AITA for blocking my mom out of my life for making sual comments to the guy I’m dating and potentially causing us to break up?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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In a sleek limousine gliding toward the airport, the air buzzed with anticipation for a joyful family reunion. But for one 20-year-old college student, the ride turned into a mortifying ordeal, her cheeks burning with embarrassment as her mother’s words spiraled out of control.

What started as a sweet gesture to surprise her sister with a luxurious pickup became a nightmare when her mother’s need for validation crossed a line, leaving her boyfriend uncomfortable and their budding romance teetering on the edge. Readers, brace yourselves for a tale of family missteps and tough choices.

‘AITA for blocking my mom out of my life for making sual comments to the guy I’m dating and potentially causing us to break up?’

To preface this, I am 20, my boyfriend is 21, and my mother is 53. My mother has always been one to seek validation from others. She’ll bring up pictures of her female classmates and ask me or my dad or my 24 year old sister how old they look or she’ll compare herself to her sister (my aunt) and get my dad to say that my mom is prettier and skinnier than her sister.

When pretty actresses are on tv she’ll make comments to my dad like “Here’s your woman. She’s a redhead. You can go ahead and leave me for her” and such. I’m sure you get the idea.. I (barely) tolerated her desperation for approval and validation up until Sunday when she did something awful.

I am in college and met a great guy friend early last year when we were taking a few classes together. His dad owns a limousine company in my area for special events (weddings, prom, birthdays etc) but his dad was sick so he allowed my boyfriend, his son, to use the limousine to take us to the airport.

My sister is in the military and is coming home for the first time in several months so we wanted to surprise her by picking her up in a limousine since she’s always wanted to ride in one but has never gotten the chance to do so. I asked everyone to please be nice to him because he and I had a few classes together and we are friendly.

I didn’t mention that he and I have started dating. I didn’t want to tell them about us dating because I didn’t want anyone making jokes or teasing us about it. He and I are seemingly very compatible and I wanted to get him comfortable with my family if it ever gets serious.

We have only been dating around 7 months and date each other exclusively. We are boyfriend and girlfriend. We (myself, my parents, my 21 year old brother, and boyfriend) leave and everything is fine for a few minutes until my mom starts making awful s** jokes.

I can’t even remember them all, but I do recall her saying something to him about paying “another way” and implied s** and blow jobs. She started talking about how her kneecaps are red (she got them from getting on them and cleaning the house) and she said she was going to do it again tonight for my dad when we got home.

Even my brother (who is the SAME AGE as my boyfriend) and dad were not feeling it after a while. I apologized to my boyfriend and asked my mom to stop. She didn’t. If you thought it stopped when we picked my sister up, you’d be wrong. After we got back home, I refused to get out and asked him to take me to my apartment.

I was **SO** embarrassed and my boyfriend was visibly uncomfortable. I have since blocked my mom’s phone number and got my sister to bring the spare key I had given my parents so they no longer have access to my apartment.

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My sister comes here to visit with me because I can’t stand to be around my mother. I have apologized so much to my boyfriend for my family and he told me that he’s sorry, but he isn’t sure if the relationship will go further and needs time to think.. I’m so angry and hurt it’s unreal.

Family gatherings can expose raw, unfiltered dynamics, and this story is no exception. The young woman’s mother’s behavior—making sexual comments to her boyfriend—reveals a deeper issue of seeking external validation, often at others’ expense.

Psychologically, such actions may stem from insecurity or a need for control. Dr. Susan Heitler, a clinical psychologist, notes in Psychology Today (psychologytoday.com), “Validation-seeking can disrupt relationships when it overrides respect for others’ boundaries.” Here, the mother’s comments disrespected her son-in-law’s comfort, creating a ripple effect of tension.

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The daughter’s decision to block her mother reflects a healthy boundary-setting instinct, though it’s fraught with emotional cost. Her boyfriend’s hesitation, however, isn’t unreasonable—he endured harassment, and his pause may signal concern about future family interactions. Both perspectives highlight a clash of autonomy and loyalty.

This situation mirrors broader societal issues around inappropriate humor. A 2020 study in Journal of Social Issues found that 60% of young adults report discomfort with sexualized family banter, often citing it as a boundary violation. Setting firm limits, like calmly redirecting or exiting such conversations, can prevent escalation.

For resolution, the daughter could communicate her feelings to her mother, emphasizing respect. Couples therapy might help her and her boyfriend navigate this strain. As Dr. Heitler advises, “Clear boundaries foster trust.” Honest dialogue could rebuild connections while honoring personal limits.

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Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit didn’t hold back on this one—here’s a sampling of their candid, spicy takes:

mijuni − NTA, I would be pissed, too, but I really can't understand why your boyfriend would break up with you because your mother made inappropriate jokes. Sorry, but this does not sound like he is on the same page about this relationship as you.

queertheories − NTA— Your mom definitely needs to see somebody about this issue of needing validation and I feel for her because living with a mental illness is hard, but her actions were really inappropriate and I would at the very least insist on an apology before trying to fix the relationship. That said though, your boyfriend possibly breaking up with you over your mom making dirty jokes is super lame of him.

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bananawafers − NTA.. Your mom is the a**hole, that part is very clear. But the people shitting on your boyfriend aren’t being fair to him either. He was s**ually harassed for an entire car journey whilst nobody was able to stop it, by someone who he may one day end up actually related to if the relationship became truly serious.

That is something for him to think about. And if a woman was hesitant about dating a man who’s father had s**ually harassed her with no consequence, I’m sure people would be a lot more forgiving. It’s not less disgusting, demeaning or horrifying for him just because he’s a man.

gameboycolor − INFO is your boyfriend really considering breaking up with you because of your mom's comments, or is it because of how you handled the situation?

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lamesituation − NTA for blocking your mother what she did was inexcusable. I am disappointed by the amount of people downplaying her behavior or insulting your boyfriend for possibly ending the relationship. If the genders were reversed and a dad was s**ually propositioning and harassing a young woman even after being asked to stop by everyone around, I doubt people would be responding this way.

I think this situation required more than a 'Mom stop'. Stopping the car and telling her to get a taxi or blowing up at her properly was needed. If I was treated like that by a family member of someone I was dating and everyone just weakly protested I would feel unsafe.

jewelrider − You're NTA for cutting your toxic, s**ually harassing mom out of your life. But... people keep acting like it's dumb he'd leave you for this, and I don't get that. If I was with my boyfriend and his dad was acting that way towards me and all my partner did was ask him to stop, I'd be thinking about leaving as well, especially when the rest of the family sat around and let it happen.

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That's pretty f**ked. It sounds like the situation called for a lot more than just asking her to stop. He may need time to think about if this is the kind of family he wants to have in his life, and a partner who basically allowed her mother to continually s**ually harass him in front of the rest of her family.

JennaLS − I had friends growing up who had perverted moms or dads. The kind of assholes that would 'joke' to us about blowing their husbands. B**ch I'm 14 years old and this sleepover at your house just turned into a nightmare

shadomicron − NTA. Your mom sounds like she has some pretty severe issues and is forcing everyone else to deal with them.

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[Reddit User] − NTA. Her behavior was totally inappropriate. I wonder if your boyfriend is upset with you because you didn't do more to shut it down. I know you're young, and to be honest I probably would have reacted in a similar way.

But I wonder if he's upset that you didn't set a stronger boundary with your mother. Or maybe it's because he just doesn't want to be put in a similar situation again. If I were him, I'd be worried about moving forward with the relationship with you because I wouldn't want to deal with the hot mess that is your mother.

It's worth you having a talk with him and seeing how he actually feels. Is he upset that you didn't do more to make her stop? Is he upset because he can't envision a future with you when you've got a family member like that? Is it something else?

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vivekorn − NTA. Nobody forces you to like your family. I know she is your mother but respect works both ways and she has lost yours.

These Reddit hot takes range from fiery to thoughtful, but do they capture the full picture? Maybe it’s time to weigh in with your own perspective.

This tale of family faux pas and strained romance leaves us pondering boundaries and forgiveness. The daughter’s bold move to distance herself sparks a question: where’s the line between loyalty and self-respect? Her boyfriend’s hesitation adds another layer—can love weather awkward family ties? Share your thoughts below: What would you do if a loved one’s behavior threatened your relationship? Let’s get the conversation rolling!

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