AITA For Backing My Daughter’s Refusal to Forgive a Cruel Cat Prank?

Picture a sunny afternoon 16 years ago, a young girl’s laughter mingling with the jingle of a cat’s collar—until a cruel prank shattered her world. A Reddit user’s daughter lost her beloved pet when her cousin let it out, chuckling at her tears. Fast forward to today, and that old wound festers as the cousin’s housing crisis drags family ties into a tangled mess. The daughter’s refusal to bend feels like a stand for justice, but is it fair?

The stakes are high: a cousin facing eviction, two kids caught in the chaos, and a grandmother’s plea for compassion. Yet the daughter’s heart clenches at the thought of aiding someone who never showed remorse. It’s a clash of loyalty, pain, and principle, set against a backdrop of family dinners and faded memories. Let’s unravel this drama and see where the lines are drawn.

‘AITA For Backing My Daughter’s Refusal to Forgive a Cruel Cat Prank?’

16 years ago, my daughter and my nephew were both 9 and were being looked after by sister his mom. My nephew decided to let her cat out just to see her reaction and only confessed to it a day later. He found it very humorous even while she was devastated after we weren’t able to find the cat after days of searching.

My sister was really apologetic and did her best to discipline him for it but for reasons understandable to everyone, my immediate family never saw my nephew again. He was forced to apologize by his parents which he made very effort to do as sarcastically as possible and even after growing up, never realized that what he did was anything other than a funny prank.

From what I know of him, he’s barely changed as an adult. In spite of it, we didn’t really blame my sister. She never defended his actions and tried to get him mental treatment as an adolescent too. I don’t think she was a bad mother, because her other two kids turned out fine. My daughter especially grew close to her when she moved to the same city where my daughter was in college.

Both of them and my nephew all live and work there now. Just last week, my sister asked my daughter if she could move in with her for a few weeks or possibly months. My daughter agreed but rescinded it when she realized why: my nephew, his girlfriend and their two kids needed a place to stay after being evicted because of his girlfriend’s illegal d**g use.

My sister offered to let them stay but my nephew’s girlfriend hates her so they asked her to move out and let them stay there on their own which she agreed to because the alternative is everyone including the kids ending up homeless.

My daughter told my sister that’s an insane thing to agree to and tried to convince her to reconsider but my sister was adamant that it was the only choice and she can’t let the kids suffer for their parents’ choices. Well my daughter said if she wants to be taken advantage of, she can, but she (my daughter) is not going to be a party to it and has no intention to indirectly help out my nephew after what he did to her cat all those years ago.

Both of them called me after that, my sister to ask me to tell my daughter to give up her really old grudge and think of the children, and my daughter asking if she’s making the right choice. I sided with my daughter and told my sister it would be best for everyone if she joined the rest of us in going NC from my nephew because he’s always going to use his kids to manipulate her like this but she thinks we’re all wrong for letting his kids suffer due to who he is.

Family grudges can simmer like a pot left too long on the stove, and this cat prank is no exception. The daughter’s refusal to help her cousin reflects a deep wound, while her cousin’s lack of remorse fuels the fire. Both have their reasons—she clings to pain, he to indifference—but the real tension lies in balancing personal boundaries with family duty.

Dr. John Gottman, a renowned psychologist, says, “Unresolved conflicts in families can create cycles of hurt that persist for generations” (source: Gottman Institute). Here, the cousin’s prank and sarcastic apology left a mark, while his current crisis pulls others into his orbit. The daughter’s stance is less about pettiness and more about self-protection, but it risks isolating her aunt, who’s caught in the middle.

This mirrors wider trends. A 2022 Pew Research study found 27% of adults have cut off family over past conflicts (source: Pew Research). The daughter could consider therapy to process her grief, while her aunt might explore firm boundaries, like offering temporary aid without displacing herself.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit’s got opinions hotter than a summer sidewalk, and this story stirred up plenty. Here’s what the community tossed into the mix:

cdseventyeight − Many people would suggest leaving the past in the past, but your daughter has every right to feel any ways she wants. If someone did that to one of my dogs, I’d carry that grudge to my grave!!! People may say that’s petty!! Just call me Petty LaBelle.

hummus_sapiens − What are the odds cousin and girlfriend will never move out again? Aunt is making a huge mistake by moving out. Gf doesn't like her? Too bad. She can suck it up or stay away. It's the _aunts_ friggin flat!. NTA Your daughter can hold as many grudges as she likes.

do2g − my sister was adamant that it was the only choice and she can’t let the kids suffer for their parents’ choices. It's definitely not the only choice. The other choice would be to say

Stealthy-J −

maroongrad − The kids can move in without the adults. Problem solved. Also, anything she leaves behind will be sold unless they're using it, like a gaming station. TVs, blenders, furniture, they'll go through every item looking for stuff they can sell and selling the items too. She's going to return to a trashed-out house and it's going to be a mess. Better choice to let them be homeless, call CPS, and get the kids.

Silvaria928 − He is obviously a cruel person who feels zero remorse for the pain that he has caused others and I wouldn't want the b**tard in my house at any age. NTA.

LibraryOwlAz − Torturing animals is an early sign of psychotic behavior. Letting one out to never be seen again is much the same.

Kittytigris − A) mom is an enabler. She might not agree with her son’s behavior, but she’s not enforcing any harsh boundaries either. B) your kid is right. She does not need to be a party to indirectly enabling her cousin’s awful behavior. C) your sister could just let her grandkids live with her and have the 2 parents figure out their own living situation.

They are adults and it sounds like they’re homeless because of their irresponsible behavior. No offense to your sister but how does she think an irresponsible father who does not have any empathy and a d**g addicted mother would be decent parents to her grandkids to the point of letting them push her out of house and home?

PANDAmmmonium − It's just flat out baffling to me that the gf hates the aunt so the aunt IS GIVING UP HER OWN HOUSING FOR THEM?! Tell me you're being emotionally manipulated without telling me.

shammy_dammy − She has no reason to be in contact with him and it sounds like she should also expand that to her aunt as well. NTA.

From fiery defenses to sharp warnings, these takes paint a vivid picture—but do they miss the heart of the matter? Maybe there’s a softer side to this feud worth exploring.

This tale of a lost cat and lingering grudges reminds us how childhood moments can echo into adulthood, shaping choices and breaking bonds. The daughter’s stand feels righteous, but her aunt’s plea for the kids tugs at the heart. Family’s messy like that—love and hurt all knotted up. What would you do if an old wound clashed with a new crisis? Share your thoughts—let’s untangle this together!

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