AITA for bluntly telling someone why their disabled son isn’t allowed in my muscle car?

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The roar of a brand-new Mustang filled the air as a 26-year-old driving instructor pulled into his workplace, eyes gleaming with pride. But the joyride hit a speed bump when his aunt spotted the sleek muscle car and begged for her 14-year-old disabled son to take a spin. Her relentless pressure, laced with guilt trips, pushed him to snap, laying out raw reasons for his refusal and sparking a family firestorm.

For this young man, the Mustang isn’t just a car—it’s a hard-earned reward after grueling 50-hour workweeks. His aunt’s refusal to accept “no” turned a shiny moment into a clash over boundaries and respect. This tale dives into the messy intersection of family expectations, personal property, and the courage to stand firm, even when it ruffles feathers.

‘AITA for bluntly telling someone why their disabled son isn’t allowed in my muscle car?’

I 26m work full-time as a driving instructor. Due to the location of my school, the bulk of the people I work with are from a rehab center next door. This has sadly led to my current situation with my aunt over her disabled son(14m) who attends a day program they host.

It started a month ago when I picked up the Mustang I had pre-ordered through a dealership. Upon seeing it she began to ask if I could take her son for a ride in it.. ​No matter how many times I would tell her no she refused to accept it and would try to guilt trip me.

Things peaked this week when I bluntly told her that I work fifty hours a week and don't have time for her s**t. When she kept pushing things I snapped and told her that her son is the last person I want near my car. I then went on to tell her all the reasons why he would never be allowed to ride in my car. These reasons are that he can't control his bladder/bowels and that his stimming may break things.. ​

When I told her of this it only made things worse as she only got more upset and pushy with me. I wound up having no choice but to cut contact with her however it only made things worse. I now have several other family members from her side coming after me over all of this. I do not believe that I am the a**hole here however I would like an outside opinion.. ​. AITA?

Protecting a prized possession can feel like guarding a piece of your soul, especially when family won’t take “no” for an answer. The OP’s clash with his aunt over her disabled son riding in his Mustang highlights a tug-of-war between personal boundaries and family expectations.

The OP’s concerns—potential damage from bladder/bowel issues or stimming—are practical, given his investment. His aunt’s persistence, though emotionally driven, disregarded his clear refusals, escalating the conflict.

This reflects a broader issue: navigating boundaries with family. A 2023 survey by Pew Research Center found 60% of adults report family conflicts over personal choices, often due to unclear boundaries. Dr. Nedra Glover Tawwab, a therapist specializing in relationships, notes, “Setting boundaries is about self-respect, not rejection.

Clear communication prevents resentment.” The OP’s bluntness, while harsh, stemmed from frustration. He could offer alternatives, like a ride in a rental car, while his aunt should respect his limits.

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See what others had to share with OP:

The Reddit crowd roared in like a pit crew, serving up opinions with the heat of a revving engine. Here’s what they had to say about this Mustang standoff.

_gadget_girl − NTA her son is not “owed” a ride in your new car. “No matter how many times I would tell her no she refused to accept it and would try to guilt trip me.” Sometimes people are just really dense and push and push and push until being overly direct and blunt just bubbles out.

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I’m also guessing that if her son damaged something she would also be the type to make excuses and not want to pay to have it fixed. Please stand firm on this. You have every right to want to protect an expensive item from getting damaged by a child who you don’t trust to not damage it. That’s reasonable.

One additional thought. Maybe you should have told her yes as long as she was willing to put a $2000 deposit down first to cover any potential damages. My guess is that would have shut her up quickly. We both know that she is well aware how capable he is of damaging things but will willingly minimize it when it doesn’t belong to her.

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KaliTheBlaze − Info: Does this kid have some kind of huge, violent flailing as a stim? I’m really baffled as to how his stimming would break something in the car. Edit: NTA. That sort of violent action isn’t easy to accommodate. I’m not used to seeing that sort of thing referred to as stimming, which is why I asked.

It’s more commonly called self-harm (for the head banging) or destructive behavior (for the kicking). Stimming is usually things like hand flapping, echolalia, rubbing interesting/enjoyable textures, etc. Driving someone, especially an older kid or adult, with those behaviors when you’re not accustomed to them could be dangerous in and of itself - distraction of the driver,

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risk of injury, maybe actually making contact with the driver or the gear shifter, etc. It’s less dangerous with smaller kids who have smaller bodies and are in car seats, because the area they can affect is smaller, especially with more restrictive/enclosing car seats, but you still have the risk of driver distraction.

almalauha − NTA. If he can't control his bladder/bowels and he makes uncontrollable/sudden movements, I can't imagine a sports car is comfortable for him to be in either. And you shouldn't have to accept the risk of p**s and s**t in your car. He might be very excited or even stressed out in your new car so who knows,

the risk of him having an accident might be higher, and in a car you can't just get up from the seat to go to a toilet or a changing facility, you might be miles away from a place where he could get changed.. NTA. Unfortunately an expensive sports car is not a suitable environment for your cousin.

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[Reddit User] − NTA + what the hell is up with these AH voters being suddenly okay with trampling over someone's 'No'?. After being told politely no several times? Here's an INFO for the thread: How many times do you need to tell someone NO before they get the hint? Once? Ten? A hundred? TIL No means, 'Pester the f**k out of me until I concede.' 🙄🙄🙄

Crazybutnotlazy1983 − To all those that say use pads under the child. I am the sole caregiver for my elderly mother. Padded underwear and pads on the seat are not 100% protection. After taking my mom to urgent care I spent a few hours getting my car cleaned out and it took a long time to get the smell out.

[Reddit User] − NTA. It’s your car and I am at a total loss why nobody seems to understand this.

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thxmeatcat − NTA no means no the first time. She can ask repeatedly or debate with herself all she wants but no means no regardless of your reason. Tell your family members they are welcome to drive the kid in their new car but you already made up your mind.

nychv − Tell her to rent a mustang from a car rental and you'll drive him in it and she'll be on the hook for any damage

entropic_apotheosis − NTA. She could have accepted the “No” at any point. To me it sounds like you escalated the No until you had to be a complete a**hole to get her to understand, she’s more of a jerk for not listening to No the first three times.

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If he’s unable to control his bowels and not wearing diapers that’s a valid concern. The “stimming” I have experience with a disordered nephew that was destructive until he was past 18, he was diagnosed first with adhd and oppositional defiant disorder, then at puberty with bipolar disorder.

He’s still compulsive and does things like rock himself really hard and will dent the wall with the back of the recliner, he’s obsessive and grabbed a drill one time and drilled holes in walls for no reason other than he had anxiety and felt like it. He fidgets and breaks things, he can’t control himself.

No one outside his own mother and father would have taken him for a ride in a brand new vehicle because he would have pressed every button and treated everything roughly. Aside from knowing the above, again it’s your right to say no and your family should understand the word the first time it’s said.

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[Reddit User] − NTA. The kid poops and pees at random. Hell no.

These takes pack a punch, but do they steer toward the truth? Family dynamics are never black-and-white, and Reddit’s hot takes might miss the nuance.

This Mustang melee shows how fast family ties can skid when boundaries are ignored. The OP’s fierce defense of his car clashed with his aunt’s emotional pleas, leaving a trail of hurt feelings and severed contact. Clear “no’s” and mutual respect could’ve kept this from spinning out. How would you handle a family member pushing past your limits for a prized possession? Share your stories and insights below!

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