AITA for asking the guys in my bridal party to fly to Vegas twice for my bachelor party?

Planning his dream bachelor party in Vegas, a groom asked his ten closest friends to fly out twice—once for a Memorial Day event and again for a “once-in-a-lifetime” experience. But his “ride or die” groomsmen pushed back hard, calling the request unreasonable due to costs, family obligations, and work. After a heated email where he guilt-tripped them about friendship, eight responded with frustration, some even quitting the bridal party. Now, he’s questioning if he’s in the wrong.

Was he out of line for expecting his friends to make two costly trips, or are they overreacting to his big plans? The online community overwhelmingly calls him out, urging humility and an apology. This bachelor party fiasco sparks a debate about friendship and entitlement—let’s dive in and unpack who’s in the right.

‘AITA for asking the guys in my bridal party to fly to Vegas twice for my bachelor party?’

It all started with an ambitious bachelor party plan:

I’m getting married and I’ve asked all my long term friends from high school and college to be my groomsmen. So these are guys who I thought were my literal...

I want to do my bachelor party in Vegas, in fact I always have. Because things I want to do are on my the weekend of Memorial Day (Steve Aoki...

and the weekend after (special once in a lifetime event) but I have to work in between I figured my friends would be cool flying out twice. After all it’s...

His friends pushed back against the request:

But when I asked 10 out of 10 said I was being overly demanding and I needed to pick one event. 6 of them said it was a lot to...

The groom sent a guilt-tripping email but got negative responses:

I sent what I thought was a polite email telling them how we were friends and doing stuff for friends is part of the pact we make. Just now I...

I don’t need to be guilted into a trip I don’t want to so anyways.” Am I really being the a__hole for this? Honest feedback please. I had to delete...

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This story is a classic example of unrealistic expectations in friendships, particularly in the context of planning a bachelor party. The OP’s request for all ten groomsmen to fly to Vegas twice in consecutive weeks is an excessive demand, both financially and logistically. While he sees it as a fun opportunity with his “ride or die” friends, he fails to acknowledge their other priorities, like family, work, and finances. His guilt-tripping email about the “pact” of friendship only escalated tensions, making friends feel manipulated and leading some to quit the bridal party.

From the groomsmen’s perspective, their pushback is entirely reasonable. As psychologist John Gottman notes, “Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and understanding of each other’s boundaries”. Traveling to Vegas twice, especially around Memorial Day when family time is prioritized, is a significant burden. Flights, hotels, and activities in Vegas can cost thousands per person, not to mention time off work or childcare arrangements. The OP’s failure to offer financial support or consider alternatives, like choosing one event or hosting locally, shows a lack of empathy for his friends’ realities.

The online community unanimously labels the OP as the asshole, calling him “Groomzilla” for his entitled expectations and lack of consideration. Many criticize his manipulative email and urge a sincere apology, suggesting he pick one event to ease the burden. Some question the “once-in-a-lifetime” second event, with one comment speculating it involves inappropriate intentions, raising concerns about his readiness for marriage. The community emphasizes that a bachelor party should be a joyful, inclusive experience, not a forced obligation that strains friendships.

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Moving forward, the OP must apologize sincerely to his friends, acknowledging that his request was unrealistic and disregarded their circumstances. He should choose one Vegas event or consider a more accessible, budget-friendly option to ensure everyone can join without pressure. An open conversation with the group, emphasizing his desire to preserve friendships, will help mend the rift. More importantly, the OP should reflect on his maturity and priorities as he prepares for marriage, ensuring future decisions respect the boundaries and needs of those closest to him.

Check out how the community responded:

The online community strongly criticizes the OP, viewing his request as unreasonable and entitled, urging him to apologize and adjust his plans. Their comments fuel the debate:

Most agree the OP is wrong:

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residentcaprice - "YTA. Groomzilla. Are you paying the accomodations and air tickets? Traveling once is bad enough, but twice? You don't sound mature enough to be married.

Others have responsibilities and lives of their own. For those who have family commitments, holidays are usually spent with their own families. Not riding and dying with you in Las...

diminishingpatience - "YTA. 10 out of 10 said I was being overly demanding and I needed to pick one event. 6 of them said it was a lot to ask...

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There's really no need to ask Reddit. You've had several very clear answers from people who know you. I sent what I thought was a polite email telling them how...

ComputerCrafty4781 - "YTA Obligations of a wedding party are as follows; on the wedding day arrive on time, appropriately dressed, sober, with a brief speech prepared. That's it. You're getting...

The people getting married should have absolute control over picking out everything they can afford from their own resources like the officiant, venue, cake, color scheme, guest list, etc, as...

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Getting married does not give the bride or groom the right to spend the personal funds of their wedding party. My husband and I even paid for all the bridesmaids...

Think about what is more important, trying to force your friends to go to Vegas or having your friends in your wedding party. Hint: if you are choosing a party...

MyRockySpine - "YTA. Asking your friends to fly to Vegas ONCE is a huge ask, TWICE is just insane. You are a bad friend."

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EvenMoreSpiders - "YTA you can't expect your friends to drop literally everything in their lives just because you want to go do something for your bachelor party TWICE. Once can...

If you're not paying for all of their accomodations you have no right to complain. Pick one or go to both and do one alone. Or do it all alone...

Slow_Orange_239 - "Lol this has got to be a joke? YTA if not. Why would they spend likely thousands of dollars not to mention their time so you can have...

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FoxInLilac - "YTA. Ten guys flying to Vegas for a bachelor party is a huge ask! Twice... Wow! Twice in a week... are you for real? On a holiday weekend......

GoodIntelligent2867 - "YTA Are you serious. People have lives outside of Steve Aoki and YOUR once in a lifetime event - how dare they think about their wives, kids, work,...

home and other unimportant stuff when their friend demands that he wants them to fly to Vegas for HIS bachelor party and how dare they try to set him straight...

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The fact that you expect them to fly to Vegas twice and you do not seem to even comprehend it when they all 10 refuse, proves that you are lacking...

theactualcoolmom - "If you were offering to pay for their flights maybe you'd be less of an a__hole but it's absolutely insane to expect them to spend hundreds if not...

Did you even once consider that they might not even be able to afford that? You need to apologize if these people are actually important to you."

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WelfordNelferd - "Honest feedback: YTA. They may be your 'ride or die' friends, but (understandably) not 'fly twice or die' friends. Expecting your groomsmen to fly to one bachelor party...

and you're on your righteous high horse that it's perfectly reasonable to expect them to make two trips? Groomzilla vibes, m'man. Call your buds, tell them you've come to your...

Constellation-88 - "YTA. Why wouldn't you be? Destination bachelor trips/weddings are a big ask anyway. You've got people whose work schedules differ than yours and have to take time off,...

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and you've got the basic hassle of traveling. But you want them to do this TWICE so that you can... see two different shows? Bruh. 1) Pick one! 2) Send...

I've been letting my excitement over the event cloud my judgment and not thinking of the practicalities of all this. I totally get it if you can't come to my...

If you can't make it, we will celebrate at home (in some other way). In the end, this is supposed to be a time of joy for my fiancee, my...

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[Reddit User] - "YTA. If you didn't mention that you were already done with college I would have assumed you are a teenager based on this situation of yours. Do...

One weekend is still a lot and you shouldn't be mad if most of the ten cannot commit to that. Would you ditch your family and responsibilities for a double...

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FeedbackCreative8334 - "Your friends made it clear that they were willing to travel for you once, and that even that amount of travel was pushing it because of their other...

Even if you were the one paying for tickets it's a big ask time-wise to fly out even once. To put it in perspective, how many times did you fly...

Realistically if both those events are important to you, go ahead and fly out for both, but don't ask the others to do that. Depending on where you're flying from,...

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One seeks clarification about the second event:

the__stinker - "INFO: what is the second weekend, once in a lifetime event?"

One harshly criticizes and questions OP’s intentions:

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Rocabarraigh - "Wait. Hold your horses. So you want two stag dos. And the second is to meet some OF girl that you presumably want to shag‽ You're a dumpster...

That way you're free to pine after OF girls and porn stars without betraying the person you're supposed to love. YTA. And I cannot stress enough how much of an...

The groom’s demand for his groomsmen to fly to Vegas twice for his bachelor party was a major overreach, ignoring their financial and personal constraints. His guilt-tripping email only worsened the fallout, risking lifelong friendships. The online community calls him out as “Groomzilla,” urging an apology and a single, inclusive event to salvage the group.

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Can he repair the damage with his friends before the wedding? Should he rethink his priorities as he enters marriage? Share your thoughts—what would you do in this bachelor party mess?

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