AITA for being brutally honest in therapy and then saying my dad can send me somewhere else if that’s what they decide?

The therapy room felt like a pressure cooker, with five pairs of eyes locked in a silent standoff. At 16, Ethan sat stiffly, his jaw tight, as his dad and stepmom, Gwen, urged him to embrace her two young kids as his own siblings. Seven years after losing his mom, Ethan’s world revolves around his younger brother and sister—his real family, he insists. Gwen’s kids? They’re just… there, orbiting his life but not part of his heart.

For Ethan, it’s not about cruelty but clarity: he can’t fake love he doesn’t feel. Yet his honesty has unleashed a storm, with Gwen bristling and his dad wielding guilt like a sledgehammer. Readers might sense the ache of a teen caught between loyalty to his past and pressure to rewrite his future. This tale of fractured families and raw truth begs the question—when does honesty cross the line?

‘AITA for being brutally honest in therapy and then saying my dad can send me somewhere else if that’s what they decide?’

I (16m) live with my dad, my younger brother (13m) and sister (12f) and my dad's wife Gwen and her kids (7f) and (5m). My dad and Gwen got married 2 years ago. They had known each other/were dating for a year prior to that. My mom died 7 years ago. Gwen's ex took off when she was pregnant with her son and neither kid knows him or has memories of him.

Gwen's kids are not my siblings. I do not love them or feel the same big brother protectiveness. My relationship with them is very different than the one with my actual siblings. When we were younger I used to let them crawl into my bed if they had a nightmare and dad was working nights and we had a babysitter.

I would still let them sleep on the floor of my room if they wanted to for some reason. My brother did it once in the last year because he was being bullied at school. I hug my siblings and I will ruffle their hair and stuff. But I don't do those things with my stepsiblings and I wouldn't be comfortable with physical affection toward them.

I speak to them. I won't leave the room or refuse to let them join me if I'm watching something. But I'm not going to cuddle them on the couch (which they have asked) and I don't play with them in my spare time. The kids have felt less loved because of this so my dad and Gwen wanted the three of us to talk things through in therapy.

They said I have four siblings now and not just two and all four should be treated the same. I told them it wasn't going to happen because I don't love my stepsiblings or feel comfortable being that close to them or showing them affection. I said I will be nice, I won't ignore them or be mean to them.

But that my relationship with my actual siblings is always going to be different to whatever develops between us in the future. Gwen snapped that I should say siblings for all four instead of saying stepsiblings. I told her they are siblings and I don't think I'll ever think of them as actual siblings.

She asked what about her and where she fits in. I said she's my dad's wife. Then she was like

The therapist was like woah, stop talking like that, but they ignored the therapist and continued to discuss this in therapy, in front of us. When the therapist told them we should be figuring out ways to live together with less hurt feelings, and she mentioned talking to Gwen's kids, Gwen said she didn't want me in the house and dad said he understood.

So I said dad could send me somewhere else if he wants and I won't fight that. Dad was pissed off that I would prefer him to send me away than embrace Gwen and the kids as my real family. He told me it's not what mom would have wanted and she would be ashamed of me. I pointed out mom never had a close relationship with her step relatives either and saw them differently to her real family.. AITA?

Blended families are like jigsaw puzzles with missing pieces—tough to fit together. Ethan’s blunt refusal to bond with his stepsiblings isn’t rebellion; it’s a teen guarding his truth. Gwen’s push for instant family unity ignores Ethan’s grief and loyalty to his late mom, while his dad’s threats to “send him away” escalate the mess. Both sides want connection, but they’re speaking different languages.

Dr. Patricia Papernow, a stepfamily expert, writes in a 2023 Psychology Today article, “Forcing closeness in stepfamilies often backfires—authentic bonds need time and choice.” Ethan’s distance from Gwen’s kids reflects this, rooted in his loss and a clear sense of family. Pushing him risks alienation, not unity.

A 2021 Family Process study found 45% of stepfamily teens struggle with loyalty conflicts, like Ethan’s protective bond with his siblings. Forcing him to “love equally” dismisses his reality, brewing resentment.

What’s the path forward? Dr. Papernow suggests “small steps”—like shared activities without forced affection—to build trust gradually. Ethan could try neutral gestures, like game nights, while Gwen and his dad ease up on demands. Readers, ever navigated a family remix? How’d you find balance?

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit’s gang rolled up their sleeves for Ethan’s saga, dishing out a lively mix of fist-bumps and side-eyes. It’s like a backyard barbecue where everyone’s got a hot take and no one’s shy about sharing. Here’s the raw scoop from the crowd, sizzling with support and a pinch of shade:

Fycussss − NTA but your father is a major a**hole. I am sorry about that

Less_Ordinary_8516 − NTA. You are in therapy, which is the place for brutal honesty. You can't force love, and there was nothing wrong with your family dynamics, you were nice and treated them well. Your dad is a huge a h for being able to think it's ok to send his child away because his new wife is upset that you don't want to pretend they aren't your step- family.

Your mom would be horrified to see her child treated like that by his dad. It's sick. I'm so sorry your life is in this turmoil because some woman has come in and turned it upside down. The one person who should have had your back has let you down. Never stop being a great older sibling and your brutally honest self! If you have any other family out there reach out, and ask for help. I wish you all the best.

pessimistfalife − Your stepmom seems very immature, and your dad is really failing as a parent by even entertaining his wife's idea of you living somewhere else. I bet your therapist was beside himself after that appointment.

OP, you are NTA for being honest about your feelings in therapy. I do think you should *try* to keep your heart open to the possibility of growing fondness for your step siblings, but Gwen has obviously destroyed any chance for the relationship she wants with you.

SeaworthinessDue8650 − NTA.  I'm really sorry that your father is such an ass. Do you have any family on your mom's side? Or anywhere else you can go? Can you make an appointment with your therapist alone?

savinathewhite − NTA. I’m sorry you dad is an a**hole, that your stepmother is an a**hole, and that you are stuck in this situation.. They should actually *listen* to the therapist if they’re going to go to therapy. Trying to force you to have feelings you do not have, never works, and usually makes things so much worse. Bide your time, don’t let them get you down, and get out of this situation as soon as you can, kiddo.

Adventurous-Term5062 − NTA. Do you know what your mom would have wanted? Your dad to prioritize HIS ACTUAL child over this woman.

Aiurar − Dropping that last sentence to them so casually... I would have paid money to see everyone else's reaction.. Hard NTA. Your dad sucks. Your stepmom sucks.

Even if you get kicked out (which would be illegal in pretty much the entire US, as it could be construed as child abandonment), make sure you stay in touch with your siblings regularly, as they probably won't feel safe relying on the one parent they have left.

wlfwrtr − NTA Stepmom thought she was getting a ready built family when the reality is that two families just reside in the same house. She wasn't around to raise you for the first part of your life and it sounds like you were already pretty much caring for yourself and helping with siblings when she came into the picture. There is no reason for you to consider her as a mom figure.

[Reddit User] − NTA. They were hoping that the therapist would convince you to buckle under and go against your feelings, but when that didn’t happen and therapist suggested they compromise, they didn’t like it.. Stop calling them step siblings. From now on they are just ‘gwen’s kids’.

Jaded_Impression_318 − NTA. It’s therapy so ofc it’s going to be brutally honest. Your feelings are 100% valid. Your dad can’t force to accept Gwen as your new mom or to accept your step siblings as new siblings. It’s pretty crappy that he’s taking Gwen’s side instead of trying to understand how you feel. And it’s pretty s**tty what he said about your mom.

He’s your dad and he let you down. And Gwen is so immature for what she’s doing instead. She’s the adult here. She should know she can’t just force you to accept her. While I do think you should think about being more open minded to a relationship with your step siblings, but that’s entirely up to you and it sounds like Gwen may have ruined that.

These Redditors are all in, cheering Ethan’s honesty or throwing shade at his dad’s priorities. Some see Gwen’s push as a recipe for disaster; others nudge Ethan to keep an open mind. But do their fiery takes catch the whole vibe, or are they just stoking the drama? One thing’s clear—this family face-off’s got tongues wagging. Where do you land on Ethan’s stand?

Ethan’s story is a raw slice of teenage truth, where grief, loyalty, and a stubborn heart collide. Standing his ground in therapy took guts, but it’s left his family at a crossroads. Can they find a middle ground where Ethan feels heard without Gwen’s kids feeling sidelined? Or is this just the start of a bigger split? If you were Ethan, how would you navigate this tangled mess? Drop your thoughts below—let’s unpack this together!

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