AITA for asking my roommate to replace the groceries she keeps borrowing?
Living in a hostel room with two other girls, one woman kept noticing her groceries—eggs, butter, seasonings, biscuits, juice—disappearing, courtesy of roommate Leah. At first, she let it slide when Leah promised to pay back, but months passed with nothing replaced and more items vanishing.
After labeling new groceries and politely asking for respect, Leah fired back calling her selfish. The direct confrontation led to suggestions of bulk buying for “sharing” and threats of locking things up—now the vibe’s icy, and the third roommate thinks it could’ve been handled softer.
‘AITA for asking my roommate to replace the groceries she keeps borrowing?’
The issue started small but built up over time in their shared hostel room:
Things escalated after a fresh grocery run:
Shared living works on mutual respect, especially with personal items like food—it’s not communism unless agreed upfront. Leah’s “borrowing” without replacement is straight-up taking, eroding trust and fairness.
Relationship dynamics in close quarters often involve unspoken assumptions; one person mooches while another enables to avoid conflict. Boundaries expert Nedra Glover Tawwab stresses in Set Boundaries, Find Peace: clear communication early prevents resentment—labeling and asking politely was actually gentle.
If Leah wants communal supplies, propose a shared fund everyone contributes to equally. Otherwise, locking up isn’t extreme—it’s self-protection. The neutral roommate’s “more peaceful” suggestion often sides with keeping status quo, but peace at the cost of fairness isn’t real peace.
Here’s how people reacted to the post:
Pretty much unanimous NTA—folks called out the mooching hard and backed locking things up:
Most framed it as theft, not borrowing, and slammed the entitlement:
![[Reddit User] − NTA why tf should you be expected to "buy in bulk" if shes contributing nothing and not even compensating you for what she takes? ?](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/wp-editor-1767773403496-10.webp)
A few shared horror stories or petty revenge ideas, plus frustration at enablers:
Clear cut: Taking without replacing isn’t sharing—it’s mooching, and calling it out protects your stuff and sanity. Leah’s deflection screams entitlement.
Roommate woes hit everyone—ever dealt with a food thief who played victim? Go nuclear with locks or petty revenge? How do you set food boundaries without war? Dish your stories below!
