AITA for being upset at my parents who “forgot” me when we ate out?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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A family dinner meant to celebrate togetherness turned into a sting of abandonment for a 26-year-old woman left behind in a bustling restaurant parking lot. Picture the scene: a lively eatery, plates cleared, and a quick work call pulling her away—only to return and find her family vanished, chasing ice cream for her 7-year-old cousin. This isn’t the first slight; her parents skipped her college graduation for the same cousin’s piano recital. The hurt runs deep, stirring questions of favoritism and family priorities that hit home for anyone who’s felt overlooked.

Her anger erupted, not just at being stranded, but at a pattern of being sidelined for a younger cousin’s whims. It’s a story that tugs at the heart, blending pride in personal milestones with the sting of being an afterthought. Readers will feel the burn of her frustration and wonder: how do you cope when family puts you last?

‘AITA for being upset at my parents who “forgot” me when we ate out?’

So I have a cousin that is about 7 that my extended family on my mother’s side doted on, since she is the youngest, and my uncle had her rather late in life when he is in his late 40s.

I was about 19 when she was born, so there is a very large age gap between us, so I tend to treat her more as my niece than as my cousin, as she’s about the age of my nieces and nephews (on my dad’s side).

Because my cousin is the youngest, our families tend to let her get away with a lot of stuff that they wouldn’t have let me get away with when I was her age. I’m probably the only one in my family who even reprimanded her for doing something she shouldn’t—like pinching their family helper or using my house’s sofa as her personal see saw.

So I entered college late at 22, so I was so proud when I was able to graduate college with high honours four years after that, and naturally wanted my parents there. HOWEVER, apparently, my cousin has this “very important piano recital” on my graduation day, and she absolutely wanted both my parents there along with HERS.

I thought my parents would at least attend my college graduation, but nooooo. Apparently, their own niece’s piano recital is more important than their own daughter’s graduation. My older brother and his then girlfriend were the ones to attend my graduation.. But fine, I’m an adult, and I have my brother and his girlfriend there.

So no loss. Recently, due to COVID restrictions being lifted in my country, and we are able to dine out again, both our families decided to have a night out for dinner. When we were leaving the restaurant, I however got a phone call from work, and has to step away to answer it whilst my dad was footing the bill due to the high noise level.

When I finally finished it and went back to where my family were, they were nowhere in sight. Calls to their phones went unanswered. At this point, I am starting to panic, as I am stranded in the middle of nowhere with just my phone. I made multiple tries to both my parents’ phones, but they didn’t answer. Left with no other choice, I had to hail the equivalent of Uber in my country and went back home.

Fast forward a few hours (10PM). Both my parents and my uncle’s family enter my house, laughing about something. My uncle was going “where were you? We got tired of waiting, so we just left”, and I told them the same thing I did earlier—that I had to answer a phone call and counter with where were they and why didn’t they answer their phones.. My mom then answered with, “Oh, wanted an ice cream. So we went off.”

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I totally blew up at that point, saying that they “forgot” their own daughter because their niece wanted an ice cream?! In the heat of anger, I might have said more than I ought to. Now, my parents and even my uncle’s family are both mad at me for being this upset because they just wanted to get my cousin an ice cream, saying that I’m an adult, and I can always go home by myself. It’s not that which I’m upset about.. AITA?

This tale of being “forgotten” screams family favoritism gone wrong. Dr. Ellen Weber Libby, a family therapist, notes, “When parents consistently prioritize one child, it can erode trust and self-worth in others” (Psychology Today). The woman’s parents choosing their niece’s recital over her graduation and leaving her at a restaurant for ice cream signal a skewed sense of priority. Her anger is valid—being sidelined for a 7-year-old’s whims isn’t just thoughtless; it’s dismissive of her as an adult daughter.

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Favoritism in families is common, with studies showing 70% of parents admit to favoring one child at times (Journal of Marriage and Family). Here, the focus on the cousin risks alienating the woman, whose milestones deserve equal celebration. The parents’ casual dismissal—“you’re an adult, you can handle it”—ignores the emotional impact of their actions.

Dr. Libby suggests open communication to address favoritism. The woman could calmly express how their actions make her feel undervalued, using specific examples like the graduation and restaurant incidents. Parents should be encouraged to balance attention, perhaps by setting boundaries with the cousin’s family. Family therapy, as offered by resources like American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, could help realign priorities. For now, the woman might focus on her supportive brother and his partner, building a circle that values her achievements.

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Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

The Reddit gang brought the heat, dishing out support with a side of outrage for this family fiasco. Here’s the raw scoop from the crowd:

bad-luck-psyduck − NTA your parents are being terrible. Honestly if my parents skipped my college graduation for an effing piano recital for a 7 year old I would probably go NC. Leaving you at a restaurant like that is really s**tty. Do you even want people who care so little about you in your life?

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rak1882 − NTA My cousin got MARRIED the same weekend I got graduated college and guess what? my grandparents made sure one of them was at each event. And no offense to your 7 yr old cousin- and all offense to her parents and your parents- but a piano recital (unless it's at the equivalent of your debut at carnegie hall) is not the equivalent of a wedding or a college graduation.

It doesn't take 5 minutes to at least text you and say 'hey, where are you?' 'hey. we're leaving to get ice cream from X.' The fact that they couldn't both to do that says a LOT. In a decade, both sets of adults are going to wonder why you and your sibling(s) have little to do with them and why your cousin is so spoiled. And they'll only have themselves to blame.

[Reddit User] − NTA!!!! UR OWN GRADUATION?!!! nah I would've went nc with them THE AUDACITY

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Unggue_Pot − NTA. Wow. Next time your parents call and ask you to do something tell them to ask your cousin.

Piper6728 − NTA but your parents certainly are. I'd honestly go NC for a while if possible

[Reddit User] − NTA. Your parents skipping your graduation for their niece's piano recital is b**lshit. You mentioned in a comment your brother is low contact with them. I recommend you follow suit and you and your brother and SIL can spend holidays together etc. Let your parents figure it out on their own when they're old and need help.

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ArcheryOnThursday − NTA. F**king WOW. Your family is incredibly lacking in awareness or basic courtesy. They didn't know where you went so they left??? They could have at least called or texted to find out where you were! Next time if you have a call, go sit in their car so they can't ditch you.

physhfood − NTA I think it’s time to start distancing yourself from your family. This doesn’t sound like a healthy environment for you and you deserve to be around people who want to be around you.

[Reddit User] − NTA your parents suck. Who skips a college graduation for a kids recital? Have you considered going LC? None of these people sound kind or decent.

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Algebralovr − NTA. They left you because the child wanted ice cream! WTF They ditched your college graduation because the niece had a piano recital? At her age it is NOT “very important”. She is a child.. Im sorry you have crappy parents

These Redditors were fired up, slamming the parents’ neglect and cheering the woman’s right to be upset. Some suggested cutting contact, while others saw the cousin’s spoiling as a recipe for trouble. But do these spicy takes capture the whole story, or are they just fanning the flames?

This story is a gut-punch reminder that family love should lift everyone up, not leave some behind. The woman’s hurt isn’t just about a missed ride home—it’s about years of being outshined by a cousin’s whims. Her parents’ choices sting, but her voice deserves to be heard. Readers, have you ever felt overlooked by family? How do you handle favoritism that leaves you in the cold? Share your stories below—what would you do if your milestones were sidelined?

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