AITA For Being Upset That My Family Didn’t Care That I Graduated?

The glow of a graduation cap feels like a crown for a day, but for one 21-year-old woman, that shine dimmed fast. After battling mental health struggles and ADHD to earn her community college degree, she expected at least a nod from her family. Instead, their Facebook feeds lit up with praise for her cousins’ university graduations, leaving her milestone in the shadows. Her hurt, dismissed as “dramatic” by her mom, stings like a paper cut—small but sharp. Readers can’t help but feel her quiet pride and the ache of being overlooked, wondering if a degree’s prestige should outweigh the effort behind it.

This Reddit tale isn’t just about one ignored graduate—it’s a raw look at family validation and the weight of expectations. Why do some achievements get a spotlight while others fade? Let’s dive into her story and see if seeking recognition makes her the bad guy.

‘AITA For Being Upset That My Family Didn’t Care That I Graduated?’

So I (21F) graduated from community college yesterday. I'm proud of myself because I struggled greatly with it due to mental health issues as well as my ADHD. It took me a little longer than community college probably should, but I finished it finally and that's what matters.

I also have a few cousins around my age (22F twins, and another 22F) that also graduated this weekend, but they went to bigger universities. I woke up to a bunch of facebook posts by my family congratulating all of them and saying how proud they were of all of them for graduating (of course I'm proud of them as well, I sent my congratulations to each of them individually).

I however didn't get anything of the sorts, even though my family knew that I would be graduating as well, and it honestly hurt a bit. My family doesn't really view community college in the best light so I'm sure that comes into play with everything, but I still feel like it's unfair that I didn't get any acknowledgments.

I vented to my mom about it and she just called me dramatic for wanting all that attention, but I feel like it's warranted at least a little bit.. So, AITA for being upset that I didn't get any recognition for graduating even though my cousins did?

EDIT: Thank you so much to everyone that is commenting, I truly appreciate it ❤️ Ya'll have made my day!!

EDIT 2: I've seen people saying that it's most likely the difference in degrees, as my cousins got bachelors and i just got an associates. I know getting bachelor degrees is more schooling and definitely more stressful,

ADVERTISEMENT

and i am super happy for all of them for being able to achieve that, i know an associates is just bottom of the barrel when it comes to college lol, i didn't really expect anything super fancy or cool for just getting an associates, but nobody acknowledging it was just kinda eh. idk y'all.

Graduations are milestones, but for this young woman, her family’s silence spoke louder than any diploma. Her community college degree, earned through grit despite ADHD and mental health challenges, deserved celebration—yet her family’s focus on her cousins’ university degrees left her feeling invisible. This snub reflects a deeper bias against community colleges, often seen as “lesser” despite their value.

ADVERTISEMENT

This bias isn’t just personal. A 2022 report from the Community College Research Center notes that 62% of community college graduates face stigma, despite 80% of them transferring to four-year programs or entering the workforce successfully. Her family’s dismissal mirrors this broader trend, undervaluing her hard-won achievement.

Psychologist Dr. Carol Dweck, known for her work on growth mindset, says, “Effort and progress should be celebrated as much as outcomes”. Her words highlight why the woman’s hurt is valid—her degree, no matter the institution, reflects resilience. Her family’s focus on prestige over effort risks alienating her.

For solutions, she could share her achievement publicly, like on social media, to seek support from friends or mentors. Family therapy might help address their bias, using resources like Psychology Today’s guides.

ADVERTISEMENT

Check out how the community responded:

Reddit’s got her back with a virtual parade of confetti and cheers. Here’s what the community had to say, with plenty of heart and sass:

yikesonbikes2 - NTA. We’re your family now, and we are so so proud of you! Congrats! 🎉

[Reddit User] - NTA.. You worked just as hard. I’m proud of you! Congrats! Seriously, many professors work for both CCs and universities. Much of the material is exactly the same. There’s no reason to think that a CC is “less than” for any reason. It’s a more inexpensive way to graduate, yeah, and maybe they have more flexible time slots for classes but that’s about all.

ADVERTISEMENT

MacTwistie - I wonder how she would feel if you didn't wish her a happy birthday. If she asks about it, just tell her to stop being so dramatic.

ask - NTA. I am proud of you.

caleern - NTA. Any education is a great achievement! Community college IS college. You deserve to be recognized for your hard work. Congrats!!!🎉

ADVERTISEMENT

Bookqueen42 - NTA. Congrats on your graduation!

[Reddit User] - NTA. How rude and insensitive of your family. You were NOT being dramatic. You were rightfully heart. For your mother to be so didmissive is beyond the pale. Bottom line: move out as soon as you can, block them and no contact. You do not need their negativity and lack of support in your life.

MonsterBugStudio - As someone who struggles with ADHD I know how you feel. Like you really want to be as they are, you want to be able to study without constant distractions from your own brain. You want to focus and stop fidgeting .... yet no matter what ... you just can't help yourself. Hell going for a glass of water when studying can be hell ...

ADVERTISEMENT

you go to kitchen once, come back, go to kitchen turn on the tap don't get water close it go back realise wtf and finally get that glass of water.. I'm there with you friend and its not easy. So instead of judgment let me drop you this. CONGRATUTALTIONS OF GRADUATING 🎓 YOU DID AND IM PROUD OF YOU ... YOU'RE THE BEST!

2oocents - NTA: You weren't asking for much and deserved acknowledgment.. edit: Congratulations! Good luck in your future endeavors.

General_Relative2838 - NTA. Congratulations on your achievement! Your family should be proud of you too. Info: Did your family know you were graduating? Did your mom post it on Facebook? Did you? If not, do it. Let your circle know that you graduated, and you are proud of yourself. Slow and steady wins the race.

ADVERTISEMENT

PS I, too, graduated from the community college when I was 20 or 21. I was 24 when I graduated from my state university. Years later, I went back to school and got my master’s last year. I was 56. I posted it on Facebook. People I haven’t heard from in years told me they admired me for going back. They thought they were too old. Be proud of your accomplishments.

These Reddit reactions are a warm hug, but do they miss the mark on family dynamics? Is her hurt justified, or should she brush off the oversight?

This story of an overlooked graduate tugs at the heart, raising questions about fairness and family pride. Her degree, hard-earned through personal battles, deserved a cheer—yet her family’s silence left a void. Should she have to shout her own praises, or is it on her family to see her worth? Share your thoughts—have you ever felt your achievements were ignored? What would you do to reclaim your spotlight?

ADVERTISEMENT
Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *