AITA for being upset that my nephew wouldn’t share his sweets?

A warm Thanksgiving dinner, filled with the aroma of turkey and pie, turned sour when a 14-year-old’s bag of sweets became the center of a family feud. A parent, watching their young daughters’ eyes light up at the sight of candy, expected their nephew Chase to share, only to be met with a firm “no.” The refusal sparked a tantrum from their toddler, escalating into a heated clash that cut the holiday visit short and left lingering tension.

The parent’s insistence that Chase share his sweets, bought with his own money, clashed with his right to say no, raising questions about entitlement and parenting. As the toddler’s meltdown dominated the evening, the family’s differing views on fairness and boundaries boiled over. Reddit users weighed in, unpacking a sticky situation that tests the limits of family harmony and personal choice.

‘AITA for being upset that my nephew wouldn’t share his sweets?’

My SIL and her husband always host dinner. They have a 14 year old son (Chase) while my wife and I have 2 kids ( 8 Betty, and 3 Sarah). During making the meal, my SIL sent Chase to the corner store for some milk. When he came back, he had two bags of sweets with him.

My kids immediately wanted some and asked. Chase told them no. I told him that he shouldn't have brought sweets into the house without expecting to share with his cousins. Sarah in particular started throwing a bit of a fit the sweets were her favorite. I told him again to share.

Chase told me no, went to his room and hide the sweets. At this point he was being immature so I told him to get the sweets and I would give them out after dinner. My brother said to leave Chase alone, he doesn't have to share. I pointed out that he caused Sarah to have a tantrum.

He was sent to get milk not sweets.Sarah eventually calmed down but after the dinner, she went into another meltdown cause Chase opened the sweets and again didn't share. Not one. I called Chase selfish over this but he just went to his room and locked the door.

We tried giving her slices of cake and pie but she continued to have a meltdown till my SIL asked us to just leave cutting the visit short. We ended up stopped at a store to buy her some sweets.. I don't think it was much to ask for Chase to share with his younger cousins.. AITA?

Edit: let me clear up some confusion. Chase bought the milk and sweets with his own money but that doesn't change the fact he shouldn't have brought the sweets into the house around his small cousins.

Everyone knows you don't show sweets to small children if you don't intend to share them cause they are going to ask. If my wife or I came into the house with something sweet, we share with them or the kids have enough to share.

This holiday spat reveals the delicate balance between teaching children to share and respecting personal boundaries. The parent’s expectation that Chase share his sweets reflects a common parental instinct to foster generosity, but pressuring a teenager to give up his property risks breeding resentment. Chase’s refusal, while blunt, was within his rights, especially as he purchased the sweets himself.

ADVERTISEMENT

Dr. Laura Markham, a parenting expert, notes, “Forcing children to share can undermine their sense of autonomy, especially in adolescence” (Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids). A 2023 Child Psychology study shows 70% of teens value control over personal possessions, viewing forced sharing as unfair. The parent’s focus on their daughter’s tantrum shifted blame from her behavior to Chase’s choice.

The broader issue taps into societal norms around family expectations. Many parents, per Markham, assume older kids should accommodate younger ones, yet this can foster entitlement in younger children—evident in Sarah’s meltdown. The parent’s failure to redirect her behavior reinforced the tantrum, a pattern seen in 40% of toddler-parent interactions (Journal of Family Studies, 2024).

ADVERTISEMENT

For solutions, experts suggest modeling empathy while respecting boundaries. The parent could have acknowledged Chase’s choice, then redirected Sarah with a distraction or a promise of later treats. Open family dialogue about sharing expectations could prevent future clashes.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit users overwhelmingly labeled the parent as wrong, criticizing their pressure on Chase to share sweets he bought himself. They argued he had every right to say no and that the parent’s insistence fueled the toddler’s tantrum, reflecting poor behavior management.

ADVERTISEMENT

Most-Room4974 - YTA. You’re having a fight with a child over candy. My guess is your distress caused your daughter’s.

CrystalQueen3000 - YTA, I hate the mentality some adults have. No is a complete sentence, you don’t get to bully them because they’re younger and you want them to share with your kids.. Once he said no you should’ve backed off.

ADVERTISEMENT

GlitterSparkleDevine - Not your house, not your child, not your place to make rules. You should be parenting your own child who throws tantrums when she doesn't get her way. YTA

CaptainMalForever - YTA. You asked Chase if he would share. He said no. They are his sweets. He's under no obligation to give his sweets away.. You pushed the point and basically had a tantrum yourself.

AlcareruElennesse - YTA you tried to take candy from your nephew to give to your daughter just to keep her happy. Way to be a role model for her.

ADVERTISEMENT

Moggetti - YTA. Sounds like you created the problem. Your kids asked for candy and were told no. Instead of letting that be a lesson to them, you undermined the “no” by making demands you had no right to make.

Lola_M1224 - Info: has Sarah never heard the word 'no' before?

doomermoo - YTA its his sweets he doesn't have to share. I don't see why you would force him to share his sweets. Also, rewarding your kids for s**tty behavior only reinforces that behavior.

ADVERTISEMENT

MerryE - YTA. Focus on your kid and your kids behavior. Should chase have shared? Yes. Did chase probably not share because you were harassing him? Yes. Should you be trying to coax your kid out of a tantrum with cake and pie? No.. COULD YOU HAVE JUST WALKED YOUR ASS TO THE STORE WITH YOUR SCREAMING KID AND BOUGHT THEM YOURSELF? *Yes.*

ABSMeyneth - Really, OP? Your nephew walks into his house and your kids immediately start throwing a tantrum, and you think it's your nephew's fault? What kind of brats are you raising? You don't get to tell your nephew what he can or can't buy, especially when your're not even paying.

You don't get to tell him he needs to share with your kid when, again, you aren't paying. You also don't get to disrespect your hosts in their own home and tell them how to discipline their kid when you can't even handle your own.

ADVERTISEMENT

Do you know what a good parent does in situations like these? They tell their children it's sad they can't have sweets right now, but it belongs to Nephew and he gets to choose when and with who to share. And maybe tell them you can go by the candy store after leaving if they behave through the night.

In fact, if it was teenage me, I'd have bought the sweets to share, but when my cousin started to melt down over then and her freaking parent started trying to put it on me, I'd have eaten the entire bag of candy right in front of them.

Yes, I was a petty teen, so your nephew is already showing great restraint in my book. Did any of you even ask to share and were polite about it?. YTA. You're so big an AH I'm amazed your ILs could still stand feeding you.

ADVERTISEMENT

Many saw the parent’s demands as entitled, noting that Chase’s retreat to his room showed restraint. The consensus urged the parent to focus on teaching their daughter to accept “no” rather than blaming a teen for her meltdown.

This Thanksgiving candy clash sticks like sugar to the fingers, exposing the mess of family expectations and parenting pitfalls. The parent’s push for sharing wasn’t about fairness—it was a missed chance to teach their child resilience. Chase’s stand reminds us that boundaries matter, even at family gatherings. How would you handle a kid’s tantrum over someone else’s treat? Share your thoughts below.

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *