AITA for being utterly repulsed by him starting a GoFundMe for his dog but not us, who are homeless?

Losing a job is hard. Losing it while pregnant, on medical bed rest, and watching your housing situation collapse at the same time is something else entirely. For one woman, the stress piled up fast as she and her husband went from an apartment to living in a van, then barely upgrading to a camper parked at a state park. Through it all, she felt invisible, exhausted, and physically unwell.

What finally broke her wasn’t the homelessness itself, or even the sleepless nights with a restless dog in cramped quarters. It was discovering that her husband, who refused help for them out of pride, had secretly accepted thousands of dollars in donations for his dog’s medical care. The reaction online was immediate and intense, with many questioning priorities, partnership, and what really matters when a baby is only weeks away.

AITA for being utterly repulsed by him starting a GoFundMe for his dog but not us, who are homeless?

Everything started unraveling as health issues and financial pressure collided all at once

26f. I lost my job in December. I was put on bed rest (pregnancy complications). My husband's job only paid $16 an hour and as luck would have it, our...

We couldn't afford it so we were evicted. I had been searching for WFH but of course I couldn't find anything. We had to vacate our place on February 4th...

Given that I was supposed to be on bed rest and me already blaming myself for this (due to me losing my job), it took a huge toll on my...

I never slept because I was always being walked on or her whining in my ear. Well, in May we were able to buy a camper with money he had...

Even offers of help were shut down, leaving resentment to quietly build

Keep in mind that my husband outright refused to ask for help during the entire time we were living out of our van. He only got a hotel for us...

So he refused all help that was offered to us- which made me grow resentful as it was because my ankles/legs had so much swelling and pain. But anyways, we...

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The breaking point came when a medical emergency shifted his focus completely

But his dog just needed a surgery done. She started getting lethargic randomly and turns out she had pancreatitis. The vet bills were on the ups of $2900.

He acted more upset about his dog than he did about the fact that his pregnant wife who was supposed to be on bed rest was sleeping out of a...

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He got online and immediately made a GoFundMe for his dog and accepted all the help he received. He pulled in more than $4k, which covered her surgeries and medications...

A dog he only had for a year took priority to his wife of 5 years and unborn child, in my eyes. Mind you, we are due to have this...

He didn't tell me about the GoFundMe account until after he raised everything he needed either. He just sat and cried with his dog, day in and day out,

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while I was struggling on my own without a simple "how are you feeling today?" So after he told me about the GoFundMe I lost it completely.

When she finally confronted him, everything spilled out at once

I told him he was a selfish f__king a__hole for quite literally putting his dog above me and his unborn baby. He says "I've already lost so much,

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I couldn't lose my dog too and you're f__king selfish for making me feel bad about it". AITA for feeling that this may be the deal breaker for me? Like.....

ETA: I wanted to start our own GoFundMe back about 2-3 weeks in to living out of the van because of how much pain I was in and being desperate...

He begged me not to because he didn't want to owe people money or have people view him as a scum bag. So out of respect for him, I put...

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So when I found out about the GoFundMe he made for his dog.. I seriously lost all respect for him.

At the core of this conflict is a painful imbalance in perceived priorities. The poster isn’t angry about the dog receiving medical care; she’s devastated that her suffering was minimized while compassion flowed freely in another direction. Feeling unseen during pregnancy, especially one complicated by health risks, can create lasting emotional wounds.

From the husband’s perspective, the dog may represent stability during chaos. According to relationship experts, people under extreme stress often cling to what feels controllable or emotionally safe. Still, coping mechanisms don’t excuse neglect. Dr. John Gottman of The Gottman Institute notes that emotional responsiveness is one of the strongest predictors of relationship health, especially during crises.

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Pregnancy and homelessness amplify vulnerability. Experts consistently emphasize that partners must actively check in, offer reassurance, and share burdens openly. Silence, avoidance, or unilateral decision-making often leads to resentment that’s difficult to repair. In this case, secrecy around the fundraiser likely intensified feelings of betrayal.

Practical steps forward could include temporary separation for safety, counseling if both parties are willing, and focusing on immediate stability for the baby. Honest conversations about values and priorities matter now more than ever. Without accountability and real change, emotional distance can quickly become permanent.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Many users supported the poster, urging her to put herself and the baby first

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momofeveryone5 − When is the baby due? Because I can't imagine getting through the newborn stage in a camper when I could be living with a relative in an apartment...

You seriously need to consider moving somewhere without him temporarily. Edit- yeah I get that campers can have AC and water and electricity.

However, with this summers record heat if that ac goes out they will be in a very hot tin can very quickly. Most likely they can't afford the cost of...

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And after giving birth, you're going to spend some time dealing with all the things coming out of your body. Worry that this flush might be the last of the...

And lastly, electricity. Yes they have electricity but how many lights do they actually have? Do they have enough amps to charge a cell phone, power a baby swing, keep...

And we haven't even touched on the space. My sister has a Cadillac of a camper. The thing even has an electric fire place. Outdoor pop out kitchen with a...

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That sucker even has a king size bed! You know what it doesn't have room for? All. The. Baby. Crap. Could you wedge a good amount in there?

Sure but good luck ever getting to it when you need bc you had to get creative with the way you put it all in there. Could this option work?

If she was in a healthy relationship then absolutely. But in this case, and the 1yp puppy, it's just a nightmare.

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CandyMiserable2548 − NTA. Run, don’t walk, to your mom’s house OP. Seriously. He’s shown you who he is and what his priorities are, and they’re not you.

You need real help and stability and he can’t provide it. Please protect yourself and your baby. Also tbh, if you make the go fund me it will do numbers....

nerfbst − I love my dog. LOVE. I would do anything for that stupid face. But you know who is even MORE IMPORTANT THAN MY VERY BELOVED DOG?

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My wife. You are NTA, and you very much need to do everything you can to get to a safe place for yourself and your imminent baby.

GonnaBeOverIt − NTA. The person you are having a child with really has some questionable ideas about what’s important.

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He will make a go fund me for his dog, but not his partner? You should start one for yourself so you can get the hell away from him.

United-Plum1671 − NTA But leave him. He showed you where his priorities were and they weren’t with you.

Others tried to explain his mindset while still acknowledging the hurt caused

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Even_Speech570 − Please go to your mother’s ASAP. You are at the last stages of pregnancy and it would be better to have something set up there in preparation for...

Find a lawyer and divorce that j__kass. He is a terrible husband and father to be and doesn’t deserve either of you. He was abusing you through n__lect. You deserve...

According_Ad6364 − NTA, I love dogs too but your children and spouse should always be priority number one. I saw you say that you can go to your moms, I...

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You can decide how you want to handle your husband later, for now your comfort and safety is the most important thing.

[Reddit User] − You're NTA for your feelings. I can understand his pov. Society loves animals and unfortunately, many tend to look down on the unhoused.

He probably feels really bad about not having a place to live, as well, and doesn't want to advertise it. He bought a camper. Maybe he feels that is enough...

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[Reddit User] − Dump this sack of s__t. Do you have ANY friends or family that can take you in? He has been a garbage husband and he will be...

A few reactions mixed concern with blunt, dark humor

ArkieRN − Ask him how much of a scum bag he will look like when his friends, family and acquaintances find out he started a go fund me for his...

Bethanyann1292 − Nta. You need to be putting your and the baby's health first right now so if you have a friend or relative to stay with I'd suggest it...

You really need to think about if you really want to stay in a relationship where your husband isn't willing to do all he can for you and your baby,...

If you decide you don't want to stay with him, I believe there's a legal part of reddit you can go to for help.

Willing-Round9851 − CPS wouldn’t be happy to find out the conditions you and the baby will be forced to live in because of your pathetic excuse of a husband. Time...

[Reddit User] − I think you should go stay with family while he lives in the van, finds a better job, and repriortizes his life. ..NTA OP

princessofperky − You need to make a plan to find a place to stay without him and the dog. Asap. He's shown you that the dog is more of a...

bbbriz − NTA. This man is a garbage partner, and is going to be an even worse dad. I think he probably resents you for being put on bedrest and...

Which is utter b__lshit and a scummy perspective on things. Run away from him and do not put him on the birth certificate. Give this child your last name.

This story struck a nerve because it touches on something deeply human: the need to feel chosen when life is at its hardest. While love for pets runs deep, many readers felt the line was crossed when emotional and financial support skipped a pregnant partner in crisis. The situation raises tough questions about priorities, pride, and partnership. If you were in her position, would this be the moment you walk away, or would you try to rebuild trust after such a breach?

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