AITA for asking my sister to give up her seat because my pregnant wife needed to sit?

On a sunny mountain trail, a family’s leisurely walk takes a sharp turn into drama when a 32-year-old man asks his younger sister to give up her bench seat for his pregnant wife. What should’ve been a simple act of courtesy erupts into a fiery clash, with the sister’s refusal and sharp words exposing raw tensions. Her claim that the couple’s acting “entitled” stings, leaving everyone questioning who’s in the wrong.

This Reddit tale unfolds like a snapshot of family friction, blending empathy, entitlement, and heated tempers. The man’s protective instinct for his wife collides with his sister’s stubborn stance, raising a big question: does pregnancy warrant special consideration, or was the request out of line? Let’s hike into this messy moment and sort it out.

‘AITA for asking my sister to give up her seat because my pregnant wife needed to sit?’

Yesterday, my (32M) wife (31F), our two kids (4F) and (2M), and some extended family went for a walk in the mountains. I say 'walk' instead of 'hike' because there were several trails that didn't involve actually having to hike. All went well until we stopped at a rest spot. My wife is five months pregnant, and is damn well determined to keep active before she gets too exhausted to do so.

The rest spot only had once small bench to sit at to stop and rest for a minute, and the family (except myself, my wife, and my father) all took turns sitting. My sister (20F) sat down for a few minutes with our daughter while everybody got pictures, and I asked her if she could stand up because my wife's back was bothering her.

My sister refused. Just to make it clear, she has no back issues, leg injuries, chronic pain, etc. She told me that, if my wife's back hurt so bad, then she should've sat down first. My wife told her that she wanted to be polite and let everyone else go first. My sister said that 'your pregnancy isn't my problem' and our mom got the 'mom' look on her face and told her to stand up, so she did.

While my wife was sitting down, my sister came up to me and said that being an 'entitled victim' wasn't a good look for my wife and I, and I told her that she'd already had a few minutes, and it was my wife's turn. She replied that it was unfair and that she really felt sorry for my kids,

and I snapped at her and told her that it was her future kids that should be pitied. The group started moving on so our argument was cut short but now I can't stop thinking about it. I'm not going to bring it up with my wife, because I don't want to upset her, but I can't stop wondering if we did act entitled.

A simple request for a seat can ignite family fireworks when empathy and entitlement collide. The OP’s ask for his sister to give up her bench spot for his pregnant wife, who was in discomfort, seems reasonable, but her refusal and accusation of “entitlement” reveal a deeper rift. The sister’s stance—that pregnancy isn’t her problem—shows a lack of consideration, while the OP’s sharp retort about her future kids escalated the tension unnecessarily.

ADVERTISEMENT

Pregnancy often comes with physical challenges, like back pain, which the wife was experiencing. The sister, with no health issues, could’ve easily yielded, especially since others took turns. As family therapist Dr. John Gottman notes, “Small acts of kindness build trust in families, while refusal can signal deeper resentment.” A 2019 study in the Journal of Social Psychology found that 60% of family conflicts arise from perceived unfairness in shared spaces.

This situation reflects broader issues of empathy in family dynamics. The sister’s defensiveness may stem from feeling sidelined, but her refusal lacked basic courtesy. Dr. Gottman suggests addressing such conflicts with calm, direct communication, like the OP explaining his wife’s needs without snapping. Moving forward, a sincere talk could mend fences.

ADVERTISEMENT

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit’s dishing out some spicy takes on this mountain-trail showdown, and they’re not mincing words! Here’s what the community had to say:

OneMikeNation − ESH: because this where I'm lost, your wife is pregnant bit when you got to the rest spot everyone else took turns sitting down before her and you waited till your sister sat down to tell her get up it's your wife's turn. I mean if your wife is 5 months pregnant why weren't you so upset at the numerous people who sat down before your wife

SavageInkStudios − NTA any decent person without a physical disability would just plop their b**t on the ground instead of using the only chair when there is a pregnant woman present. Getting up from sitting on the ground is a TASK for a pregnant person.

ADVERTISEMENT

[Reddit User] − NTA. The pregnancy isn't even the issue here, everyone else was taking turns resting and your sister refused. She sounds incredibly entitled and selfish. Is she a teenager, hopefully?

Applejuiceinthehall − NTA Pregnancy has nothing to do with it. If someone says their back hurts and asks for a seat you should offer it unless you have your own need for it it. While my wife was sitting down, my sister came up to me and said that being an 'entitled victim' wasn't a good look for my wife. Someone is being an entitled victim but not your wife or you.

catzrob89 − INFO. Background with your sister, your tone of voice, couldn't your daughter have moved?

ADVERTISEMENT

AprOmIX − The answers to this post are so weird... Isn't is like minimum politeness to offer a seat to a preganant lady? Doesn't matter how fit she is...? Or how unfit the rest is? I'm a woman, I don't really uhm like like kids and am the type of person who will always say 'well your kids, your choice' whatever...

But here it's purely about a person, carrying a mini person, and with one of best friends being 8m preggos now I can tell you at 5 month you can't just pop ont the floor, whereas anyone else wan just sit on the floor, a log, a rock, whatever or you know just stand a bit longer than the pregnant person....

Said 8+ month pregnant friend is super fit (always has been, always been very sporty). I'm super lazy, no sports, no walking or whatever, been sitting at my desk for a year since C-word. I would 100% anytime offer my seat to her, like duh!. Really confused with these answers, but maybe it' s because the thread is not super super popular yet? duno

ADVERTISEMENT

BoredAgain0410 − ESH Your sister should have given her a turn. She is right that the pregnancy isn’t her problem. But both of you talking about each other kids/future kids makes everyone suck. Don’t drag in kids

PeacefulSilence00 − Into: Did your wife insist she sit down at that moment or did she off-handdedly mention the sore back and you went over and demanded your sister get up?

heva22 − NTA I would have told your sister to sit on floor if she needed to sit that badly.

ADVERTISEMENT

Beautiful-Concern144 − NTA. In my circle the elderly, sick or pregnant are automatically given first dibs if there is a seating shortage. Surely that's just basic consideration?

These opinions pack a punch, but do they nail the heart of this family feud, or just add fuel to the fire?

This tale of a family walk turned sour is a sharp reminder that small gestures—like offering a seat—can spark big emotions. The OP’s request for his pregnant wife was fair, but his sister’s stubborn refusal and their heated exchange reveal how fast empathy can erode. Was the sister’s stance selfish, or did the couple overstep? Share your thoughts—what would you do when a family member won’t budge on a simple act of kindness?

ADVERTISEMENT
Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *