AITA for being honest with my friend about how I’m losing weight?

One guy decided to turn things around after packing on 30 pounds over a year from takeout and drinks. He cleaned up his diet, ditched soda, got back into running, and dropped down to 143 pounds since January—with a goal of hitting 130 again by summer. The secret weapon helping him curb late-night hunger? Picking up smoking again, just one cigarette a day as an appetite suppressant.

A close friend wouldn’t let up asking how he was doing it, even accusing him of taking some kind of pill. He kept it vague at first, focusing on food and exercise, but she kept pushing. When he finally came clean about the nicotine, she looked disappointed and dipped out of the call soon after. Turns out she has a past eating disorder tied to the exact same habit—and now she’s upset, telling mutual friends he triggered her. The group is split: half say he’s not at fault since he didn’t know, the other half think he should’ve been more careful because weight talk can be sensitive, especially with women.

‘AITA for being honest with my friend about how I’m losing weight?’

The weight journey started with a noticeable gain that the poster wanted to reverse through healthier habits:

Then came the persistent questioning from his friend that led to the uncomfortable reveal:

He later added details to clear up assumptions about his eating:

Honesty in friendship is tricky when personal habits intersect with someone else’s past trauma. The poster answered a direct, repeated question—he didn’t volunteer the information or recommend the method. Not knowing about her eating disorder history meant he couldn’t foresee the trigger.

That said, weight-loss conversations can carry hidden landmines, especially in groups where body image struggles are common. Some people probe out of curiosity or comparison, not realizing (or admitting) it might stir their own issues. Pushing past initial reluctance can feel intrusive on both sides.

Recovery from eating disorders often involves owning one’s triggers and boundaries. Experts like those from the National Eating Disorders Association stress that while others should be mindful, the person in recovery ultimately manages what topics they engage in.

A balanced path forward: a private check-in acknowledging her reaction without taking full blame, while gently noting the pressure to share. Long-term, swapping nicotine for healthier evening options (like herbal tea or protein snacks) protects his own health too.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Online opinions landed heavily on “not the asshole,” emphasizing personal responsibility and the consequences of prying:

Most said she brought it on herself by insisting, and he couldn’t have known her history.

Others pointed out that almost any weight-loss detail could have been triggering, and worried about the smoking habit itself.

Weight loss talk is loaded for a lot of people, yet curiosity often wins out. When someone keeps pressing for details, they’re signing up for whatever answer comes—even if it stings.

At the core, this is about boundaries, triggers, and who owns what. Have you ever felt pressured to share something personal only for it to backfire? Or been on the other side, asking questions that hit a nerve you didn’t see coming? What does that teach us about curiosity versus caution in close friendships? Sound off below.