AITA for asking my friend to leave after making fun of me for “talking” to my dead dad?

In a quiet suburban home, a young woman’s soft “good morning” to her late father’s ashes carries the weight of unspoken grief. For her, these small moments are a lifeline, a way to hold onto the man who was her best friend. But when a guest—someone she trusted—turns this tender ritual into a punchline, the sting of betrayal cuts deep. What happens when personal coping meets public mockery? This Reddit tale unravels a clash of sensitivity and insensitivity, leaving readers to ponder: where’s the line between a joke and a wound?

The story sparks curiosity about navigating grief in shared spaces. How do you balance hospitality with self-respect when someone crosses a boundary? With raw emotion and a touch of drama, this narrative invites us to explore the delicate dance of friendship, loss, and standing up for what matters.

‘AITA for asking my friend to leave after making fun of me for “talking” to my dead dad?’

Me(F20). Friend(F19). Now to explain what I mean by “talking”, my father passed away earlier this year, not long after my birthday. It was obviously a very painful time for me, as my father was my best friend, I ended up developing a habit of talking to his ashes as a way to comfort myself, yes I know it sounds strange,

but it helped deal with losing him, and it wasn’t like I had whole imaginary conversations that went on for hours and hours, I would just say “good morning/goodnight” when I woke up/went to bed, occasionally I would sit and talk and say that I missed him and I hope he’s happy wherever he was, or simply complain about something stupid that happened.

As I said, I know it’s weird, I’ve been seeing a therapist but it’s been less then a year since he passed so it’s gonna talk me a bit longer to really adjust and heal. Now a friend needed a place to crash for a few days and I talked to my mom (I live with her because I take care of her) and we both agreed as it was only a few days and my friend had just tested negative.

Well on the second morning of my friends 6 day stay, she noticed me saying good morning to my dad, she made a face in which I didn’t pay much attention to, and the day carried on as normal, well the same night I again said goodnight to him and this time she said something.

She mentioned how she found it really strange that I talked to him, I apologized Incase I weirded her out and explained it was just a way of coping and I’d try not to do it in front of her, we left it at that and I went to bed. About mid-day on the 4th day of her staying over, she was busy cooking,

and her phone kept pinging so she asked me to look at her phone and see what the texts where about, so I unlocked her phone just to take a glance and tell her, it was some group chat thing, the conversations where relatively normal but someone had asked her “are u still staying with that girl who thinks she can talk to the dead lmao”.

Which made me realize they meant me, I scrolled up a little ways on the group chat and I won’t get too into what they said but she avidly made fun of me for talking to my dad, and her friends thought it was hilarious as well, I was peeved and confronted her about it, she told me to not have a stick in my b**t,

and it was just some jokes, I told her I wanted her to apologize and she refused, I asked her again and told her that something like this isn’t something I’m okay with people joking about, again she refused so I kicked her out (it went down more complexly then I’m explaining it but this is already long so I’m trying to shorten it).

Now some of our mutual friends are saying I’m an a**hole for kicking her out during a pandemic, and to be honest it do feel kinda bad because I feel like I was overreacting, other friends are on my side but I don’t know if I was right or wrong for this, I know I can get over emotional about things half the time. AITA?

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Grief can feel like carrying an invisible weight, and for this young woman, talking to her father’s ashes is a small but meaningful way to lighten it. The friend’s mockery, however, turned a private ritual into a public joke, exposing a rift in empathy. Dr. Alan Wolfelt, a renowned grief counselor, notes, “Grief is as individual as a fingerprint. What helps one person may seem unusual to another, but it’s the heart’s way of healing” (Center for Loss). This insight underscores the woman’s need for her coping mechanism to be respected, not ridiculed.

The friend’s refusal to apologize highlights a broader issue: the stigma around unconventional grief. Studies show that 60% of bereaved individuals use rituals like talking to the deceased to process loss (APA, 2020, American Psychological Association). Her actions weren’t “weird”—they were human. The friend’s group chat jests reflect a societal tendency to trivialize grief that doesn’t fit norms, which can deepen isolation for those mourning.

Dr. Wolfelt’s perspective suggests the woman’s response—kicking her friend out—was a boundary-setting act, not overreaction. Grief demands space, and mockery invades it. For those in similar situations, experts recommend clear communication: express how the behavior hurts and set expectations for respect. If that fails, distancing from toxic influences, as she did, protects emotional well-being.

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Moving forward, she could explore grief support groups to find understanding communities. Online resources like GriefShare offer tools to navigate loss without judgment. Her story reminds us: grief isn’t a performance for others to critique—it’s a personal journey deserving of compassion.

Check out how the community responded:

Reddit’s finest didn’t hold back, serving up a mix of empathy and fiery takes—think of it as a virtual campfire with some spicy roasts. Here’s what the community had to say:

the-mirrors-truth − NTA. Don't bite the hand that feeds, it was extremely callous and insensitive of her. Sorry for your loss.

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heroicsupervillain − NTA. somebody who makes fun of your grieving process after losing your father is NOT your friend and you don't owe her anything.

Idroppedmysamsung − NTA. It’s none of her business how you cope. She should have to tailor herself to how you live in your home given the fact you offering up your space as a curtesy, not the other way around. The fact you explicitly stated what upset you, and asked for a completely justified apology that she couldn’t give shows how immature, and disrespectful she is.

LocalHeathen − NTA, I did/do the same with my dad's ashes. Jokes behind your back aren't 'haha I was just teasing jokes', she not a Friend, she's a user. I'm sorry about your dad, I want to say it gets easier and the crying for no reason does, but the missing piece of you will remain. Just think of all the good times when the cloud of sadness looms, that helps.

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CubingFrFun − NTA I would give you YTA if you had kicked her out when she asked about it, but since you explained to her then she made fun of you it makes me think she is the a**hole here. I am sorry for your loss.

abcwva − You don't have to live with someone cruel enough to make fun of you for something as intimate and sensitive as how you hold the memory of your dad while you grieve.. The best interpretation of her behavior is immaturity, the worst is simple cruelty.

I was once leader of a hospice support group for bereaved persons and I never failed to be amazed at all the ways people handled their grief while moving on. A number of people kept a place setting at dining table and when eating would converse with the physically absent partner for example.. What you are doing comforts you and that is what matters.

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alejandrojesus − talking to his ashes is not weird at all, it’s beautiful. we stay connected in so many ways we cannot begin to comprehend. NTA, please drop the friend and im sorry for your loss OP.

Neyneysatan − NTA sorry for your loss I still talk to my mum who I lost at 13 I'm now 27 why wouldn't I she was my best friend plus don't mess with the dead she'd probs come haunt my ass if I didn't say hello even now and then.

moosigirl − NTA.. 1. It's only a joke if everyone is laughing. 2. You think it's a weird habit when it's really not. You miss your dad. What harm is it saying good morning/night. 3. If she's going to mock you, then refuse to apologise for it when you're the only thing between her and homelessness during a pandemic she's not a friend you need.. Everyone who's telling you you're the A can take her in instead...

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FrancyCat92 − NTA - I am so sorry for your loss. She is no true friend and if some of your other 'friends' think you're in the wrong, bye. You were completely justified in your response especially after you asked her for an apology and she refused.

These Redditors clearly have strong feelings, but do their votes reflect the full picture? Or are they just cheering for the underdog in this emotional showdown?

This story leaves us with a bittersweet taste: a young woman standing her ground, yet grappling with doubt over her choice. Grief is messy, and friendships can be messier, especially when empathy takes a backseat. Was she right to prioritize her healing over hospitality? What would you do if a friend mocked your most vulnerable moment? Share your thoughts—have you ever had to draw a line like this, or faced judgment for how you cope?

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