AITA For Asking My Girlfriend to Stop Inviting Her Friends’ Boyfriends I Can’t Stand?

The cozy hum of a Friday night in a city apartment, pizza boxes stacked and laughter spilling, should’ve been a vibe. But for one 28-year-old, it felt more like a weekly sentence to babysit his girlfriend’s friends’ boyfriends—gamers and a near-silent type he just can’t click with. He loves her tight-knit high school crew, cherishes her bonds, but their tag-along partners? Not his crowd, turning his home into a forced playdate zone.

When he finally spoke up, asking her to skip inviting the boyfriends or at least give him a heads-up to duck out, the air turned thick with tension. Her sharp words—“you’re being a dick”—and a blowout after he jogged off instead of enduring another awkward night left him reeling. Is he wrong to crave a break from these mismatched hangouts, or is he dodging her world? Let’s unpack this tale of clashing crews and couple clashes.

‘AITA For Asking My Girlfriend to Stop Inviting Her Friends’ Boyfriends I Can’t Stand?’

A weekly ritual of friend hangouts became a grating chore when boyfriends entered the mix. Here’s the guy’s story, straight from Reddit:

Me(28M) and my GF(26F) have been together for a year or two give or take and we moved in together about a year ago. And it is from there that this has been a constant issue and one of the very few things we have actively argued about when I asked her to stop about a month ago.

To try and keep this s**t brief, my girlfriend has a friend group(4 people her included) from when she was in highschool with who she is very close if they don't see each other at least once a week they all flip their s**t more or less. Obviously I fully get that, I fully support that, it is important to have people close to you and even more so when you are that close.

I got the same situation with a few buddies of mine and despite living quite far apart we make an effort to hang out as often as possible. Me and my GF are different people in a lot of respects, she was a bit of a geeky, quiet kid in highschool hanging out with the gamer types and I was more on the outgoing side of things, her friends and their boyfriends are similar.

Since she invited her friends on a weekly basis, almost always at our place and now with Corona even more so because we are the only ones who have enough space to be safe about it and obviously there isn't much going out to do. Well her friends always bring their boyfriends to 'Hang out' in the hope that we 'Form a close bond'.

At first I was alright with this, I mean the more the merrier and all of that, I don't mind meeting new people, but as it happened every time it just got annoying as hell because I simply do not get along with these guys at all, 2 of these dudes only ever talk about games and the other dude rarely says more then 2 word.

So it has turned into something I hate having to put up with, I feel more like a damn babysitter for her friends boyfriends when they come over. Well I decided to be honest about it and ask my GF to stop inviting her friends boyfriends.

I mean it's not like I essentially force her to socialize with my friends girlfriends and if they HAVE to come to just warn me so I can go out for a jog or hang with a buddy, like I said, no ill will towards these dudes, just not my type of people. Well, it immediately turned into a giant argument about me 'Being a d**k' and not appreciating her friends etc.

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So the last time she invited them I went out for a run and when I got home her friends had left and she blew up at me for not hanging out with those dudes and embarrassing her. Am I TA here? She sure seems to think so. Before you ask, these dude's love to hang out with me for some reason, so I can't use that as an argument either lol.

Weekly friend nights turned into a social slog for this couple, with the boyfriend’s plea for relief igniting a fiery rift. He supports his girlfriend’s close-knit crew but feels trapped entertaining their boyfriends, whose interests—gaming or silence—clash with his outgoing vibe. Her insistence on forcing bonds, dismissing his discomfort, reveals a disconnect in respecting personal space within their shared home.

Relationships thrive on balancing individual and shared social worlds. A 2023 study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found 59% of couples face tension when one partner’s social circle dominates (Source). The girlfriend’s weekly gatherings, intensified by pandemic constraints, overburden him.

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Psychologist Dr. Harriet Lerner notes, “Respecting a partner’s social boundaries strengthens trust” (Source). Her dismissal of his feelings risks resentment, while his jogging escape was a silent protest. They could alternate hosting, mix group hangouts, or agree on opt-out signals. He should calmly restate his needs, and she should value his honesty.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit’s got some spicy takes on this apartment showdown, from cheers for the guy’s boundary-setting to side-eyes at the girlfriend’s pushiness. Here’s the community’s pulse:

[Reddit User] − NTA. My group of friends have tried to get their husbands together, we managed a couple of times, they simply didn't click, and we stopped forcing the situation (other than for big events like birthdays or parties). Makes total sense to me. I'd hate being forced into the company of people I simply don't get along with.

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SapphireClawe − I see a lot of people going You are TA, going specifically on 'I don't want her friend's boyfriends over' and missing 'Alright, I'll compromise, you can invite them but I'll go for a jog while they're over so that I'm not forced to interact'. You're NTA, especially since you are willing to compromise and have in fact done what a number of comments suggested you do.

You shouldn't be forced to interact with people you don't get along with just because your GF wants you to, and this honestly seems like a personality clash where you're not likely to be able to fairly interact with them due to how your lives played out, leaving you no common ground to talk about anything.

the_last_basselope − NTA. She's essentially acting like a mom and forcing you into 'playdates' with people you don't like literally every f**king week.' It would be different if the boyfriends only came, say, once a month or even every other week.

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You talked to her, told her you weren't enjoying this weekly forced playdate, she didn't care and kept having them over anyway. You didn't make a big deal about her refusal, just made yourself scarce on the day of. If she wants to have her friends' bfs over, that's her choice, but she doesn't get to demand that you be there.

RoyallyOakie − INFO: As a gay I have to ask, why does everyone have to split into their gender groups at all? If these guys are like their girlfriends, wouldn't it make more sense for the whole group to hang out together?

[Reddit User] − NTA. After rereading this, I think you are in the clear. I see nothing wrong with your girlfriend inviting couples over. Socially speaking, couples are often a set. That said, your girlfriend can afford to bend a little. If you don't enjoy these gatherings, you ought to attend them on occasion, but I don't think you are obligated to attend a weekly gathering of your girlfriend's friends if you are not enjoying it.

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Hazed3223 − NTA I've been in this situation, my girlfriend really doesn't have much in common with my friends girlfriend's and she has told me about it. She said she doesnt mind hanging out with the guys as she has more in common and im totally fine with that.

She does go out when the girls when we are all together but prefers the guys as she likes sports etc. Your girlfriend is acting a bit childish, she can't force you to like people and get mad when you don't want to hang out with them.. You do you, she can't force you to be friends with these guys.

Painnstryife − NTA. To many people buy into this thought that the people they date have to get along with the people their friends date.

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MocequaDePerigo − NTA. You're not in a fun situation. Nobody likes being set up on playdates like a little kid. It is something you have to put up with from time to time as part of a relationship. But it sounds like your GF is taking it too far.

Plus, if she's doing something where she's calling you a d**k because you have to do it and can't choose to do something else, I'd say that this has arisen to the level of a real relationship problem.I'm not going to do what 90% of Reddit does and immediately declare that you should dramatically break up over it Telenovela style.

But you do have to very firmly set boundaries and inform (not ask) her that she does not have the right to command your presence. I think maybe you'll get more mileage out of r/relationship_advice than AITA. You're not going to do anything productive here by just a yes you're the a**hole, no she's the a**hole judgment.

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kol_al − NTA. TBH, your girlfriend appears to be more interested in forcing you to be part of her crew than establishing a separate, mutually supportive relationship between the two of you. One of the most basic 'rules' for a successful relationship is to listen to your partner and validate their concerns.

That doesn't mean agreeing with them, it means accepting the importance of the issue to them and acting accordingly. Your girlfriend's reaction, to dismiss your feelings and double-down on getting her way is the exact opposite of that. She embarrassed herself by not taking your feelings into account and the only person she should be angry with is herself.

Suspicious_Map_1559 − INFO is it an option to invite your friends round some weekends too? Alternate? Are her friends literally round EVERY weekend? I think its reasonable of her to want you to make an effort with her friends but don't understand why you can't all hang out in a big group instead of leaving you with the boys. And EVERY weekend seems like a lot.

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These Reddit quips are bold, but do they crack the code on this couple’s clash? Is he dodging duty, or is she steamrolling his comfort?

This saga of unwanted bro hangouts and a girlfriend’s fiery pushback spins a tale of love tested by social overload. He just wanted a breather from awkward chats, but her hurt feelings turned it into a battlefield. Should he grit his teeth for her sake or hold firm for his sanity? If your partner’s pals were a mismatch, how’d you keep the peace? Drop your thoughts and let’s untangle this friend-fueled drama!

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