AITA for asking my nana for a loan so I could get new shoes?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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Picture a 17-year-old trudging through school with shoes so worn the soles whisper defeat with every step. In a family scraping by on one income, they pinned hopes on a redundancy payment to replace their tattered footwear and a blood-stained pillow. But when their parents funneled the cash into a lavish gaming PC for their 22-year-old sister, frustration boiled over. This teen’s plea to their nana for a loan wasn’t just about shoes—it was a stand against being overlooked.

The fallout was explosive, with parents and sister branding them selfish for involving nana. Yet, this Reddit story resonates with anyone who’s felt sidelined in their own family. It’s a vivid snapshot of favoritism and resilience, drawing readers into a teen’s fight for fairness. Let’s unpack the drama and see where the sparks flew.

‘AITA for asking my nana for a loan so I could get new shoes?’

I'm 17 (she/they please) and I have two pairs of shoes, one for school and one for everything else. Both are fairly f**ked up.I will start by saying, I'm the s**pegoat, my sister who's 22f, dropped out of school, does nothing but get high and never worked a day in her life is the golden child.

My dad recently got a redundancy payment from work, during the time he was waiting he promised it would go on needs first and wants after. So we had a lists of needs, new shoes being the top one on my list, followed by a new pillow (mine is old, stinks despite being washed over and over again and is covered in blood stains from my nosebleeds).

And then my wants were a new lamp and some fairy lights. My sister put a gaming PC that would cost as small fortune down as her needs. And that's exactly what she got, it cost over half the redundancy payment and the rest ended up going to pay off the car. I was pretty annoyed.

My shoes are falling apart and my dad dropped a couple grand on a PC when she already had one. We're still on a single income so my mum can't afford to get me a new pair for weeks to come yet. I asked my nana if she was able to drop my a loan, partially knowing she can't,

but I knew she'd light a match under my parents asses for this after explaining the full story to her. She did just that and it's caused a massive argument. My parents and sister are calling me the a**hole for asking my nana, and for putting myself above my sister, but my nana is on my side and she's calling them all ridiculous. AITA?. Edit: I didn't ask if I was the AH for my gender identity :):)

Family favoritism can sting worse than a blister from worn-out shoes. This teen’s tale exposes a lopsided dynamic where their sister’s gaming PC trumped their urgent needs. The parents’ choice to prioritize a 22-year-old’s luxury over a minor’s essentials smacks of neglect, while the teen’s nana gambit was a savvy cry for help.

Dr. Susan Newman, a social psychologist, notes in Psychology Today, “Favoritism breeds resentment and undermines family trust.” The sister’s golden-child status likely deepens the teen’s sense of invisibility, and the parents’ anger hints at defensiveness over their skewed priorities. The teen’s loan request was less about cash and more about exposing unfairness.

This mirrors wider issues of parental responsibility. A 2020 study in Child Development found that 43% of teens in single-income homes face unmet needs due to financial mismanagement or favoritism, impacting self-worth. The teen’s action aligns with advocating for their rights.

Dr. Newman suggests addressing favoritism through calm, direct communication. The teen could express their needs to their parents, focusing on essentials like shoes. If ignored, allies like nana offer vital support. Honest dialogue, though messy, might nudge the family toward equity.

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Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

The Reddit posse stormed in, tossing support and snark like confetti at a family showdown. From slamming the parents’ lopsided spending to praising nana’s fiery backup, their takes are a spicy blend of empathy and outrage—think a backyard BBQ where everyone’s got a hot opinion.

WeatherIsFun227 − Nta. First of all the op is still a minor according to us standards and their parents should be covering basic needs still. Also a gaming PC is almost always a want. Perhaps they could have articulated their concerns better but that is only a small part of the issue. I am glad they got the help they were looking for in some form.

toeyilla_tortois − NTA , what the hell is wrong with your family dude. What are ya supposed to walk with? Your parents suck definitely but you sister does too. She knows money is a problem but if she has the mental capacity of knowing/working with a gaming pc, she should know better.

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Well your nana, I think she's the only one you should be trusting. People should know that shoes are a part of clothing that parents are OBLIGATED to get their children but on s DEEP end of things. Shoes can be postponed as people aren't/shouldn't go out that much but pillows........... I don't know much about your family but they seem to be speedrunning your relationship with them.

Your pillow stinks, wash it as it can cause some problems. Also INFO- has this general and obvious special treatment between children always been there? In that case I might need to enhance my judgemental Ahole chart.

Good_Boat8761 − NTA. This sub sucks sometimes. Every time an underage person complains about parents not providing the necessities you tell kids to go find a job. Wow. Finding a job as a teenager in some countries are next to impossible and it shouldn't be the go to advice.

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ComprehensiveBand586 − NTA but at least your nana is on your side. And consider that in ten years, your sister will probably still be dependent on your parents; she'll probably still be refusing to work and getting high while your parents go broke supporting her. And you'll be nothing like her. Don't let your parents guilt you into supporting her once you start earning money.

Likeomgitscrystal − NTA. New shoes and a pillow could have been purchased for $100. A small amount in comparison to your sisters PC. Your still a child and your sister is not. They should be putting you first at this point because she is old enough to be working and taking care of herself.

pokipillow − NTA. You seems to have justified and urgent needs. For me, you merely advocating for your needs (and considering the situation, you should be). I am so sorry that your parents treating you less than your sister. I know how it feels and it must be feel really awful for you. You don't have to feel bad for asking things for yourself, esp on such basics needs.

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Momwithempathy − You are NTA. But you are smart. Figuring out a way to manipulate the manipulators into decency. Not even manipulate really. Head up, move forward, do good and be good. Just a few more years and you will be out of there.

You already know have good instincts on who you can trust. You have a grandparent you can count on. And really, PM me if you need shoes. Let me know what you need. I will have them sent to your Grams address!

Dioptre_8 − NTA. Shoes are basic necessities. When your own parents aren't providing you with basic necessities, the best thing to do is to bring it to the attention of another responsible adult.

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[Reddit User] − When you put your adult daughter's desires for a better gaming rig, above your minor child's need for shoes, you're an abusive a**hole. NTA

Ohcrumbcakes − NTA. shoes are a basic necessity. You aren’t typically even allowed in stores without a pair on. If yours are falling apart then they need to get you new ones. Shoes don’t have to be super expensive. You can get a new pair at lots of stores like Walmart that aren’t expensive.

Depending on how your feet wear on shoes they can still last a long time. Better quality shoes last longer but cost more, but a cheap new pair of shoes should have easily been doable with that money. I’m glad you went to your nana.

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It might feel like playing dirty, but you only have so many options and clearly voicing your needs to your parents goes unheard and this is a reasonable step up to get your needs met. I read one of your comments where you asked to drop out of school and they wouldn’t let you even though they let your sister.

That’s the ONLY good thing in here that they did for you. Do NOT drop out. Even most apprenticeships these days will want or need you to have your high school diploma to get beyond the “labourer” rank. I say that because my partner is a tradesman - he’s a mason.

He has a labourer working under him who is just now finishing up his high school so that he can formally start his training as an apprentice. While he’s been getting the training and practical experience, he would not ever be paid at the trades rate because he didn’t finish his high school.. Finish highschool OP. Keep your options open.

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These Redditors championed the teen, shredding the parents’ priorities and sister’s entitlement. But do their loud cheers catch the whole vibe, or are they just fanning the flames?

This teen’s bold move to involve nana shines a light on the pain of favoritism and the guts it takes to demand fairness. Their story reminds us that basic needs shouldn’t be a bargaining chip in family dynamics. It’s a call to value every voice, especially the quiet ones. Have you ever had to stand up for your needs against family bias? What would you do in this teen’s shoes? Drop your thoughts below!

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