what's going on. That's bs you are telling yourself. You could have come alone. You could have gotten a sitter.

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You put your own feelings over your daughter, the work of the performers, and the other families who you interrupted there to see their own kids. I wouldn't come over anymore if I was your daughter. What's the point? You've proven exactly who and what your priorities are.

Music_withRocks_In - YTA. 1)Babies don't belong at the theater -ever. It is not a wedding or a family event, babies cry and should not be there. 2) If the baby needed to be taken out, your husband, who was not the parent of one of the children in the play, should have taken the baby - not you.

Frankly the fact that he wasn't willing to stay home with the baby OR take the baby home when the baby started getting fussy OR be the one hold the baby so you could focus on your daughter's performance OR take the baby out gives me a huge amount of side eye and makes me think he isn't willing to put in any extra effort with the baby at all.

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FritosRule - Try this on Broadway or the Opera etc, see what happens.

busyshrew - Sorry OP, you clearly burnt a bridge with your daughter. You should have had Chris take Lyla away, immediately, when she started to fuss. Why did YOU leave when you knew it something important to Penelope?

And your dismissive attitude is hurtful. Wow, what a great way to diminish and demean a child's accomplishments...... It's a good thing Penelope isn't speaking to you atm, I can only imagine the type of apology-no-apology you'd give.. Give you head a shake OP. YTA.

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These Reddit reviews are sharp, but do they catch the full act of this family drama? Was the mother’s baby-bringing a well-meaning flop or a selfish scene-stealer?

This tale of a baby’s cries and a missed solo weaves a drama of love, missteps, and middle school dreams. The mother’s bid to support her daughter dimmed under Lyla’s wails, leaving Penelope’s moment in the dark. Should she have left the baby home or fought harder to stay? If your family duties clashed with a child’s big day, how’d you keep the show going? Drop your thoughts and let’s encore this emotional saga!

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