AITA for breaking up with my ex by getting married to the love of my life?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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Imagine falling for a charming coworker, only to learn he’s married, then sinking into a secret affair that drains your wallet and heart. That’s the whirlwind Emma, a 29-year-old project manager, rode with Brad, her boss’s brother. After months of his manipulation and a close call with his wife, Emma met a new man on a trip, declared him her soulmate, and dumped Brad by announcing her engagement and quitting her job. Brad’s name-calling left her reeling, wondering if she’s the villain. Was Emma’s bold exit a fresh start, or a reckless mess?

Emma’s Reddit AITA post is a juicy cocktail of infidelity, whirlwind romance, and workplace drama, with a breakup that hits like a plot twist. Reddit’s tearing into her choices like a tabloid exposé, questioning her judgment and story’s truth. Let’s untangle this love triangle that’s got everyone buzzing like a gossip column.

‘AITA for breaking up with my ex by getting married to the love of my life?’

I am 29(F) and I met my ex at work, we’ll call him Brad. He was my boss’s brother and he was helping me with my project- I was hired to be the project manager for a new vertical of their business. We spent 2 months literally joined at the hip doing everything together, talking and catching up on coffees between vendor runs.

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I started falling for him and he for me. Cut to the launch of the project 7 weeks later, he and I are constantly talking and the evening before the launch he tells me that he’s married with a kid and he loves me as he has never met anyone like me.

I reluctantly go with him for a coffee to hear him out where he tells me how he was pressured into marrying her and they had a kid as he was sick on a deathbed and how he never loved her and they barely shared a loved bond. We started secretly meeting and going on dates as no one at work or around us could know about our affair.

We did this for 3 months, and every time we would go out, he would make me buy him gifts and pay for our dates saying he didn’t have money or had a family to support. In the beginning it was not an issue but then it got too much as I don’t come from money and I also needed to save.

Our 3rd month in, just before our big date on Valentine’s Day, his wife found the phone he used to talk to me with and threatened to leave him. She doesn’t know it was me as he didn’t save my name on that phone. Throughout this ordeal he didn’t tell me anything, just to not message him for a while.

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A couple weeks later we started to go on dates again and he kept blaming me for all the pain that he had to go through but in a veiled subtle way. How he was defying his family to be with me and anytime I would try to break it off with him he would emotionally blackmail me saying I was the happiest thing that ever happened to him and how he couldn’t thing of living without me.

I started to do then distance myself. Going out like how I used to, getting drunk and partying as usual. He didn’t like that, as he didn’t drink and in hindsight was exceptionally boring. So we did this back and forth for a couple months where I constantly kept trying to breakup but he just knew what to say.

We are now at 9 months since we started seeing each other and I was done. So I told him I can’t see him and that I was leaving town for a couple days to think it through. So my friend & I took a trip where she introduced me to this man who was amazing. The first time I saw him, he was everything.

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He was , loving, kind and so so fun. We couldn’t stop talking to each other even if we tried.. When we got back from the trip, I knew I would get married to this man. So I went to work and told my coworker( the ex) that I was set to get married and it was over for real.

He kept calling me to go out with him one last time for old times sake and I kept saying no. 2 weeks later the new bf came to my city and proposed to me and we decided to get married in 2 months over that weekend. So I went back to work and handed in my 4 week notice as I would be moving cities, and told brad the same.

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There was a lot of name calling involved from his end and he made me feel horrible that I cried. Even though he was the one who followed me everywhere and convinced me to date him, he made it seem as if I was the only one in the wrong here.. AITA for doing this to Brad?

Emma’s saga is a masterclass in poor boundaries and impulsive leaps. Her affair with Brad, a married man who manipulated her into funding his lifestyle, was a red-flag parade she ignored. His emotional blackmail kept her hooked, but her snap decision to marry a near-stranger after one meeting swaps one mess for another. Breaking up via engagement announcement wasn’t cruel—it was chaotic, reflecting her shaky decision-making.

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Psychologist Dr. John Gottman, a relationship expert, notes, “Healthy relationships require self-awareness and clear boundaries” . Her rush to marry suggests rebounding, not love, risking future regret.

Emma needs therapy to unpack why she fell for Brad’s lines and leapt into marriage. Dr. Gottman’s “self-soothing” techniques, like journaling, could help her slow down. She should live independently in the new city, dating her fiancé without rushing to wed. Emma’s not evil, but her choices scream for a pause and reset.

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Here’s what Redditors had to say:

The Reddit crew dove in like scandal-hungry reporters, slinging shade and tough love for Emma’s wild ride. It’s a virtual gossip fest where everyone’s got a hot take, and the tea’s scalding. Here’s the raw scoop:

DaniCapsFan − You are a mess, girlfriend. Brad was using you by demanding he buy you gifts and pay for the dates. I bet he never did anything for you except give sweet-talk. You knew he was married and you didn't tell him to take a hike when he tried to seduce you.

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The whole 'we never loved each other' is a line married men use to convince naive women to f**k them. It doesn't matter what he said. He's married and probably gets a kick out of cheating on his wife, which is why he'll never leave her.

And I bet his kid isn't sick either. To decide after meeting a guy ONCE that he's the love of your life and you're going to marry him is, to me, jumping from the frying pan into the fryer.. Girl, get some counseling, please.. ESH

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mazekeen19 − INFO: what the f**k?

CrimsonVixen49 − YTA for making up this clearly fake story 😒

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cassowary32 − YTA to yourself here. Slow the F down!! You fell for some really obvious lines with your ex (you paid for everything because he didn't want the affair showing up on his credit cards not because he was broke) and here you are getting swept away by another guy and leaving your job and support system to be with him.

You need some time to figure out why you went along with someone you knew was cheating from the start before you leap into another relationship. Your relationship meter is broken, don't rush into another thing!

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Move to the new city if you must but get your own place and support yourself. Find your own footing and don't rush into having kids or pets or getting married. If it's meant to be, it will be meant to be 2 years from now and you can get married then. You don't even know new guy's credit history!

Southern-Barber-5528 − YTA. The word literally has one definition. So unless you were surgically attached, you can't be joined at the hip. You made a conscious choice to be the other woman. It's easier on him to often explain how unfortunate this whole situation is from his viewpoint.

By the way, if you think his wife was ill, ever, I'd like to show you how you can turn toll booths into an investment opportunity. You shouldn't be responsible for houseplants, let alone an adult relationship. Seek therapy, boy are you going to be surprised at the exact nature of your relationship to the other people in your life. Should be a hoot.

Anonymoosehead123 − YTA. You cheated on the guy you were cheating with. JFC.

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Dry_Ask5493 − ESH. You clearly like making bad choices. You carried on an affair with a POS that was married with a kid. Then you suddenly want to marry a guy you hardly know. Girl pump your brakes and get your s**t together. Get the married guy completely out of your life and do not rush into marriage.

Mehitabel9 − Brad sucks. He's a cheater. You suck. You cheated with him. (Oh, and you're an i**ot, too. Paying for everything? Buying him gifts? Holy crap, girl, do you have even one tiny lick of common sense or self-respect?)

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Everybody sucks with the possible exception of this poor, impulsive guy who's gonna be landing himself a hot mess for a wife. Do yourself and everyone in your life a favor - get yourself into therapy. Preferably before your ill-considered marriage to a guy you barely know.

GonnaBeOverIt − YTA. You turned into an a**hole the second you started a relationship with a man and found out he was married. Shame on you remember Karma is a real b**ch. Did you bother telling your new man how you met your last man?

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IanL1713 − If this is actually a real story, then YTA on several accounts. First off, definitely TA for *knowingly and willingly* engaging in an affair with a married man. He told you straight-up that he was married, and you went 'yeah, I'm totally fine with being a homewrecker.'

Second, after his wife found out and was clearly hurt by it, you ***continued*** to engage in the affair. On the basis of what? The fact she didn't know exactly who you were Third, you intentionally did things you knew he disliked with the seeming intent of passing him off enough that he'd break up with you.

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Affair or not, that's a serious AH move. Fourth, you essentially cheated on the guy who was cheating on his wife with you. For the sake of every man on the planet, I sincerely hope you stay single the rest of your life, as you clearly take no issue with cheating on a romantic partner regardless of the seriousness of the relationship.

And this doesn't even touch on the FU of deciding someone is the 'love of your life' and your future spouse after meeting them once. You're an absolute mess if all this is true. I sincerely recommend seeking out professional therapy. You desperately need it

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Redditors roasted Emma for her affair and impulsive engagement, questioning her story’s logic and urging therapy. Some pitied her manipulation, others slammed her morals. Do their takes cut through the chaos, or just add to the noise?

Emma’s breakup-by-marriage stunt is a wild reminder that love can blur judgment, especially when tangled in lies and haste. Her escape from Brad’s grip was overdue, but her leap to a new fiancé raises eyebrows. This tale resonates with anyone who’s dodged a toxic ex or rushed a big move. What would you do if you found “the one” mid-breakup? Share your thoughts and stories below!

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