AITA for breaking a family tradition by not getting a dog. and getting a cat instead?

The new house felt like a fresh start, with a stray cat curling up on the patio, purring under the winter sun. For one Reddit user and their wife, this feline friend brought unexpected joy, but it also ignited a family feud. Their mother-in-law, a fervent keeper of a five-generation tradition of adopting dogs from a specific breeder, was horrified by their refusal to get a dog, her dismay turning to outrage when she spotted the cat.

The drama escalated when the MIL shooed the cat and took to Facebook, rallying others to push for a golden retriever. The user’s blunt refusal, vowing to return any gifted dog, unleashed a storm of criticism for shattering a cherished tradition. This tale of pet preferences and family pressure captures a clash between personal choice and inherited expectations, pulling us into a quirky domestic showdown.

‘AITA for breaking a family tradition by not getting a dog. and getting a cat instead?’

Truth be told, I'm just not a dog person. They're fun to watch from afar, I'll pet one if they come up to me, but I've just never been interested in owning one. I'm not much of a pet guy, but a girlfriend and I had a cat years ago, and that was okay.

My in-laws are nice, normal folk, but at some point, MIL asked me when we'd be going to the breeders. She said that's the family they've always gotten their dogs from, and they'll let us have our pick of any litter.

I told them we wouldn't be getting a dog, and I swear to god you'd think I'd f**king killed a puppy right then and there. It became this bizarre 'but it's tradition' and 'how can you NOT get a dog' and it was too much for me.

Anyway it's been a few months since this all started and MIL will not let it go. I've told her repeatedly, look, we're just not going to get a dog. My wife is on board with this and has told her mom to knock it off and drop it.

As it happens, when we moved into our house, a cat befriended us. She hangs out and comes in and out of the house, and according to the kind folk on Nextdoor, she was abandoned by people who lived here before.

That really bummed me out, so my wife and I have been taking care of her, especially in the winter. We have a good relationship where she'll come in and sleep in the living room, then leave when we leave for work, then come back and chill.

One time she stayed in the house during a snow storm and I had the day off so she just slept on the couch while I knitted and watched Grey's, which was cool. This past weekend MIL caught sight of lil mama snoozing on the patio and dramatically stomped and shooed the cat.

We told her to chill, lil mama hangs with us, and she became like... beside herself. How could we be so cruel as to ignore a family tradition? Why would we want some n**ty cat instead of a beautiful dog? What's wrong with me as a man that I would rather have a cat?

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It ramped up with some bizarre posts on FB asking how she can get us to ditch the cat and buy a golden retriever. Some friends suggested she just do it for us and give us the dog as a 'gift.' I hopped into the post and said something like 'Hey JSYK, we don't want a dog.

Period. If you buy us a dog, we will return it.' THAT comment is what blew up. I have SO MANY people telling me what a cruel a**hole I am, what kind of man doesn't like dogs, and biggest one is how I could possibly end a 5-generation tradition of adopting a dog from this breeder.

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Even people in my life think it's weird that we won't 'just get on with it, get a dog already' and I feel like I'm going crazy.. So reddit, AITA because I'm ending this long tradition of everyone buying a dog?

This pet saga is a furry reflection of family boundary battles. The user’s rejection of a dog tradition and embrace of a stray cat frustrated their MIL, who sees dogs as a cultural cornerstone. The MIL’s dramatic reaction, from shooing the cat to rallying online support, suggests an attempt to enforce her values over the couple’s autonomy.

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Pet ownership is deeply personal—60% of Americans choose pets based on lifestyle fit, per a 2022 ASPCA survey. The user’s preference for a low-maintenance cat over a high-care dog aligns with their needs, but the MIL’s insistence ignores this. Dr. John Bradshaw, an anthrozoologist, states, “Forcing pets on others disregards their emotional and practical capacity to care for them”.

The MIL’s fixation on tradition over the couple’s wishes risks alienating them. Her public campaign and suggestions to “gift” a dog show a lack of respect for their boundaries. The user’s firm stance, while blunt, protects their right to choose. Bradshaw’s insight underscores that pets thrive with committed owners, not coerced ones.

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To ease tensions, the couple could invite the MIL to meet the cat, showing its positive role in their lives. Setting clear boundaries, like blocking pet “gifts,” is key. The story highlights how traditions can clash with modern choices, reminding us to prioritize personal values.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit users rallied behind the user, calling the MIL’s dog obsession bizarre and overbearing. They praised the couple for standing firm and caring for the stray cat, urging them to protect their feline friend from meddling in-laws.

Circle_Breaker − NTA. Grab the cat, take it to the vet to be microchipped and make sure it has all of it's shots. You have a cat now.

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tudorcat − NTA. This is a weird 'tradition'. Your MIL is acting batshit insane. She's also the a**hole here for threatening to get rid of your cat, and it sounds like she has no compassion for any animal that's not a 'beautiful dog' from a breeder.

And on top of that she wants to dump a dog on someone who doesn't want it? That'd be so bad for the dog. You're under no obligation to get a dog just because someone wants you to. This is an absolutely insane thing to expect of someone.. And by the way, lots of men love cats :)

PhillyMila215 − This seems like a really silly hill for the in laws to die on. Very disturbing and of course you’re NTA

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cyfermax − 'but it's tradition'. Your tradition, not mine.. NTA, only because she won't let it drop.

OhEightFour − What the absolute hell? NTA, so very much NTA. A dog is an *enormous* responsibility for a large portion of your life, not a cute family tradition. Who feels this strongly about dogs vs. cats? How does this even affect your mother-in-law? Who are these assholes on Facebook suggesting she thrust an unwanted dependent creature upon you? This post broke my brain.

codeverity − NTA. PLEASE keep an eye on your little feline friend as these people sound like the type to do something to get their way.. Also, I'd be tempted to get two cats just to show them, lol.

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TMalander − **NTA**. God damn, what kind of batshit crazy people do you surround yourself with? This is so f**king far out there that it's insane. You don't push other people to get a pet? Getting a dog is a huge responsibility, why would you try to force someone that has no interest in getting a dog to get one? I'm actually dumbstruck by this level of stupidity that you describe.

DDarlinNikki − I have literally never heard of owning a dog being a “tradition”.. Did they lose their minds and never bothered looking for it?. NTA

[Reddit User] − NTA. This is a bizarre overstep. I hope this woman doesn’t have keys to your home...

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KBWordPerson − NTA this is bonkers. I love all sorts of critters. I have owned just about every pet there is. One thing I do know is that all pets deserve owners that want them. If you don’t want a dog, you don’t want a dog. PERIOD. That’s fine! Dogs are high care pets, at least they should be.

Especially Goldens with their grooming needs. If you are happy with lil’ Mama chilling with you, that’s great. Sounds like she is a good pet fit for you. (As also a cat lover, I would suggest trying to get her inside all the time since kitties are healthier

and safer that way but that’s beside the point). Next time your MIL threatens you with a dog, turn around and offer to buy her a parrot or a horse and see what happens. Tell her that you just can’t understand why a pushy old lady wouldn’t love to have a boisterous parrot.

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The community saw the tradition as an odd hill to die on, emphasizing that pets are a personal choice, not a family mandate. Their support for the user’s blunt refusal reflects a shared frustration with pushy relatives, though some warned to keep an eye on the cat’s safety.

This cat-versus-dog drama shows how family traditions can collide with personal freedom. The user’s choice to embrace a stray cat over a mandated dog sparked a firestorm, but it also affirmed their right to live authentically. Whether you’re Team Cat or Team Dog, this story highlights the power of standing up for what feels right. Have you ever faced pressure to follow a family tradition you didn’t vibe with? Share your experiences below!

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