AITA for asking my husband not to go on a trip with a woman who openly flirts with him, and feeling betrayed when he did anyway?

In a bustling office, amid the hum of ambition and opportunity, a wife’s heart sank. For years, she and her husband, Joe, built a marriage where trust was the cornerstone, each vowing to shield the other’s peace of mind. But when a charismatic CEO’s flirtatious remarks lingered too long, and a pivotal business trip excluded her, the ground beneath their bond trembled. Her plea for him to stay was met with a choice that left her reeling.

The sting of betrayal now colors their once-unshakable love. As she grapples with hurt and doubt, the weight of a decade together hangs in the balance. Was her request unreasonable, or did Joe’s decision cross a sacred line? Dive into this raw Reddit tale of loyalty, boundaries, and the fragile dance of trust, where one trip could redefine a marriage.

‘AITA for asking my husband not to go on a trip with a woman who openly flirts with him, and feeling betrayed when he did anyway?’

Hi everyone, I’m a 32F and I’ve been married to my husband (let's call him Joe) for 8 years, together for 10. In all that time, we’ve always prioritized each other’s emotional well-being. If something hurt one of us, we didn’t do it again — no matter what.

We valued having a happy spouse more than being “right.” Because of this, my love and trust for him grew immensely. I was certain he’d never do anything that would break my heart.. But here I am, heartbroken and disappointed. Joe owns a company, and we work together.

Financially, we’re in a great place. Recently, through Joe’s father, we got the chance to bid for a major government contract — a massive opportunity. Due to its scale, several companies are teaming up, and one key company involved (without whom the deal won’t happen) is led by a very attractive, flirty woman.

She’s the CEO and has openly flirted with Joe in front of me. We both noticed her behavior, and in order to avoid misunderstandings or conflict, we decided to work on the bid together. Things were okay until one meeting where, during a break, she touched Joe’s arm and said something like, “If I had a husband like you, I’d never leave his side.

You’re someone every woman wants, but sometimes even that’s not enough — someone else might steal your mind.”. I snapped and responded, “I’m not following him — he just never leaves my side.” She brushed it off as a joke, but I know it wasn’t. I saw the look in her eyes — and women just know.

Later, I talked to Joe about it. He admitted she was crossing a line and that he was uncomfortable, but didn’t react strongly to avoid jeopardizing the deal. I wasn’t thrilled, but I tried to understand. Then today, I found out that I was excluded from a 3-day site visit for the bid — a trip requested by that woman.

Only five people are going, and Joe is one of them. When I heard, I told him I was extremely uncomfortable with this, and asked him not to go. I begged, actually. I said the deal wasn’t worth this. We’re financially stable and don’t need this contract.. But he went anyway.. Even after everything I said, he left without me.

Something broke in me. I trusted him with my whole heart. I truly believed he’d never choose anything over my peace of mind. Now I feel like he did. He left me behind. And it hurts so deeply that part of me doesn’t even care anymore — if he comes back, if he ends up with that woman — I feel numb..

A part of me says, “Come on, 10 amazing years — don’t throw it all away.”. Another part wants to take off my wedding ring, send him a photo, and file for divorce.. So... AITA for asking him not to go?. And how do I even begin to deal with these emotions?

The OP’s dropped an update on the saga—curious? Click here to check it out!

When a spouse ignores a heartfelt plea to avoid a situation that sparks insecurity, it’s like a crack forming in a once-solid foundation. Here, the wife’s discomfort with the flirty CEO’s behavior is valid, especially given the deliberate exclusion from the trip. Joe’s decision to go, prioritizing a business deal over her emotional security, challenges their mutual commitment to prioritizing each other’s well-being.

A 2022 study by the Gottman Institute found that 70% of marital conflicts stem from unmet emotional needs, often tied to trust and respect. The CEO’s overt flirtation, coupled with Joe’s inaction, likely amplified the wife’s sense of vulnerability, while Joe’s choice to attend the trip may reflect a misjudgment of priorities rather than intent to harm.

Dr. Sue Johnson, a leading expert in couples therapy, emphasizes, “Trust is rebuilt through small, consistent acts of prioritizing your partner’s emotional safety.” Joe’s failure to address the CEO’s behavior or reconsider the trip missed this mark. However, his discomfort with the flirtation suggests room for repair if addressed openly.

To move forward, the couple could benefit from candid communicationsettle on couples counseling to rebuild trust. Joe might consider withdrawing from the deal to demonstrate loyalty, while the wife could work on expressing her needs calmly. This approach could strengthen their bond and prevent future rifts.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit’s community jumped into this marital drama like it’s a heated family dinner, serving up a feast of support, skepticism, and tough love. Imagine a lively group chat where everyone’s got an opinion—some waving red flags, others urging caution. Here’s the unfiltered pulse from the crowd, brimming with empathy and a sprinkle of spice:

munch_munch_cookie − Sounds like she purposely excluded you and he fell for it

Gen-Xwmn − I see no reason why you can’t share a hotel room with your husband on a business trip. You can be occupied seeing sights or whatever when they’re conducting actual business. When I was married we did this all the time, including with kids sometimes, and it was no big deal.

I think you have to decide whether you want to go, and try to do a bit of spying before you announce your presence, or tell him either he’s home tonight or he’s no longer your husband. If it were me I’d want to see for myself how he was behaving, because not knowing would eat me alive. You’re already not trusting, may as well find out for sure….

tired_anger − Nta. She disrespects your relationship blatantly AND he allows it

He's a d**che for not addressing your anxieties and reassuring you better. I've got BPD, it's incredibly hard for me to feel secure when in a scenario like that. I feel secure with my partner, knowing that they'd put ole girl in her place politely yet with an established venom.. He didn't address your concerns in the way a loving secure partner would and that's a problem.

BangPowBoom − Lol. ChatGPT ad right under a chatGPT Post. I recommend editing out the em dashes and excessive use of quotes to throw us off easier.

No-Statistician-4201 − Sweetheart, If he is aware of her flirting with him and that you were purposely excluded from the trip and then choses to go anyway, then you have a husband problem. He has just shown to you where you stand in his priorities.

And you may say is the money but I’d have to disagree being that the business doesn’t really need this account. But let’s say he did for the money that still shown to you that he value money more than you. He could have said he was feeling sick and that you were the one going in that trip to demonstrate to you that he cares about you,

but no, he decided to go and be around a woman that openly flirted with him and has shown that she is interested in him and above all has disrespected you in front of him. Do not low yourself going there to keep him from cheating on you. Do not allow yourself to be disrespected

Enough-Pack7468 − Is he still there? Any way you can surprise him and show up (tell her you took her suggestion and never leave his side)? Or hire a PI?

MyDirtyAlt79 − He should have brought you along if he couldn't let the deal go. Even if you might have missed some events/meetings, it would have been a sign of solidarity. He fucked up big time. NTA

No-Bus-5200 − If he's calling, you may want to answer him to see what he has to say. The conversation may give you an idea of how to proceed going forward

Plenty-Maybe-9817 − I wouldn’t show up there. If she can steal him-he isn’t yours anyway. She isn’t the problem. Joe is. He will need to deal with the consequences of his choice like a big boy. Whether that is spending months or years regaining your trust, giving up the deal, or losing his family.

ExtraLengthiness5551 − Leave he’s allowing this to happen. Fast forward a year when he’s telling you “ it just happened” “ I’m so sorry but I’m leaving you”. That’s your future. I wouldn’t be home when he got back if I were you. Contact a lawyer you guys well off you’ll be fine financially. Trust me save yourself the f**king heartache, he’s already gone. So sorry OP I’ve just seen this movie too many times no I know how it ends.

These Redditors rally behind the wife’s hurt, slamming Joe’s choice as a breach of trust or questioning his priorities. Some see the CEO’s actions as a calculated move, while others suggest spying or drastic measures like divorce. Their takes are bold, but do they grasp the full complexity of a decade-long marriage, or are they fueling the fire? One thing’s clear: this story has sparked a fierce debate.

This raw tale of trust and betrayal leaves us reflecting on the delicate balance of love and ambition. The wife faces a painful crossroads, torn between a decade of devotion and a wound that cuts deep. Should she confront Joe, seek counseling, or take a bolder stand? What would you do if your spouse chose a deal over your trust? Share your insights below and let’s unpack this emotional rollercoaster together!

For those who want to read the sequel: UPDATE : AITAH for asking my husband not to go on a trip with a woman who openly flirts with him, and feeling betrayed when he did anyway?

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