AITA for being honest to my mother about how annoying and overbearing she is, causing her to not only cry but ignore me for two days now?

A truck driver’s rare visit home erupts into conflict when his mother’s obsessive control over his social media sparks a heated clash. At 23, he craves independence, but her relentless prying casts a heavy shadow over their bond, leaving readers to ponder: when does love become suffocating?

The fight escalates as he calls her overbearing, triggering tears and a two-day silence. This relatable struggle between autonomy and family ties hooks readers, inviting them to judge who’s in the wrong.

‘AITA for being honest to my mother about how annoying and overbearing she is, causing her to not only cry but ignore me for two days now?’

When I first got social media at the age of 16 my mother wanted to be involved in every single aspect. Who my friends were, what I wrote, what groups I joined. Everything. Since I was a minor and still living under their roof, I had to comply. Seven years later and I’ve been using a new Facebook, one that I had blocked her on.

Since then I’ve basically quit Instagram and Snapchat, and go on Twitter once a month. I use Facebook because I can still follow groups of interest and news pages to keep tabs with what happens in my hometown when I’m on the road. However, my mother is oh-so desperate to get on this Facebook as well.

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She wants to know everything I write, all the groups I follow, and everyone I’m friends with. She’s been desperately getting my Facebook, despite her being blocked, since I was 18 and got the new Facebook profile. She believes that no matter how old I am, she still has every single right to know what I’m doing online.

This weekend while I was home we got into a huge fight because she was threatening to not let me come home anymore (I’m a truck driver, so I’m only home 4 days for every 30 days) if I don’t add her on Facebook. Well, I caved after 5 long years and let her on.

In less than 24 hours she had commented on over 100 posts ranging from last year (I don’t post much on there anymore; mostly just shared posts from other people. Yes I’m one of those people.) She has also messaged half of my friends asking who they are and why they’re friends with me.

Even goes so far as to accusing me and one girl of having a secret relationship without my mother knowing, which isn’t even true because the girl has a boyfriend who isn’t me! My mother has gone way too far, and I finally told her that she is annoying, overbearing, and contrary to her belief not entitled to every aspect of my life just because she gave birth to me 23 years ago.

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This made her cry. Also, it’s been two days since the fight and she refuses to talk to me. Since then I deactivated my Facebook and lost a lot of friends in the process. She may have her heart in the right place, but this woman’s mind is not. She’s always been overbearing. The type of mother who constantly needs to have physical contact with her child.

Even though I’m 23 she still needs me to hold her hand everywhere we go. She babies me constantly, always belittling me as if I’m still a 5 year old. Granted, I never ever wanted to make her cry. Believe me, I want to rip my heart out for every moment in my life I ever made my mother cry. I just wanted to be honest in that she needs to grow up and stop treating me like a child.

Even my father is standing with her in this and saying I’m disrespectful and that I’m still their child, so I have no rights or say when it comes to their involvement in my life. I’ve been begging them to go to therapy with me over this s**t, hoping they could see everything they do is wrong.

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Hoping they could see that I’m a 23 year old who has a full-time job, makes his own money, has no social life, stays out of trouble, etc. But they’ve refused at every opportunity I gave them. So now I’ll have to start finding places to go for my 4 days off from now on unless I reopen my Facebook and let my mother back in as a friend with full ability to see everything I do on there, just as she wants.

This family feud is a classic case of boundaries being trampled under the guise of love. The son’s frustration is palpable, caught between his mother’s relentless oversight and his own need for independence. Her insistence on controlling his social media, even messaging his friends, suggests a struggle to let go, often rooted in deeper emotional needs.

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Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes, “Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and trust, which includes honoring personal boundaries” (source: Gottman Institute). Here, the mother’s actions—commenting on old posts, interrogating friends—cross into invasive territory, undermining her son’s autonomy. Her tears and silent treatment may be less about hurt and more about control, a tactic to guilt him into compliance.

This situation reflects a broader issue: parental overreach in the digital age. A 2021 Pew Research study found that 59% of parents monitor their adult children’s social media, often citing concern but risking strained relationships (source: Pew Research Center). The mother’s behavior, like accusing her son of secret relationships, hints at mistrust, possibly fueled by anxiety or a need for relevance in his life.

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For solutions, open communication is key. The son could calmly restate his need for privacy, perhaps proposing limited sharing—like occasional updates—to ease her fears without surrendering control. Therapy, as he suggested, could help unpack her need for dominance, though her refusal is telling.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit’s verdict is fiery and unfiltered, with users rallying behind the son’s stand. Here’s a glimpse of the community’s hot takes:

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UncleOgre − Don't just walk away, run. She's crying and ignoring you because she's the a**hole. She's the one trying to manipulate you. Find a new place. If you have to leave everything behind, pack what you can store in your rig and spend a week in a hotel every month until you can get a place of your own. Honestly you may be better served getting a storage unit she can't access, and then staying in hotels so she can't track you.

idiotsavant419 − Not the a**hole. Check out /r/raisedbynarcissists.

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malten_sage − To answer the most common question I get in regards to me going back to my parents on my time off: I would love to get my own apartment, but it doesn’t seem right to pay rent for a place I’ll only be at 4 days out of 30. The bad thing about that is my mother and father have already said they want a key and full 24/7 access to the apartment if I get one.

Viperbunny − This is abuse. She is abusing you. She is manipulating you. My mom is like this and she has BPD. I have had to cut contact. They only care about themselves, ate controlling, manipulative and overbearing. You are an adult now. Yiu can leave this behind.

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Pentacorny − Soooo I'm just gonna shamelessly plug r/justnomil because it sounds like you have a very similar problem. That sub and the community might help. And no, you're not the a**hole. You've got a just no for a mom and a dad without a spine. Cheers to you for starting to grow one and establishing boundaries

NEOLittle − You're nowhere close to an a**hole. You are in a hole that your mother tossed you in.. You wouldn't be an a**hole if you did any or all of the following: Reactivate Facebook and post a message to your page that you unwisely let a relative have access and they posted and messaged people.

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Apologize for any upset this may have caused and reassure them that, while you won't be revealing the name of the relative, you won't be letting them anywhere near your Facebook ever again. Reach out to the people you care about and reestablish as many of the relationships as you can.

Your mother actively and INTENTIONALLY set out to undermine your support group so you would have no one to run to but her. Found somewhere else to live 4/30 days without paying a month's rent, by posting on your local listings seeing if anyone would like a little extra money, guaranteed every month,

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to store a few of your possessions and let you crash on their couch. Putting your larger possessions AND ESPECIALLY YOUR ID and PERSONAL INFORMATION in storage, the f**k away from your manipulative, control freak mother.

annarchy8 − You're not an a**hole. You are an adult trying to have an adult relationship with your mother and she won't let you grow up. You didn't make her cry. She cried to push your guilt button and that's why she's giving you the silent treatment too.

Get your stuff out of her house. Go be a fully independent adult. Your mother can either continue behaving like she owns you or she can have a healthy relationship with you. Set boundaries for your own health and safety.

steezycheesefries − Dude Shut your mother the f**k down, i know i sound horrible for saying that s**t.But its true thats full fledged ridiculous man. And tell her even ny friend's think youre crazy give the lady some outside perspective trust me she needs it.

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[Reddit User] − Really blow their minds and buy a place, then sub lease or use something like Airbnb so there is a constant stream of people coming and going. Then they CANT have a key bc then it invades others privacy. They are insane.

Islamzedd − No you are not an a**hole in anyway

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These opinions pack a punch, but do they capture the full picture or just fan the flames of rebellion?

This tale of a son pushing back against his mother’s overreach is a stark reminder that love can sometimes feel like a leash. His honesty, though harsh, was a cry for independence, met with tears and silence that only deepen the rift. Striking a balance between family ties and personal freedom is no easy feat. What would you do if you were in his shoes? Would you reopen that Facebook profile, or stand firm and carve out your own space? Share your thoughts and experiences below—let’s keep the conversation going!

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