AITA for blasting a bar that confiscated my (legitimate) ID on Facebook & Twitter?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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Picture this: a lively Friday night, neon lights buzzing, and a group of friends ready to unwind at a local bar. But for one patron, the night took a sour turn when their valid ID was snatched by a skeptical bartender. The sting of disbelief and frustration set the stage for a social media storm that left the bar scrambling. This Reddit tale dives into a clash of fairness, pride, and online clout, sparking heated debates about right and wrong.

Our protagonist, a social media-savvy individual, faced a bartender’s refusal to accept their driver’s license due to a slimmer figure and a missing mustache. What followed was a public call-out, a tense negotiation, and a broken promise. Readers are left wondering: was this a justified stand or a step too far? Let’s unpack this barroom drama and see what it reveals about trust and accountability.

‘AITA for blasting a bar that confiscated my (legitimate) ID on Facebook & Twitter?’

The other night I went out to a bar with some buddies of mine. This was my first time visiting this bar. When I gave the bartender my driver’s license as ID he confiscated it, stating that he doesn’t think the person in the picture looks like me. It is an older photo of me.

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I went on a diet and am now about 30 pounds slimmer than I was in the picture, and no longer have the prominent moustache that I do in the photo. Additionally, for whatever reason (lighting maybe), I look a bit darker/tanner and more Hispanic (I’m half) in my ID photo than I usually appear.

But since my diet/moustache shaving, I’ve used that exact ID literally *hundreds* of times with no problem. Somehow, everyone prior has had the facial recognition to connect the man in the ID photo and myself. What’s this guy’s problem? I argued with the bartender for a long time, but he stood his ground and refused to give it back.

As my friends drank their beers, I (who am personally very active on social media) made a Facebook post and a Tweet about the incident, telling people how they stole my driver’s license, warning people not to go there, and calling them a “shady s**thole.” In both of my posts, I tagged the bar’s official Facebook page/Twitter handle so that when people search for the bar, my posts will pop up first thing.

I asked for the manager, and he sided with the bartender. I continued arguing, and told him about the posts. Finally, I gave the manager an ultimatum: if give me my ID back, I will delete my posts ASAP, will leave, and will put this incident and the drama associated with it 100% in the past. “I swear, give my ID back and it’ll be over.

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No hard feelings. I’ll be out of your hair.” I showed him on my phone the number of responses/likes I’d already received, emphasized how much it could damage his business. Eventually, he sighed and conceded. “If you promise you’ll get rid of those posts, and this whole thing is going to be over, then fine.”

I reaffirmed my promise, and he gave me back my ID finally, and apologized for what he said was “an unfortunate misunderstanding.” I could tell that he still didn’t believe my ID was legit, but didn’t want his bar to receive too much negative publicity online. I didn’t delete my posts, though.

By the time I woke up the next morning, they’d received a ton more attention, and I saw I’d received a private message on Facebook from the company’s page. “Hey there, bud,” it read. “Remember our agreement? You promised you’d remove these posts.

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I got you your ID back and we’re sorry about the incident, can you please make sure we put this in the past as we agreed upon?” I responded to his message, “F**k you,” and blocked him immediately afterwards. After that, I typed up a formal complaint about the incident and sent it to his chain manager (it’s part of a chain of 3 bars in my state). Was I an a**hole for this?

This barroom standoff is a classic case of miscommunication escalating into a public showdown. According to Psychology Today, “Trust is the cornerstone of any interaction, and misjudgments can spiral into conflict when assumptions override evidence.” The bartender’s doubt about the OP’s ID, though cautious, ignored the OP’s insistence and prior successful uses of the ID, creating a power imbalance. The OP’s social media posts, while honest, leaned into public shaming, amplifying the stakes.

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The OP’s frustration stemmed from feeling dismissed, while the bartender likely aimed to protect the bar from legal risks, as serving minors can lead to fines up to $7,000, per Alcohol Laws. Both sides had valid concerns, but the confiscation was a misstep—only law enforcement can legally seize IDs in most jurisdictions. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes, “Fairness requires mutual respect, not ultimatums.” The OP’s broken promise to delete posts further eroded trust, turning a resolvable issue into a feud.

This situation reflects broader issues of customer service and digital accountability. Businesses must verify IDs responsibly, while individuals wield significant power online. The OP could have called the police to resolve the issue legally, avoiding escalation. Moving forward, clear communication and de-escalation tactics, like offering alternative verification, could prevent such conflicts. Both parties should prioritize resolution over pride to maintain trust.

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Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, dishing out a mix of cheers and jeers like a rowdy pub crowd. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the comments, packed with support, shade, and a few raised eyebrows.

otterhouse5 − NTA - if they're going to unethically steal your valid ID, then it's reasonable to use dishonesty to get it back. That ID was rightfully yours, and the manager holding it hostage to get you to delete your honest social media posts to get him out,

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of a jam of his own creation has no right to expect you to uphold an agreement he forced you into under duress. I would even add to your original posts the fact that the restaurant tried to force you to delete the posts in order to get your ID back.

ifuckinhatereddit420 − NTA why is everyone freaking out about the promise? if you get kidnapped and you promise your kidnapper you won’t go to the police are you an a**hole for calling the cops? it was a valid and legal ID and they can’t just keep it because they think it’s fake. you should have told them to call the cops instead of making the promise though

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QueenMoogle − NTA. I'm almost positive that confiscating your ID is illegal. Only police officers have the right to confiscate and ID. I absolutely would not take those reviews down. Taking your ID can f**k your life up in a number of ways. Next time, call the cops tbh. What they did was not legal.

SherpaJones − ESH. Next time call the police and have them deal with the situation. If they thought you had fake ID that was what they should have done anyway.

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pyrobryan − NTA. ​ The whole 'I'll give you bad reviews on social media!!' threats are so f**king lame. I get 5 of those a day from people just trying to extort free s**t from our company. As soon as you said that, I instantly started disliking you. I wanted to say everybody sucks, but you have a valid complaint, it's just a pet peeve of mine I guess.. ​

I would just call the cops (non-emergency line) and tell them that the bar has confiscated your valid ID, they are refusing to return it to you, and you need an officer to come and get it back for you. If you involve the police, I doubt they will continue to doubt you.

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[Reddit User] − Okay, this is a complicated one. I’m going to say NTA, but we’re on the edge of everyone sucking here. They were reasonable in thinking your ID was fake. It would have been fine to deny you service. The legality of confiscating a fake ID is murky, but when you were insisting it was real, they should have given it back, certainly without needing a threat of a social media campaign.

We don’t know that much about your social media campaign, but truthful criticisms of a business are perfectly acceptable. You weren’t being an a**hole; this was honest. It was inappropriate for them to want you to take down your posts in exchange for the ID back. You did agree to do so, but still the exchange doesn’t feel proportionate to me:

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They returned your property to you, which they should have done anyway, in exchange for you dropping all criticism of their bad action. Seems like too good of a deal for them. You probably should have involved the police at that point instead of taking the deal, but you did say you would take the posts down.

However, it’s hard to blame you much for leaving the posts up when (apparently) you were clearly in the right and should not have had to take them down to get your ID back. You should be careful and measured in your criticism of them, but I think on balance leaving the posts up is okay.

[Reddit User] − NTA Confiscating an ID is illegal. It doesn't matter if they think it's fake, if it's found to be real, the bar will get fucked over.

Maybe_Not_The_Pope − YTA. If you have that much of a physical change, especially a prominent moustache, then get a new ID picture. They have every right to confiscate your ID if they think it's fake because serving someone who is underage is super illegal and can result in huge fines. And if you were underage and got caught you would be fined as well.

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Next time, call the cops, tell them what happened and they will come sort it out. And then in the end after talking about your 'horrible treatment' on facebook, you made an agreement and then didnt hold up your end of it. That's a**hole behavior all day because your posts aren't true anymore, you have your ID back.

murderousbudgie − NTA. There are several ways they could have verified the ID. Most bars have little scanners to detect fake licenses. Presumably you have a credit card or something with your name on it. They behaved inappropriately and people deserve to be warned.

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ky-el42 − ESH. They were assholes for confiscating your legitimate ID. I'm not sure why they would think it's on them to confiscate it instead of just turning you away.. You were an a**hole for posting on social media instead of calling the cops like a normal person, then an a**hole again for backing out of your deal.

These Redditors rallied behind the OP’s right to their ID but split on the broken promise. Some saw it as fair payback, others as a shady move. Do these hot takes capture the full picture, or are they just stirring the pot?

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This tale of IDs and online rants shows how quickly misunderstandings can spiral in the digital age. The OP’s fight to reclaim their license was understandable, but the broken promise and escalated complaint raise questions about fairness. Businesses and customers both navigate a tricky dance of trust and responsibility. What would you do if your valid ID was questioned and confiscated? Share your thoughts and experiences—how would you handle this barroom showdown?

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