AITA for asking my husband to not eat lunch at night?

Charlotte Morse Hours
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Picture a kitchen at dusk, a weary mom stirring a pot of dinner, knowing it’s not just for tonight but for her husband’s lunch tomorrow. Yet, night after night, her carefully packed leftovers vanish into his late-night snack attacks, forcing pricey restaurant meals that tip their one-income family into the red. With two kids and a mountain of debt, she’s begging him to stop, but he brushes it off with a grin, saying her cooking’s just too good. Is she wrong to demand restraint, or is this a cry for financial survival?

This Reddit tale spills the beans on a family teetering on the edge, where a husband’s midnight munchies spark more than just compliments. With a history of gambling and legal woes, his lack of discipline isn’t just quirky—it’s a budget-buster. Reddit’s got plenty to say, so let’s dig into this domestic dilemma.

‘AITA for asking my husband to not eat lunch at night?’

We're a one income family. We have a 10yo and baby who's under a year old. I don't/can't work due to health/chronic pain issues. My husband works full time usually 35-40 hours a week. When I cook dinner, I make enough so my husband has leftovers to take to work the next day.

He has the habit of eating what's supposed to be his lunch as a large night time snack before bed. We have plenty of stuff he can snack on or heat up that's not his lunch for the next day. Then he ends up eating out instead and he hates fast food so he spends $20-$25 on lunch each day he eats his lunch as a snack.

This adds up and makes money tighter for us. I get its his income but it's affecting the entire family. I've asked him to not eat his lunch as a snack but he says he loves my cooking and can't help it and I should feel complimented he enjoys it so much.

I do appreciate he likes what I cook so much, but I also like knowing our bills will all be paid and we can afford gas, groceries, household supplies, and stuff for the kids without being in the red each week.. AITA?

Edit: if I make more for dinner he will have 3rd/4th helpings. I do the grocery shopping and try to get everything I can on his snack list, he will still eat his lunch as a snack. Hubby is a recovering gambling addict and currently owes $100k in back taxes that I'm trying to also budget to pay towards each month.

He currently works in retail making around $40k a year. He has a masters in economics and used to make $200k+ but some bad decisions in life messed that up and he ended up in legal trouble and can no longer work in his former industry.

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A late-night snack shouldn’t break the bank, but this husband’s habit of eating his packed lunch is doing just that. The wife, managing a one-income household with two kids and $100k in tax debt, faces financial strain from his $20-$25 daily restaurant splurges. His excuse? Her cooking’s too good to resist. Financial expert Dave Ramsey notes, “Financial peace comes from living within your means and making intentional choices”. His impulsivity undermines their stability.

This issue reflects broader challenges in single-income families. A 2022 Pew Research study found 60% of Americans live paycheck to paycheck, with discretionary spending like dining out a key culprit. The husband’s past gambling addiction and legal troubles suggest deeper impulse control issues, making his snacking a symptom of bigger problems.

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Ramsey’s advice emphasizes transparent budgeting. The wife could sit him down with a spreadsheet showing the $2,880–$3,600 yearly cost of his habit—enough for a family vacation. Portioning lunches separately or packing alternative snacks might help, but addressing his impulsivity is key. Couples counseling could uncover root causes.

Practical steps include labeling lunches clearly and setting a strict budget for eating out. If he resists, she might take over financial management to protect their kids’ needs.

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Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit served up a feast of reactions, from budget breakdowns to blunt calls for the husband to grow up. Some see a deeper pattern of irresponsibility—here’s the unfiltered dish:

IamIrene - NTA. Having been in this position, the only thing that worked was sitting my husband down and actually showing him the numbers. Say he's eating out 3 x's a week, that's $60 - $75 dollars per week, or $240 - $300 per month! $2,880 - $3,600 per year! Gurl...that's a family vacation.

That he's EATING! That's a full month's (or more) rent/mortgage! Simply because he won't save dinner leftovers for lunch and stop eating out. Lay out the actual cost of his snacking and give him a reality shock. It might help put things in perspective for him.. Good luck!

SaorsaAgusDochas - Wow you really buried the lede here with the fact that this man **owes $100,000 in back taxes and had a previous gambling addiction.**. There is absolutely zero reason he should be eating out with that much debt owed.

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Jesus in a Prius. Also he should learn some self-control. All these suggestions of portioning out 2 meals… just no. This grown ass man needs to learn to restrain his impulsivity and leave his homemade lunch alone.. NTA

RiddleAA - We’re a one income family with my wife being home with the kids - I either take leftovers or I eat pbjs because the amount of $ wasted on take out lunch daily is absolutely absurd. Talking hundreds a month.. I don’t need to eat sandwiches or leftovers, but I recognize that it would be unfair for the fam and wife if I was spending hundreds on restaurants to myself

Fuzzy-Constant - NTA but rephrase it from 'don't eat lunch at night' to 'stop buying lunch at restaurants.' How he makes that happen is up to him.

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blockstreet_ceo - This has nothing to do with larger dinners. The husband just wants to eat out. That's his thing.. He has no intention of taking a packed lunch.

ParsimoniousSalad - NTA. Your husband is being irresponsible. And it's both of your money because you are caring for the children and household for both of you just as he is caring for the income for all of you. Come up with a solution together.

Either make more food when you cook and portion out 2 'lunches' worth' for the fridge, or (if he just enjoys eating out) plan for the whole family to enjoy going out much less often than his every day, or learning not to eat huge amounts at night before bed, or something else.. EDIT: and maybe you should take over management of the finances and set a budget?

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SomethingClever70 - Oh, OP, you buried the lede on this one. You’re sweating the 2,000-3,000 he spends on lunches in a year, when you gloss over the heavy debt, his gambling and the job loss due to “bad decisions“ (like maybe embezzlement?).

The problem isn’t simply his eating habits or poor planning. He’s a complete and total train wreck, and you have decided to stick with him.. It won’t get better. I’d run like the wind.. NTA, but please get therapy and a good divorce lawyer.

ballbrewing - Info: what does this guy buy for $20-25 if he doesnt like fast food? Like he goes and gets a sit down meal at a restaurant ?

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Hangingwithoscar - Your husband sounds like a child. He is clueless about your budget and what you're trying to do and like any boy, he doesn't really care because he gets to continue with his behavior. Nobody stops him. Stop cooking extra and fix him a sandwich in the morning he can take to work.

gitsgrl - Sounds like he has a financial crimes record and can’t support his family enough to eat. You’re propping up this loser and he can’t control himself enough to not overeat before bed.

These comments are spicy, but do they oversimplify a complex marriage? Can a couple overcome such financial friction, or is this a recipe for disaster?

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This isn’t just about a late-night snack—it’s about a family’s fight to stay afloat. Her husband’s love for her cooking is sweet, but his lack of restraint is souring their future. Can they find a way to balance indulgence with responsibility? Have you ever faced a partner whose habits drained your wallet? Share your stories—how do you keep love and money from clashing?

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