AITA for being honest when a business owner asked me why my family was not going to her restaurant anymore?

In a small town where everyone knows your order by heart, a beloved restaurant became a second home for one family—until the food started tasting like a shadow of its former glory. Picture a cozy diner, once buzzing with laughter and clinking plates, now eerily quiet as to-go bags replace warm booths. For one Redditor, a nurse juggling long shifts and family life, the joy of picking up a familiar chicken dish for her son faded when frozen fillets sneaked onto the menu.

When the restaurant’s owner cornered her in a grocery aisle, pleading for answers about their absence, the truth slipped out: the food just wasn’t the same. Her honesty sparked a tense exchange, leaving her wondering if kindness should’ve trumped candor. Readers feel her tug-of-war—supporting a struggling local business versus craving a meal worth the price. Was she wrong to speak up, or did her feedback serve a greater good?

‘AITA for being honest when a business owner asked me why my family was not going to her restaurant anymore?’

My family and I live pretty close to what used to be one of our favorite restaurants. I'd say we have either eaten there or gotten to-go at least every other week for the last few years. We're definitely regulars, and we know the owners and most of the staff.

When the shelter-in-place orders happened in our state, about 2 months ago, the restaurant obviously suffered. They seem to make a good chunk of their money from dine-in and they had to let all of their part-timers go.

After getting a to-go order we realized they had also obviously replaced some of their ingredients for cheaper substitutes. For example, the chicken dish my son usually gets with fresh roasted chicken was obviously frozen chicken b**ast filets (same size and shape as the ones I get from Costco for our dogs...)

We gave them one more try a few weeks later but it was even worse. We haven't been back since and honestly probably won't unless they re-open with their original recipes. Anyways, a few days ago I ran into one of the owners at the grocery store. She asked me why they haven't seen us in so long, and I just told her we'd be cooking at home more.

She asked again, was there really any reason we weren't getting to-go at all anymore? So I told her, yes it seems like the quality of the food has dropped pretty significantly. She started to push back, saying that they had only made minor changes (I disagree) and we were some of their best customers and it was really hurting their business to loose their regulars.

I told her that I'm sorry, we'd be happy to come back if they were going back to their original recipes, but that it just doesn't make sense for me to be buying food that my family isn't enjoying. She stormed off. I told my husband about this interaction and he thinks I should have just told her we were saving money cooking at home and we'd be back after quarantine ended.

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His reasoning was that we know the owners to be good people and they're obviously struggling right now, we shouldn't make them feel worse. I know this is pretty minor, but I pride myself in being a kind person to others and I want to apologize if I need to. AITA?

EDIT: Mostly because I have received multiple comments about me calling the Costco chicken dog food, and I just didn't realize how douchy that sounded...I've always bought these and we usually make chicken sandwiches with them (honestly their best use, would recommend a panini press for this).

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After we got our second dog we started using pieces of the chicken to train him, as he had a lot of behavioral issues and this was a healthier and more motivating choice for him. I guess I kind of just think of them as decent enough quality bulk frozen chicken, which is totally fine imo for the above uses but not really what I want to be paying $17 a dish for.

Also, a lot of the replies I've gotten calling me TA seem like it's a personal thing almost...either they are the owner or working at a place that is suffering due to the pandemic. I honestly really feel for you. I know that it is the small businesses that are suffering right now.

I know that how we spend our money really matters. At the same time, I'm not really down to spend a pretty pricey amount on dinner (we don't get to-go food that costs that much more than a few times a month) if we're not enjoying it, regardless of the situation.

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I'm really not trying to pull a sympathy card here, but I'm a nurse and I've been working my regular schedule on a unit that has been through a lot recently. I want to just pick up something that tastes good, I only have so many fucks to give in this world...so...sorry I guess.

EDIT2: For the person questioning the prices. My son is 12 and eats more than my 4 year old, who gets a side dish of mac n cheese from this restaurant (don't worry, I feed her other things as well). My husband and I usually get entrees that cost $12-$15 on average.

Plus we leave a tip for to-go orders. It ends up around $60. And for the person criticizing me for spending $17 on a 12 year old's dinner, my husband and I work hard so our kids can enjoy a nice dinner :)

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Honesty in customer feedback can feel like walking a tightrope—especially when a small business is on the line. The Redditor’s dilemma highlights a common tension: balancing loyalty to a local spot with expectations for quality. The restaurant’s switch to cheaper ingredients, likely a survival tactic during tough times, clashed with the family’s standards for their hard-earned $60 dinners.

From the owner’s perspective, losing regulars stings, especially when pandemic pressures force tough choices like cutting costs. The Redditor, a nurse stretched thin, prioritized a satisfying meal over blind loyalty—a choice many can relate to. According to a 2021 National Restaurant Association report, 68% of restaurants faced supply chain disruptions, often leading to ingredient substitutions that customers noticed. This context explains the owner’s defensiveness but doesn’t erase the customer’s right to quality.

Dr. John T. Self, a hospitality expert and former restaurant operator, notes, “Customer feedback, even when critical, is a gift to any business willing to listen”. In this case, the Redditor’s honesty could nudge the owner to reassess cost-cutting measures. While the owner’s pushback suggests stress, the feedback highlights a broader issue: small businesses must balance survival with maintaining customer trust.

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For solutions, open communication is key. The Redditor could follow up with a kind note, reaffirming support if quality improves. Restaurants, in turn, can be transparent about temporary changes to manage expectations. Have you faced a similar dining letdown?

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

The Reddit crowd didn’t hold back, dishing out opinions with a side of sass—here’s what they had to say about this culinary conundrum:

IamTheDarkAgent − NTA - When someone asks for feedback they should expect to get honest feedback.. You were honest without being mean. As a business owner they should take your feedback and realize that the cuts they've made might be costing them more than they are saving.

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sgdoherty − NAH. I get how it can come across mean and some may think it was unnecessary for you to say it. But it’s actually giving them some critical feedback that may help them in the long run.

bearbear407 − NTA. It’s hard to hear but they should know that customers can tell the difference when they start cheaping out. They should be thinking of ways on how to advertise and give out specials to retain their customers rather than choosing lower quality ingredients to still make a profit.

everylastlight − NTA. You tried to go with the polite fiction right off the bat; she's the one who kept pushing for the real answer. It sounds like you were kind about it, she just demanded an honest answer and then didn't like it when she got it.

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Cipher_3 − NAH I can understand why they may be upset, losing out on money and business causing them to have no real choice besides downgrading their stock, but you’re also under no obligation to order food from them if you no longer enjoy it. They asked why, you gave your reason. It doesn’t sound like either of you were particularly rude about it, besides the tensions that would be expected given the circumstances

[Reddit User] − NTA you gave her valuable feedback when most people probably were just sticking to polite lies. Unfortunately, she may genuinely not have the funds to change back. Restaurants are in a tough spot.

randumbh3r0 − NTA - It's my personal policy that when the AITA questions regarding honesty arise (should I have told the truth? Should i have been honest?) I always vote NTA, because we simply need more honesty in this world and fewer fragile egos who can't handle said truth.

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The truth isn't subjective to your ability to handle it, it is what it is. Maybe people shouldn't ask questions they don't want honest answers to, especially in awkward situations, but never feel bad for being honest. This applies to EVERYTHING.

Children ask about Santa? Honest. How the girlfriend looks in that dress? Honest. Any question asking your opinion or for information should always be given truth. It might be a bit harder to stomach right off the bat, but I've never seen relationships,

friendships or family broken apart by honesty (unless that honesty followed major lies), but dishonesty and even lying to protect feelings have all had ways of making my life harder, frustrating, awkward, painful, etc.

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At first, being honest all the time can be scary and make you feel vulnerable. But while I'm still not perfect at it, i can tell you that constant honesty like this has greatly improved my own stress and happiness, as well as making many friendships and whatnot easier to deal with.

You might frustrate a few people at first with some particularly honest answers, but once your circle of people understand you're always honest, even to their frustration? Those people will trust you more, they believe everything you say, and eventually the harder truths are accepted easier because they're used to real honesty.

We only lie to protect ourselves from awkward and painful situations. We lie to get out of trouble, to make something seem like not our fault, etc. Own that s**t. Own every time you spill, or even when you rip that silent fart in the car with friends, and pretty soon you will simply be known as an always-honest person.

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You don't have to purposefully be mean to anyone, you can still word things more gently than others, but believe me, just always be honest and you never even have to ask this question of yourself. You're never TA

[Reddit User] − I own a restaurant, and NTA. I’m sure she’s struggling and her pride is hurting. I’d give her another chance if you could, but idk if I would do more after that.

xdaemonisx − It sounds like more than just you have noticed. She sounds stressed. I'd say NTA, but very lightly.

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judge1492 − NTA. You gave the standard polite answer at first. She kept asking so I’m assuming she’s had an issue with other customers. Even if it’s a hard truth, it’s good for her to know.

These hot takes from Reddit range from cheering the Redditor’s honesty to sympathizing with the owner’s plight. But do these armchair critics capture the full picture, or are they just stirring the pot?

This tale of to-go orders and tough talks reminds us how deeply we tie food to comfort, especially in trying times. The Redditor’s choice to speak up wasn’t just about a disappointing chicken dish—it was about valuing her family’s joy and her hard-earned money. Small businesses are the heartbeat of communities, but so is honest feedback that pushes them to thrive. What would you do if your go-to spot started cutting corners? Drop your thoughts below—let’s dish on where loyalty ends and quality begins.

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