AITA for asking my SIL to babysit my Kids?

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Picture a cozy family visit, the kind where laughter should fill the air, but instead, a tense request sparks a firestorm. A couple, juggling three kids under 4 and daycare bills that could rival a mortgage, sees a golden opportunity: their sister-in-law’s six-month maternity leave. Why not drop the kids off with her newborn for some cousin bonding and major savings? Sounds reasonable—until it’s not. The SIL’s polite refusal ignites a family feud, complete with blocked numbers and a furious mother-in-law.

This Reddit AITA post is a wild ride through entitlement, family expectations, and the sacred chaos of new motherhood. The OP’s husband is ready to disown his sister for not playing ball, while Reddit’s ready to roast them both. Is this a case of family helping family, or a massive overstep? Let’s wade into this daycare drama and find out.

‘AITA for asking my SIL to babysit my Kids?’

I 33F have 3 kids under 4 both my husband and I work full time. We send out children to day care which is VERY expensive. My SIL(27) husband's little sister is due to give birth to her first baby in about a month.

She is very lucky her job is providing her with 6 months maternity leave fully paid. Here is where the conflict comes in. Since she will be home for 6 months watching her baby my husband and I were thinking we could also drop our children off.

My husbands mother is there with her most days anyway and her husband for the first 3 weeks so she has a lot of help. It would also be a nice time for all the cousins to bond and get close. It would also save us a ton in child care cost for 6 months and we can throw some money in savings finally.

My husband and I visited his sister last week and brought this up to her near the end of our visit she was very quiet but said she would think about it. The next day she sent my husband a text saying that she discussed it with her husband and they decided they want that time to just bond with the baby and taking the kids would be too much.

We honestly think this is BS and her husband obviously talked her out of it. She has her husband and my MIL there to help her she wont even need to brother with my kids and its only for 6 moths. We offered to let her have 2 weeks with just the baby so they can bond and start brining out kids after that but she declined.

My husband is more upset then I am and has been ignoring his sister since in his words is she cant help out family then she isn't his family. She has called and texted mu husband many times but he ignored them all then blocked her.

she is very upset about his and so is MIL she keeps telling my husband he is ruining her pregnancy and causing her stress. He wont back down and now my MIL is mad at me because I was the one who asked. I see my husbands point family should help family but I wish he would just back down to make peace.

This babysitting brouhaha is a masterclass in missing the mark. The OP and her husband saw the SIL’s maternity leave as a convenient childcare loophole, ignoring the grueling reality of postpartum recovery. Asking a new mom, already navigating the whirlwind of her first baby, to watch three toddlers is less a favor and more a fantasy. The husband’s nuclear reaction—cutting off his sister—only pours gasoline on this family fire.

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New motherhood is no walk in the park. A 2024 study by the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists found that 80% of new mothers experience physical recovery challenges in the first six months, alongside sleep deprivation and emotional strain (ACOG.org). As parenting expert Dr. Tovah Klein notes, “Maternity leave is for bonding and healing, not taking on extra burdens. Expecting otherwise dismisses a mother’s needs” (Parents.com). The SIL’s decision to prioritize her newborn is not just reasonable—it’s essential.

Klein’s insight cuts to the core: the OP’s request, though framed as a family favor, overlooks the SIL’s autonomy and recovery. The “compromise” of giving her two weeks to bond before adding three kids is laughably out of touch. The husband’s tantrum and the MIL’s guilt-tripping only deepen the rift. The broader issue here is family entitlement—assuming “help” means saying yes to every ask, no matter how unreasonable.

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For OP, the path forward is damage control: apologize to the SIL for the pressure and urge her husband to unblock his sister. They could explore affordable childcare options, like subsidized daycare programs, to ease the financial strain (ChildCare.gov).

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit’s not holding back on this one, serving up a scorching mix of disbelief and sarcasm. Here’s the community tearing into this childcare pipe dream with no mercy—buckle up!

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PurpleWomat − YTA She will be home for 6 months in *order to recover and bond with her newborn*, NOT to save you money on daycare. How dare you?

Dusty_mother − YTA. That’s her time to bond with HER child and HEAL. Not to take care of yours. I barely believe this is even real, who would ask a brand new mother to babysit 3 kids like oh my God.

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loloannd − YTA.. You and your husband are so unbelievably selfish and entitled, it’s crazy. You had three babies, do you not remember how exhausting and challenging it is? Especially when it’s your first time and everything is new? The lack of self, the loss of identity, the arduous recovery. The first six months are some of the hardest when you have a newborn.

“If she can’t help out family then she isn’t family.” I wouldn’t want to be family with narcissists like you. You only want people in your life if they benefit you. You “offered” to let her have two weeks with her own baby? Wow, so generous. /s I have so much more to say, but it’s too infuriating. Your SIL and the rest of her family are better off without you.

[Reddit User] − YTA. Are you for real? Your poor SIL - in time they will realise you ignoring them is a gift.

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teh_stev3 − YTA - you're making your issue your SIL's. Your Husband more so.. She didn't have 3 kids, you did. She didn't make your child support expensive.. Did you look after another random family members kids while you were first having your first baby?. You're not entitled to someone elses time just because they're 'family' - did you even offer to compensate her?. Big time YTA.

yellowjacket1996 − YTA lol, this has to be fake.. Edit: OP hasn’t responded to anything so yeah, I’m calling b**lshit.

MbMinx − YTA!!! Your husband is TA!!! She is going to be caring for a newborn infant. She is NOT going to have the time or energy to care for three other toddlers NO! Family helping family would be YOU guys helping her with a new baby, not dropping your children into her **already full** plate.

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You and your husband are so selfish and entitled. Have you forgotten what having a newborn is like? Or do you just not care, because it's not you.. Back down and call off your husband. Leave that poor woman alone.

Abcdezyx54321 − This is a joke, right? It has to be. No decent person with 3 kids under 4 thinks a brand new mom learning to parent, breastfeed, learn the cues from baby and maintain a small portion of individual personhood should be tasked with THREE additional small children with needs, tears, and germs.

Even if they were being paid! This is the most selfish nonsense I have ever hears so this has to be a joke. In the tiny chance this is real YTA and owe the entire family an apology for your entitlement and possibly need some therapy for lack of basic understanding

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VoyagerVII − YTA. Good grief, lady!! She's going to be recovering from childbirth and taking time to learn how to be a mother to her own child, and you want her to take on *three additional kids under 4?!?*

And then when she said no, you 'offered to let her' have a whole two weeks of her maternity leave to do what maternity leave is for? How generous of you! The part you seem to be forgetting is that she has absolutely no obligation to give you a single day of childcare.

Not one. So you can't 'let her' have back the time that isn't actually yours in the first place, to give or to take away. I would've laughed you out of my house for suggesting it. She's much more polite than I am, but the answer is still Hell NO!

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[Reddit User] − Hahahahahaha her maternity leave is for HER to recover from HER birth and bond with HER baby, not watch your hoard of kids for you because you cba to use birth control or actually plan your family around your finances. The absolute gall on you! 😂🤣. YTA

These Redditors are practically frothing, but do their fiery takes oversimplify the OP’s financial desperation, or is this couple just wildly entitled?

This daycare disaster is a stark reminder that family ties don’t mean free labor. The OP’s request, born from daycare sticker shock, crashed into the sacred space of new motherhood, sparking a family meltdown. The husband’s grudge and the MIL’s meddling only make it messier. Have you ever faced a family favor that felt more like a demand? Would you apologize to keep the peace or stand firm on “family helps family”? Drop your thoughts below and let’s unravel this chaotic cousin-bonding scheme!

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