AITA for asking my girlfriend if she could tell her sister to cover up?

Sunlight spills across a backyard, laughter mingling with the scent of marshmallows toasting over a crackling fire. A young man, eager to host a kid-friendly get-together, envisions a perfect day of s’mores and smiles. But a nagging worry about one guest’s wardrobe choice sparks a heated clash with his girlfriend, leaving the party quieter than planned. Caught between courtesy and a clumsy comment, he wonders if his concern for the kids crossed a line, stirring a debate about freedom and propriety.

The tension unfolds as he navigates his girlfriend’s fierce defense of her sister’s style, revealing deeper questions about boundaries and judgment. Readers can’t help but lean in, curious about who’s right in this backyard saga. Was his request reasonable, or did he stumble into a social faux pas? Let’s dive into his story, the community’s reactions, and what experts say about this delicate dance of decorum.

‘AITA for asking my girlfriend if she could tell her sister to cover up?’

Me 25M and my girlfriend 28F have been dating for over a year. She spends alot of time at my house but doesn't live there. I host get togethers alot and since the weather was nice, I did something outdoors. Her younger sister who is I think 20 or 21, I will say it like it is, has really big boobs.

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She's comes to alot of my get togethers and no matter what the weather is, she wears a low cut tank top or a crop top. At most of my get togethers, it's usually JUST adults. I've never said anything to her because she's an adult and everyone at my get togethers are adults.

This get together, I told my siblings and some friends to bring their kids because I bought smores for them to make. I told my girlfriend that I was expecting kids to show up and if she had any ideas to make it more fun for kids and she could ask her sister. That's when I remembered her sister wears revealing shirts.

I asked if her sister would be coming and she said yes. I asked if she could ask her sister if she could wear something a little bit less revealing because kids will be there with parents. She said no, she's allowed to wear what she wants. I said I understand that but I just don't want anyone to say anything bad about her.

My girlfriend says I'm not allowed to decide that. Also that I'm an a**hole for blatantly saying her sister has big boobs. My girlfriend or her sister didn't show up and I felt terrible.. I really didn't mean it that way but I guess it came out that way.. AITA ?

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Navigating family gatherings can feel like tiptoeing through a social minefield, especially when attire becomes the topic. The Reddit user’s request, though well-intentioned, collided with the principle of personal autonomy. His girlfriend’s sister, known for her bold fashion, faced scrutiny not for her actions but for her body’s natural shape—a common plight for women with prominent features. The conflict highlights a clash between protecting a family-friendly vibe and respecting individual expression.

This situation reflects a broader societal issue: women’s clothing is often unfairly policed. According to a 2019 study by the Pew Research Center, 59% of women report experiencing gender-based harassment, including comments on appearance. The Reddit user’s focus on his girlfriend’s sister’s body inadvertently fed into this dynamic, escalating the tension.

Dr. Deborah Tannen, a communication expert, notes, “Misunderstandings often arise when intentions are misread, especially in sensitive discussions about appearance”. Here, the man’s blunt phrasing turned a concern into an insult, alienating his girlfriend. His intent to shield kids clashed with her defense of her sister’s freedom, revealing a communication gap.

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To move forward, he could apologize for his wording while explaining his intent, fostering open dialogue. Setting event guidelines neutrally—focusing on general attire expectations rather than singling out individuals—could prevent future friction. Respecting personal choice while addressing parental concerns requires delicate balance, but clear, empathetic communication is key.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit didn’t hold back, serving up a platter of candid takes with a side of sass. Here’s what the community had to say about this wardrobe showdown:

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TransFattyAcid − YTA Yeah, I get it, but well-endowed girls put up with this crap all the time. They can buy the same exact shirt as a smaller-chested woman and be told it's inappropriate.

They can reveal the same percentage of boob or sternum and, again, it's obscene somehow. To make matters worse, you were doing this at a leisure time activity when she should be able to be herself and and it was completely unprompted by the parents.

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Myfeesh − YTA, maybe unpopular but please explain how boobs are harmful?

[Reddit User] − YTA. Don't. Police. Women's. Clothing.

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[Reddit User] − YTA.. If people “say things about her,” you should stand up for her.. But that’s probably not the real reason.

mostlyjustlurkin − YTA and a sanctimonious one at that. Oh no think about the children! They may find out that grown women have breasts and belly buttons! HOW SCANDALOUS

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Adventurous_Coat − YTA. Busty women always get this s**t. Oh no, bewbs, will someone think of the children?

Chance_Safe_9132 − YTA. Stop overly sexualising women’s bodies, you shouldn’t dictate what she wears.

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DietyLink − Boobs exist. Everyone knows this. As long as she isn't taking her top off in front of a bunch of kids, it shouldn't be an issue. YTA. Edit: as long as she isn't*, that was probably the worst word to have missed before lol

sparkledotcom − YTA. Kids don’t care.

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BendingCollegeGrad − YTA As someone with generous chest missiles I have news: we can’t exactly disguise them. If I wear a sweater it looks like two dachshunds taking a nap in there. What do you want her to wear? Even in a t-shirt people stare. And what if there is swimming? Want her to wear a shirt then?. Boobs are what they are. Mind your business. And your guests should mind theirs.

These hot takes from Reddit cut straight to the chase, but do they capture the full picture? Some see a prudish overreach, while others sense a deeper motive. Either way, the debate is as lively as a backyard barbecue.

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This backyard blunder shows how quickly good intentions can spark a feud. The Reddit user’s concern for a kid-friendly vibe stumbled over clumsy words, leaving him to ponder his misstep. It’s a reminder that communication matters as much as intent. What would you do if you were hosting and faced a similar dilemma? Share your thoughts—have you ever navigated a tricky family clash over style or expectations?

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