AITA for asking my wife to apologize for having her maid of honor pour water on my mom at the wedding?

Step into a chaotic wedding prep scene where a prank turns perilous. This Reddit tale unfolds as a groom’s wife greenlights a cold-water prank on his sulky mother, unaware she’s battling a life-threatening infection. The mother’s ER trip and family fallout leave the groom urging an apology, only for his wife to refuse, citing the mother’s dramatic history. Was he wrong to push for peace? Reddit and experts dive into this mess of misjudgments and medical emergencies.

A seemingly harmless prank spirals into a family rift, exposing raw tensions. This story of regret and responsibility pulls us into a debate about pranks, health, and accountability. Let’s unpack the details, community reactions, and expert insights.

‘AITA for asking my wife to apologize for having her maid of honor pour water on my mom at the wedding?’

My mom does have a history of acting out when things aren’t about her. Nothing crazy like some of the stuff I’ve read on here but she will sulk and be difficult. My mom and my wife have an ok relationship but they don’t really like each other. Before the wedding my mom came to get ready and was very whiny and laid down on the hotel bed.

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She wanted everyone else to get their makeup done first and was pretty much falling asleep and getting pissy when she was asked to get up. The bridal party already didn’t like my mom because she was demanding at the shower, so the maid of honor filled up a bucket of cold water, but she looked to my wife for permission.

My wife nodded and admits that she thought it was funny. Now pranks are pretty ok in my family but my mom wasn’t going to take a prank from my wife well anyway. Once they threw the water on her they immediately knew something was wrong. My mom was shivering, teeth chattering, and could barley stand up.

Someone ran to get my dad who wasn’t surprised because she apparently hadn’t been feeling well for a while and had a doctors appointment. When he got to the hotel room he demanded to know why she was wet, my wife told him, and he cussed her out.

He took my mom to the ER and she had blood poisoning from an infection. They said she could have died if it had gone untreated much longer. My father currently hates my wife and won’t even speak to her and my mom claims she is over it but loves to tell everyone how they bullied her when she was near death.

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I asked my wife to apologize and she got mad. My wife said she didn’t actually pour it and because of my moms previous behavior she thought she was faking. I asked her just to keep the peace and now she is mad and says that isn’t her job and my dad needs to get over it.

Edit- a lot of people are picturing my mom as old and feeble. She was 44 and the water was poured before hair and makeup and the dress going on

Second Edit- I am not going to debate being no contact. Neither my wife or I want that or think it is warranted. That is our decision to make and not yours.

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Third Edit- someone said I should add this (also my mom has an eating disorder and my wife knows) this was the bridal shower incident. She refused to eat, which they wouldn't let go and tried to force her to eat. My mom ended up shrieking hysterically about she wasn't going to eat and they can't make her.

She whined about not wanting to go to the wedding but having to go to make my dad happy and how much she hates other peoples weddings. She demanded someone bring her champagne because se was the mother of the groom.

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When she was told to f**k off she whined about they need to get her something because she is faint from having that food shoved in her face. then she went to the bathroom and called my dad, who made a joke about she should pull a fire alarm and end the shower. She returned and told my wife that my dad was going to set the place on fire, which is not what he said.

The groom’s request for an apology aimed to mend family ties, but it overlooked the prank’s deeper harm. The wife’s approval of the water prank, though intended as humor, was reckless given the mother’s known volatility. Dr. John Duffy, a family therapist, notes, “Pranks during high-stakes events like weddings risk escalating conflicts, especially with strained relationships.” The mother’s untreated infection, compounded by her eating disorder, made the prank’s impact severe, though unintentional.

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The situation reflects a broader issue: miscommunication in blended families. Studies show 50% of wedding-related conflicts involve in-law misunderstandings, often worsened by unaddressed health issues. The wife’s refusal to apologize, assuming fakery, and the father’s rage highlight a lack of empathy on all sides.

Duffy’s work stresses accountability without defensiveness. The wife should apologize for the prank’s harm, not the health outcome, while the mother’s behavior warrants boundaries. Family therapy could rebuild trust.

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Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit’s dishing out an “ESH” verdict with a side of chaos. Here’s their blunt take:

Madam_Cholet - ESH. Your father should have taken your mother to the hospital long before she got sepsis. Had the bridal party left her to sleep, she’d be dead now. That “prank” likely saved her life. Your wife shouldn’t have had water thrown on your mother because she was being an arsehole about getting ready.

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They should have just left her. But remember, had they left her, your mother would have died on your wedding day. You suck because you didn’t shut down the s**tty behaviour from your mother the first time she started acting like a silky toddler because something wasn’t about her.

tonicthesonic - ESH.. Literally, everyone. Your mom was being a mood, your wife let her maid of honor *pour a bucket of water on someone just before they attended a wedding* \- who the hell does that? - but regardless of all the shittiness, the blood poisoning had nothing to do with the 'prank'.

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She had an infection already and should have been treated. You and your father are wrong to blame your wife for nearly killing your mom - it had nothing to do with the prank, which was stupid, childish, and pointless.. Y'all need family therapy to get over this one.

newaxcounr - ESH, the bucket didn’t cause the blood poisoning or infection. your mom wasn’t taking care of herself and getting treated so that’s on her. she also sounds really unpleasant and i don’t blame your wife for being frustrated.

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the wedding should’ve been about bride and groom not grooms mom. wife should’ve just handled things like an adult. it’s pretty clear the mom wouldn’t have found that funny and pranks should be funny for everyone.

Alert-Potato - ESH - your wife and her bridesmaid suck for throwing water on your mother. Your mother sucks because she has such a deep history of dramatics that her being near death seemed like just another bout of her b**lshit.

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You and your father suck for thinking that your mother’s medical problems are in any way your wife’s fault. Your mom was damn near dead *before* she was wet. Hell, it’s possible that she may have fallen asleep and been left there if this hadn’t happened, in which case she’d be dead. Every person involved is an a**hole. Y’all deserve each other.

JustheBean - ESH (except your wife to be entirely honest) your mom chose not to get treated for illness, has a history of trying to make everything about her, AND the water didn’t happen at the wedding, it happened while everyone was getting ready. Your dad should apologize, no one else knew she was so sick, but he expected everyone to care for her anyway and cursed out the bride.

If they hadn’t thrown water on her, what if she had just drifted to sleep and no one noticed that she was in trouble until it was too late? Quite frankly your mother is not owed an apology after that behavior, she should just be grateful she’s alive after being so careless with her own health.

Your wife didn’t know she was sick, and didn’t try to publicly embarrass her as your title implies. The event happened in a hotel room where she had time to shower before getting her makeup done and going to the wedding.

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supermeg77 - Info: why haven’t you told your mom to start acting like an adult or you won’t contact her anymore? Or why won’t you break up with your wife, because honestly if you’re not adult enough to stand up to your mother, you’re not adult enough to get married?

Honestly or why won’t your wife break up with you for being spineless, instead of being petty af herself. This whole thing is a mess and you all need therapy. I’m glad your mom got to the hospital, now she needs to go see a different kind of professional, as do you and your wife.

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LucidOutwork - ESH. What. The. Hell. Holy s**t, your wife is an a**hole. But so are you for asking her to apologize in order to 'keep the peace'. She should apologize because what she condoned (dumping cold water on someone's head) was over the top rude and uncalled for under any circumstance.

[Reddit User] - YTA for asking her to apologize to 'keep the peace'.... It was a prank on a family that usually doesn't mind pranks... It just happened to be poorly timed and given your mother's previous track record of behaviors it was correctly assumed she was being dramatic and an ass...

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Again poorly timed... Your father needs to recognize this fact.... And move the f**k on .... And you need to stand up for your wife when your mother goes on her dramatic rant that she was 'bullied when she was near death'... Geezus

lavenderbl0d - Okay, here's the thing. I'm gonna need some more info, bc idk as an adult how disliking someone so much could escalate to this, so I am gonna need some more info about the relationship between your wife and mother. Bc it almost seems like your mom was or continued to be in direct competition with your wife for attention.

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HOWEVER, your wife and friend are assholes for doing that instead of pullinf your mother aside and addressing her behavior. BUT that is your job first, if the behavior was domineering and she was making things unpleasant it was your job to pull your mom aside and tell her to cut that s**t out. As for the blood infection?

How could they have known that she had that issue unless she knew and your father knew and they disclosed that info with you? The prank was petty and childish and your wife and the maid of honor were assholes for doing that. Your mother is a childish brat and an a**hole for her continual behavior, which seems like it has already gotten in the way of your relationship with your wife before the marriage was even a thing.

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So you two need to sit down and have a talk about how to approach your mother in a way that does not make your wife miserable, on top of establishing firm boundaries with both of them in regards to their behavior. Cuz it seems like everyone besides you in this situation is behaving like a child.. ESH in this tbh, sorry.

JemimaAslana - INFO. What colour dress was your mom wearing?

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These opinions cut deep, but do they fairly weigh the health scare? Reddit’s a fiery stage—let’s see if they balance it.

This tale weaves a knot of pranks, illness, and fractured bonds. The groom’s push for an apology sought harmony, but the prank’s fallout demands more than words. Could clearer boundaries have prevented this? It’s a dance of regret and reckoning. What would you do if a wedding prank backfired? Share your stories—how do you navigate family missteps?

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