AITA for being sad and angry at the way my parents treat me in comparison to my sisters?

A pang of exclusion stings sharper than any wound, especially when it comes from family. In a cozy apartment far from home, a 32-year-old sits, wrestling with a decade of perceived slights from their parents. The sting of being overlooked while their sisters bask in parental generosity—cars, house deposits, and dream trips—cuts deep. It’s not about the money; it’s the sinking realization of being the odd one out in their own family.

This tale of unequal treatment unfolds with raw emotion, pulling readers into a relatable struggle. The hurt of favoritism, paired with dismissive responses from parents, paints a vivid picture of a son seeking fairness. As the story unravels, it invites us to ponder: how does a family justify such stark differences in love and support?

‘AITA for being sad and angry at the way my parents treat me in comparison to my sisters?’

I am 32. My sister are 29 and 24. Over the past decade or so, my parents have always seemed to treat me differently to my sisters. To give you an example:. \- They paid for both my sisters to do their driving lessons and test. \- They paid for multiple used cars for my sisters over the years. \- They paid for the deposit on a house for one sister.

This year, they paid for everybody to go to New York City...except for me. I got a £30 coffee machine that I had to share with my (now ex) girlfriend. She kept the coffee machine (not that it matters, just hilarious!) It genuinely upsets me, because I have never been given the same stuff. I had to pay for my driving lessons and tests out of my pocket.

I was given a car by my uncle, but my parents thought I was too slow to pay for all my tests that it got scrapped as it was taking up space (it was on its last legs, to be fair!). I would never be able to afford the deposit on a house. I mean, my sister wouldn't have been able to anyway, so she got lucky there.

She has now sold that home and was allowed to keep the cash from the deposit, while moving back in with my parents. I asked to borrow £450 to kit out my new apartment, but I was told 'no', even though I offered to pay it back within 2-months. This was harsh, since I spent my 18-22 years paying for my parents for stuff.

Like, helping them afford holidays as I had cash sitting around from my job (I work freelance). Now, I do want to point out that NOW I live in a separate country to my family. I did not for all of this, apart from the New York thing. I do not live far enough away that I wouldn't be able to come home, though (think 1.5-hour flight).

In the 7-years I have lived here, not one person has come to visit me. They will gladly drive 5-6 hours to stay at my sister's overnight, though (it would actually be cheaper to come here and stay here, despite it being a separate country!)

I don't get why they are treating me like this. Apparently, my complaining about this gets to the point where they try to take me to a mental health specialist as feeling 'victimised' indicates mental health issues.

Whenever I bring it up, they just tell me to shut up. It genuinely irks me. It isn't about the money. I don't care about money. It is the fact that I am not being given the same opportunities. AITA for complaining? My parents seem to think I am.

Parental favoritism can fracture family bonds like a slow, unrelenting quake. The OP’s story, steeped in unequal treatment, reflects a broader issue of perceived bias in families. The contrast is stark: sisters receive cars, house deposits, and trips, while the OP gets a shared coffee machine. This disparity fuels resentment, and the parents’ dismissal—suggesting mental health issues—only deepens the wound.

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Dr. Ellen Weber, a family therapist, notes in Family Psychology , “Favoritism creates a hierarchy that erodes trust and self-worth.” The OP’s parents may not see their actions as biased, perhaps rationalizing it as practical support for daughters over a son. Yet, this overlooks the emotional toll, as the OP’s contributions—like funding family holidays—go unreciprocated.

This issue mirrors broader family dynamics, where 32% of adults report feeling less favored than siblings, per a 2023 Journal of Family Studies study . The OP’s isolation, living abroad with no visits, amplifies this. Sarcasm aside, it’s hard to ignore the parents’ pattern of prioritizing convenience over fairness.

To navigate this, the OP could write a calm, clear letter outlining specific grievances, as suggested by Reddit users. Dr. Weber advises, “Open communication, though tough, can clarify intentions.” If met with dismissal, setting boundaries—like limiting contact—may protect the OP’s emotional health. Families thrive on equity, not favoritism.

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Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a spicy mix of empathy and tough love. Their takes range from fiery support to practical advice, with a dash of humor to lighten the mood. Here’s what the crowd had to say:

[Reddit User] − NTA. This is blatantly unfair treatment and then for them to gaslight you into thinking you need mental help is disgusting. Your family sucks, OP.

JackDallas − It is the fact that I am not being given the same opportunities. AITA for complaining? My parents seem to think I am.. After you have ~~emerished~~ immersed your self into r/raisedbynarcissists. You can start a FOC Family of Choice, because you ain't the Golden Child.. So forget them, make a new family and stop bitching.. Ok Bro..

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lilhazeleyedgeo − NTA, and if your family really feels therapy is needed why don't you go in a group? They can hear it themselves by professional. Sorry this is happening to you!

[Reddit User] − Nta. Your parents clearly favor your sisters, I would limit how much time you send with them

liquiddenim − NTA. I’m the middle child of 7 and our parents have always given us all the same opportunities. Now, for example, there was a time when my parents got both of my older sisters new cars after already buying them both two cars prior and that ultimately made it take longer to get my car.

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But nevertheless, I was still given a car. So my point is, parents make it work if they want to. From what was said, I can’t think of a reason why they would treat you differently but they obviously are and you’re not TA for realizing that and complaining about it

ICWhatsNUrP − NTA. This is blatant favoritism. Others have suggested writing them a letter, which I agree with. After that? Just drop the rope. Don't initiate contact, don't try and hold the relationship together, just step back and see what they do. Let their actions speak for themselves.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Tell your parents how you feel, if they won't let you, send them a letter, sometimes relatives (especially parents), can be rather ignorant on how they treat one of their children over the other.

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Sometimes they know as well, but don't realize what they're doing is hurting the person (or as harsh as it is, don't care).. So yeah, sit them down and talk to them, find out why they treat you so differently. Talk to your sister too, tell her how you're feeling, she might be more open to talk about it then your parents.

cautiousoptimzm − INFO; you say this began about ten years ago - is there some event or change that happened around that time? Was everything fairly even up until that point? Also, are you male?

shawarma_monster − NTA. your parents are very clearly playing favorites. im so sorry you have to go through this!

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whynousernamelef − Nta. My mother was the similar, treated my brother and older sister like gods while me and younger sister were trash. I don't even know why? One thing I do know is that it's not your fault, their inability to show you love and kindness is their problem. You will not have done anything to cause this or deserve it.

Took me a long time to realise that there was something wrong with my mom, not me. Were they very young when they had you? A girl I know is in a similar situation and it seems to be that her mother resents her for 'ruining her life' as she was only 18 when she was born.

Her Children born later are loved and cherished. Again it's not her fault its the mom who is messed up. You will have to just try get past this, build your own life and be thankful that you won't owe them anything. Find people who love you for who you are and build your own family.

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These Redditors rally behind the OP, slamming the parents’ favoritism while urging action. Some see gaslighting in the mental health jab; others suggest cutting ties. But do these hot takes capture the full story, or are they just fanning the flames?

This story of unequal treatment hits a nerve, revealing the quiet pain of feeling sidelined in one’s own family. The OP’s struggle invites reflection on fairness, love, and the courage to confront tough truths. Families aren’t perfect, but they should strive for balance. Readers, what would you do if you felt overshadowed by siblings in your family’s eyes? Share your thoughts and experiences below.

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