AITA for barring someone from my home for breaking both of my ground rules?

A 19-year-old apartment host thought he had set two very simple rules for the after-prom gathering he organized. The plan was straightforward: friends could relax, celebrate, and hang out safely after their high school prom, as long as everyone respected his home and followed the boundaries he clearly stated. Those rules were simple enough—no weed and no sex inside the apartment.

For the most part, the small group of guests followed them without issue. However, one person attending the party quickly tested the host’s patience. A friend’s boyfriend arrived carrying marijuana and a bong, despite knowing the host’s expectations. Even after being warned several times, he continued trying to smoke inside the apartment. What followed throughout the night left the host feeling completely disrespected in his own home, eventually leading him to ban the guest entirely.

‘AITA for barring someone from my home for breaking both of my ground rules?’

A young host explains the rules he set before welcoming friends to his after-prom gathering.

I'm 19 and my girlfriend and most of her friends are seniors in high school and their prom was this weekend. I hosted an after-prom at my apartment to which...

I have a party once every few months and the ground rules are always the same: no s__ and no weed in the house. We sometimes have alcohol, as people...

One guest quickly pushed those boundaries despite being warned beforehand.

This time; however, one of our friends' boyfriend (who none of us like) brought a bong and some marajuana.

I begrudgingly said that it was okay as long as it never entered my house and was never smoked in my house when his girlfriend asked if he could bring...

Well, wouldn't you know it, he brings it into my house and immediately pulls out a lighter and tries to light it right in front of me, first thing.

I told him to stop and not to do it again. He did this three times during the night between going outside to smoke.

Later events at the party only made the situation worse for the host.

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Then, at 11:30, I had to leave to take two people home, and according to the other people there, he both asked his girlfriend for s__,

both in my room and on my couch and then he proceeded to again attempt to light his bong before the others could stop him.. When I came home, I...

When my girlfriend and I went to bed, his girlfriend and he slept on the couch and another friend slept on the floor.

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The floor friend reported to me this morning that he apparently asked his girlfriend for s__ a few more times and apparently he heard some faint s__ noises from the...

I texted him and told him that he was no longer allowed to come over because he disrespected my home and he disrespected me. He never replied, but his girlfriend...

Respecting house rules is a fundamental expectation when visiting someone else’s home. Even during informal gatherings like parties, guests are still responsible for following the boundaries established by the host. When those rules are ignored repeatedly, it can quickly turn a social event into a stressful experience.

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In this situation, the host made his expectations clear before the event even began. Guests were allowed to socialize and drink, but he explicitly prohibited marijuana and sexual activity inside the apartment. The guest in question not only brought marijuana but repeatedly attempted to smoke it indoors despite multiple warnings. From a social etiquette standpoint, ignoring a host’s rules several times can reasonably be viewed as disrespectful behavior.

At the same time, the situation also highlights the challenges of hosting parties with mixed groups of friends and acquaintances. When a host allows exceptions or hesitates to enforce boundaries immediately, guests may interpret that hesitation as permission to push limits further. Experts in social conflict often suggest that clear and consistent enforcement of rules helps prevent these situations from escalating and protects both the host’s comfort and safety.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Many commenters strongly supported the host and emphasized the importance of respecting house rules.

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[Reddit User] − You are definitely NOT the a__hole. When you are a guest in someone’s home you follow their rules, plain and simple.

Lilgayboi209 − Not the a__hole. You told him the rules multiple times to which he ignored. He took advantage.

If it were me I would’ve kicked him out of my house the second he brought the bong. It’s not his house and he should’ve respected your rules in the...

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kit_glider − Nope, not the a__hole. I’d have thrown him out way sooner.

jaspnlv − Not the a__hole

Jess_needs_tequila − You aren’t the a__hole, this guy sounds like a s__t bag

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eoswald − not the a__hole. he's not an a__hole for bringing weed, but once you told him no - he def was the a__hole for trying to smoke it in...

Some commenters added practical concerns and advice about hosting parties.

thiscouldbemassive − You are golden. Thought friendly advice, you should never furnish alcohol to minors. A friend of mine got six months in jail for hosting a party like this....

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skinisblackmetallic − You’re not an a__hole but you hesitated to establish your boundary. It’s just something to improve,

A few responses focused on the potential risks surrounding the situation.

ariley2 − Definitely not the a__hole. I would like to say there are a lot of us out here, smokers, who follow rules and aren’t deliberately disrespectful.

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hallgod33 − Damn son, totally not the a__hole. .. Such a not a__hole that you aren't noticing how much danger that fella put you in, and are trying to not...

You barely know the fella, what if he went home drunk n high n something bad happened? You do NOT want that on your conscience,

and someone trying to put you in that position is the a__hole. Plus hosting a party as an adult for underaged people is a totally bad idea, even for your...

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They can wait til everyone is 18, imo, or you can drink at their houses. Might mean less parties, but that's a small price to pay when you have to...

Hosting gatherings often means balancing fun with responsibility. In this situation, the host believed his rules were simple and reasonable, yet one guest repeatedly ignored them. What started as a celebration after prom ended with frustration and a permanent ban from the apartment.

Situations like this often raise questions about boundaries, respect, and how quickly hosts should enforce their rules when someone crosses the line. Was banning the guest the right response after multiple warnings, or should the host have handled the situation differently during the party itself? What would you do if someone repeatedly ignored your house rules during an event?

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