AITA for being so upset with my bridesmaids behaviour on my wedding day?

The champagne fizzed in delicate flutes, and the penthouse glowed with morning light, a perfect stage for a bride’s dream day. But as laughter filled the air, one bridesmaid’s bombshell stole the show. Laura, the life of every party, dropped a pregnancy announcement that turned the bride’s carefully planned wedding into a backdrop for her own spotlight. The bride’s joy fizzled into frustration—can you blame her?

This tale of wedding woes, plucked from Reddit’s AITA, captures a clash of celebration and self-centeredness. Was the bride a “spoiled brat” for feeling upstaged, or was Laura’s behavior a breach of bridal etiquette? Let’s dive into the drama, unpack the emotions, and see what experts and Redditors think about this matrimonial misstep.

‘AITA for being so upset with my bridesmaids behaviour on my wedding day?’

I got married two weekends ago. I asked my three best friends Anna, Kelly and Laura to be my bridesmaids 2 years before the wedding and found them very helpful when planning. For the morning of my wedding I hired a fancy penthouse apartment for myself and the bridesmaids to get ready.

We had champagne and as we were pouring it out, Laura said none for her. Now Laura is the biggest party animal of us all so naturally we questioned why she wasn’t drinking. Laura then told us she was pregnant. Of course I was happy for her but obviously the focus was then on Laura and her pregnancy and not us getting ready for my wedding, something I had been planning for 2 years.

Anyway. We all got ready and headed to the venue. The photographer kept us outside the venue for a short while so he could do posed photos with myself and the bridesmaids. I was holding my bouquet, Anna and Kelly were holding theirs but Laura placed hers on the floor and was standing with her hands cradling her stomach as if to emphasise her bump (which wasn’t noticeable as she’s barely 12 weeks).

The photographer asked her to pick her flowers up so all of us were holding our bouquets and Laura refused and said “oh it’s ok I’d prefer to stand like this” and carried on cradling her stomach. So now those photos just look weird. The rest of the day went smoothly until it came to the speeches.

As Laura was my oldest friend naturally I asked her to say a few words. She stood up and said some nice words, then ended her speech with “and I’m so excited to announce that as Bride’s best friend, I’d like her to be an honorary aunt to my baby who is due summer 2020!”.

With her being an old family friend of course my family were over the moon and again the attention was on her and her pregnancy and not me and my husband. I felt so upset on my wedding day and haven’t really spoke to Laura much since. She has since sent me a text saying I’m acting like a spoiled brat and the world doesn’t revolve around me.. AITA for being upset and distancing myself?

Weddings are a delicate dance of emotions, and Laura’s pregnancy reveal stepped on the bride’s toes. According to etiquette expert Elaine Swann, “A wedding is the couple’s day to shine. Announcements like engagements or pregnancies should wait unless the couple explicitly agrees” (The Knot, 2019). Laura’s actions, from cradling her barely-there bump to hijacking her speech, veered into attention-seeking territory.

The bride’s frustration stems from unmet expectations. She envisioned a day centered on her union, but Laura’s choices—refusing to hold her bouquet, announcing her baby to the crowd—shifted the narrative. Psychologically, this can feel like a betrayal, especially when trust in a close friend falters. Dr. John Gottman’s research on relationships highlights how small actions, like ignoring a partner’s needs, erode connection (Gottman Institute). Laura’s dismissal of the bride’s feelings via text only deepened the rift.

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This saga reflects a broader social issue: navigating personal milestones in shared spaces. A 2021 survey by WeddingWire found 68% of couples felt stressed by guests’ unexpected behaviors at weddings. Laura could have shared her news privately, preserving the bride’s moment. Instead, her public displays sparked tension.

For resolution, the bride might express her hurt calmly, focusing on how Laura’s actions impacted her day. If Laura doubles down, setting boundaries may protect the bride’s peace. Swann suggests, “Clear communication and mutual respect prevent wedding-day drama.” Both parties could learn from this to rebuild—or respectfully part ways.

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These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit didn’t hold back on this one, serving up a buffet of spicy takes. Here’s what the community had to say about Laura’s wedding-day antics:

knifewrenchhh − NTA. At first it seemed innocuous enough because you asked about her not drinking, but she spent the rest of the day deliberately drawing attention to her pregnancy and that’s rude af. You have every right to be upset and she owes you an apology, most specifically for using her toast to make an announcement to your entire wedding reception.

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[Reddit User] − The photographer asked her to pick her flowers up so all of us were holding our bouquets and Laura refused and said “oh it’s ok I’d prefer to stand like this” Wtf is Laura's problem? I can't believe you held your tongue. I am flabbergasted at the entitlement of flat-out refusing to hold flowers in someone else's wedding photo.

It's not about how you *prefer* to stand, LAURA. and I’m so excited to announce that as Bride’s best friend, I’d like her to be an honorary aunt to my baby who is due summer 2020! My god, the tackiness is stunning. EVERYBODY IN THE WORLD knows you don't announce your pregnancy at someone else's wedding!

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Did Laura grow up in the woods or is she just that self-centered? She has since sent me a text saying I’m acting like a spoiled brat and **the world doesn’t revolve around me** This is just...stunning. If there were a feature to punch someone through a phone screen, that would have been the ultimate time to use it.. NTA and I truly can't believe people like this exist.

Virulencer − NTA. She has since sent me a text saying I’m acting like a spoiled brat and the world doesn’t revolve around me. Nor does it revolve around her and her baby. This is totally inappropriate of her to do. I can understand telling you the morning of your wedding, but including it in her speech was way over the top.

Allaboutbird − NTA. Normally I roll my eyes at the 'everything is about me' bridezilla attitude but this woman really went above and beyond to steal your thunder. She could have announced her pregnancy any other day.

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gooberfaced − NTA but these were your wedding photos so you should have said something.. Or done a set minus her.. You needed to speak up. “and I’m so excited to announce that as Bride’s best friend, I’d like her to be an honorary aunt to my baby who is due summer 2020!”. She's clueless and you have every reason to be upset with her.

She has since sent me a text saying I’m acting like a spoiled brat and the world doesn’t revolve around me. 'Sorry Laura but it was my wedding day and you intentionally stole my glory. OF COURSE I'm upset. If you don't get that too bad but I'm pissed and it's not going away anytime soon.'. Then forget her sorry ass.

IridianRaingem − NTA. On this one day, the world DOES revolve around you. The entire day is about the people getting married. Your friend had an a**hole day. It’s fine she said something to you guys because you asked why she wasn’t drinking. Then she tried to make her pregnancy the center of the whole day and even ruined your wedding photos. That’s just not cool.

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Then to announce it at the wedding.... There are just some things you don’t do at someone’s wedding.. 1. Wear a wedding dress. 2. Propose. 3. Share a pregnancy 4. Anything else that takes the attention of the bride and groom on this one day. This one at they are paying for. (There’s always exceptions, but in general most things can wait until the end of the night or another day.)

[Reddit User] − She literally cradled a non-existent bump to ruin your wedding pictures, but *you're* the spoiled brat? She turned her toast *to you* into a pregnancy announcement *for her* on your wedding day, but *you're* the one who thinks the world revolves around you?

What in the entitled, self-centered hell? NTA. The fact that she didn't even attempt to apologize and instead immediately jumped to insulting you implies that she knows exactly what she did and she doesn't care. She owes you an apology.

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carolinemathildes − NTA. I was fine with her telling you she was pregnant, because you asked why she wasn’t drinking and I know if she said “oh, just because!” someone would either guess, or push her until she said it anyway. But the rest of the stuff is awful.

She needs to learn some manners. Those photos sound like they’re going to turn out ugly as heck, sorry to say, and she was absolutely wrong to actually make an announcement in her speech. I would be done with her as a friend and tell her to take the “honorary aunt-ship” and stuff it.

should_be_writing1 − NTA If it had just been her telling you guys that she was pregnant and you were mad about that, then you would have been an a**hole, but her being weird in the pictures and announcing it during her speech are way over the line. It’s also weird as f**k that she tried to do bump photos when (I assume) she wasn’t really showing?

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BasilMaisel − NTA. One of my bridesmaids had a similar situation - a mutual friend called her out for not drinking at our rehearsal dinner. She's a terrible liar, so she told those sitting near her about the pregnancy. She felt terrible and was worried about ruining my wedding.

Meanwhile, I was clueless. I sort of noticed her not drinking while we were getting ready, but I also had several bridesmaids that aren't into drinking and only had a small glass. I only heard the day after our wedding, and I felt terrible that I hadn't congratulated her!

What I'm trying to say is: Your friend sucks. If she really cared, she wouldn't have made a big deal about poses, she wouldn't have talked about it in her speech, and she would have given you a head's up that she would not be drinking so you could keep the secret between the two of you.

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And there you have it—Redditors calling Laura’s moves tacky, entitled, and downright clueless. But do these fiery opinions hold up in the real world, or is the internet just loving the drama?

This wedding-day drama leaves us pondering: where’s the line between sharing joy and stealing the show? The bride’s hurt is valid, but Laura’s excitement, however poorly timed, wasn’t malicious. Maybe a heart-to-heart could mend this friendship—or maybe it’s time to let it fade like confetti. What would you do if your big moment was upstaged? Share your thoughts below—have you ever navigated a similar spotlight steal?

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