AITA For asking my mom to help me with gas after she called in for me?

Imagine a crisp morning, the kind where you’re hustling to slip on your work shoes, only to be stopped dead in your tracks by your mom’s voice. For a 20-year-old woman, let’s call her Lily, this was no ordinary day. Her mother, in a surprising move, had called Lily’s workplace to say she was sick—news to Lily, who was perfectly fine and ready to clock in. Living together in a tight-knit but financially strained household, this curveball left Lily reeling.

Lily’s story, shared on Reddit’s AITA forum, paints a vivid picture of family boundaries stretched thin and a paycheck lost to a mother’s whim. When Lily asked for help with gas money to offset the missed shift, her mom’s dismissive response sparked a firestorm of debate. It’s a tale that tugs at the tension between love and responsibility, leaving readers wondering: where’s the line when family meddles with your livelihood?

‘AITA For asking my mom to help me with gas after she called in for me?’

I (20F) and my mom (58F) still live together. One morning I woke up and started getting ready for work. I go into our shared living room to get my shoes front under the bench we have beside the door only the my mom to say “what are you doing?” To which I respond “getting ready for work, why what’s up?”

She then says “oh you’re not going today, I called out for you” I thought she was kidding and kind of laughed and getting putting my shoes on. She then says “I’m not joking. I miss seeing you so I told them you were sick” (I wasn’t) Keep in mind we still live together.

I responded and said “then how am I supposed to have enough money for gas this week?” To which she responded “I don’t know, figure it out.” At this point I wasn’t very happy especially with that comment. So I asked “are you going to pay me the money I missed out on while not being at work?”

To which she responded “no, that is not my responsibility, why would you even ask that? You know how broke we are?” I just stood there kind of dumbfounded. AITA for expecting my mom to help with my gas after she called out of work for me?

Lily’s ordeal, with her mother unilaterally calling her out of work, highlights a breach of personal autonomy. Family therapist Dr. Virginia Satir once said, “Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated” . Here, Lily’s mother disregarded her need to earn, prioritizing personal desires over Lily’s financial stability.

The mother’s actions likely stem from a mix of emotional neediness and blurred boundaries, common in close-knit households. Lily, at 20, is navigating adulthood, yet her mother’s interference undermines her independence. A 2022 Pew Research study notes that 59% of young adults living with parents face challenges asserting autonomy [Source: Pew Research]. This dynamic explains Lily’s frustration when her gas money plea was dismissed.

Dr. Satir’s approach emphasizes clear communication. Lily could benefit from setting firm boundaries, like informing her employer that only she can call out. Moving forward, discussing household roles and financial contributions openly can prevent repeat incidents. Lily’s story underscores the importance of mutual respect in family dynamics, especially when money’s tight.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit’s crowd dove into Lily’s drama with a mix of outrage and wit, like neighbors gossiping over a picket fence. They dished out support for Lily’s plight and plenty of shade for her mom’s meddling. Here’s the raw pulse of the thread, buzzing with cheers and clever clapbacks:

centralizedskeleton − NTA. Then did you call work back and let them know you will be in and that your mom is not to be listened to or have any say?

Good_day_S0nsh1ne − Ummm you need a new job one where your mommy can’t call in for you. Also did you hang out with your mom that day?

Jealous_Scale − NTA. Your mom asked how it was her responsibility to pay for your gas. It's her responsibility because she was responsible for you not going into work.. Your mom said

celticmusebooks − You need to politely go to your mom's friend and tell them that your mom called you out without your knowledge and that it's causing you a TREMENDOUS financial hardship to where you're not sure how you'll be able to fill your car with gas to come to work next week.

TELL them that going forward ONLY YOU can call yourself out of work and that you would be extremely grateful if they could find you a shift for your next scheduled day off. Obviously, you should have left the house for the entire day so that your mom didn't benefit for her dishonesty-- and I would cut back on your financial contribution this week in the same amount as the take home pay she basically stole from you.. Isn't your mom normally this childish and irresponsible?

notabigpartier2000 − You need to move out. Your mother is interfering with your job and life.

LT_Dan78 − NTA. I'm sure she has something to sell around the house to make up for it. I'd also tell your employer, in writing, that your mom does not have authorization to call out for you unless she can prove that you are incapacitated.

trashwatcherlol − I didn’t even know parents can call out for their kids lol I would’ve just went to work and told my boss that my mom was trippin.

MarionberryOk2874 − ‘That’s not my responsibility, why would you even ask that’ Uhhhh….because *she called out for you* she basically decided you weren’t going to work today, so why *wouldn’t* it be her responsibility?! Is she slow?? But ultimately, your job is *your* responsibility, so you should have called them back and gone anyway. Sorry your mom is teaching you it’s ok to have a s**tty work ethic, if you don’t break this cycle, you’ll end up like her.

No_Philosopher_1870 − NTA,. I would have gone to work. If I'm broke and don't have sick leave, I can't afford to miss work, especially if I'm not sick. It's pretty low of her to mess with your income. There will be a fight soon about how you are not able to pay some bill because you don't have the money due to missing work.

Simple_Mix_4995 − Your mom has a problem, and it sounds serious. NTA

These Redditors brought their A-game, rallying behind Lily’s push for fairness or roasting her mom’s bizarre power play. Some urged Lily to reclaim her work autonomy; others questioned the household’s financial logic. Their lively takes capture the chaos of family ties and workplace woes, showing just how much Lily’s story resonates.

Lily’s clash with her mom serves as a chilly reminder that family love can sometimes cross into control. Her mother’s call-out cost Lily a day’s pay, and the refusal to help with gas money left a sting. Have you ever faced a family member meddling in your work or finances? How would you handle a parent who pulls a stunt like this? Drop your thoughts below and let’s unpack this family fiasco together!

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *