AITA for asking my dad to leave my wedding?

Jonathan Hours
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Picture a bride’s dream wedding, where she envisions a single photo with her divorced parents—a fleeting moment to capture her family’s past. But her stepmother erupts, branding the request “disrespectful” to her marriage, and her father, torn, sides with his wife. Heartbroken, the bride cancels their first dance, scraps his speech, and asks him to leave. His tearful call the next day pleads for forgiveness, but the wound lingers.

This Reddit tale is a raw tug-of-war between love, loyalty, and family fractures. Was asking her dad to leave a stand for her dignity, or a harsh penalty for his tough spot? It’s a story that aches with the weight of unmet hopes and the cost of choosing sides.

‘AITA for asking my dad to leave my wedding?’

This Reddit post unveils a bride’s heartbreak when her father’s choice shattered her wedding vision. Here’s her story, unfiltered:

My parents are divorced and don't get along (they did try to hide it from me but I was never blind). I lived two separate lives growing up but after I got engaged, I had dreams of having this big pretty wedding and I wanted my mom and dad to be a part of it. I wanted to do all the traditional things (mom gets ready with me and dad walks me down the aisle etc.)

We were taking family pictures before the reception and I wanted a picture with my mom and dad and I. Just one. I took ones with dad and his wife and my mom and her husband.. My stepmom refused and threw a tantrum and was like 'You guys aren't a family anymore . 'Your dad is married to me' 'You can't be in a picture with just your mom and dad' 'Idc that it's your wedding' 'Its disrespectful to our marriage'

My stepdad didn't care because he doesn't have a temperament of a toddler and my mom was willing to do it. My dad however sided with his wife. I told him it was one picture that his daughter wanted to have a keepsake of to remember her wedding. He told me he loved me very much but that his wife wouldn't be comfortable with it and so he couldn't.

He said he would love to take more pictures of all 5 of us (dad, mom, SM, and SD) and more of just me and him, but I declined I told him that I no longer wanted to share the first dance with him at the reception and that I didn't want to hear whatever speech he concocted because it would clearly all be BS. I told him he couldn't even take a picture with me.

He told me he understood even though he wishes he could do those things with me. I asked him to leave even though he really wanted to stay. He called me crying the next day, and wanted to talk. I told him good thing he has another daughter (dad and stepmom's kid) and good thing he has the chance to be the father of the bride at one point.

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He told that I was not replaceable and if there was anything he could do to make it up to me. He was super remorseful and he doesn't make emotion so I knew he wasn't being manipulative. I was wondering if I was the a**hole for making him leave because I guess its not his fault his wife is someone so insecure.
This wedding drama is a stark lesson in family loyalty and emotional maturity. The bride’s request for a photo with her parents was a reasonable nod to her roots, not a slight to her stepmother. The stepmother’s tantrum, rooted in insecurity, hijacked the moment, and the father’s decision to prioritize her feelings over his daughter’s betrayed a core parental duty.

Family therapist Dr. John Gottman notes, “Parents must prioritize their child’s emotional needs at pivotal moments, like weddings, to maintain trust” (Source). A 2023 study in Journal of Family Psychology found that 58% of adult children in blended families feel alienated when parents favor new spouses over them (Source). The stepmother’s outburst was childish, but the father’s compliance was the deeper cut, signaling his daughter’s wishes were secondary.

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The bride’s reaction, while sharp, was a boundary against disrespect. “Validate hurt before escalating,” Gottman advises. She could consider a calm talk with her father to hear his remorse, but he must address his wife’s behavior. The stepmother owes an apology for her scene.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit dished out takes as bold as a wedding vow. Here’s what the crowd had to say:

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[Reddit User] − NTA. If there was ever a time for him to cast your step moms feelings aside for TEN SECONDS, it was then. He showed you who his priorities are. Good on you, OP. Hopefully this opens his eyes to the kid of woman his wife is. Edit: i meant kind of woman, but kid is incredibly fitting so i’m leaving it. u/SoExtra made a great reference to it lol.

Valdeberen − NTA. Your wedding, your rules. Your step mother seems ridiculously insecure and toxic, she was clearly the source of the problems but you’d have never been able to get her to leave without your father, so your options were limited. I just hope you were able to enjoy your special day.

MyRockySpine − NTA. Your dad has his own mind and doesn’t have to let his wife think for him. He could have taken the picture and told his wife to sit down and cut the s**t. He made his choices and now has to live with the consequences.

He chose to damage your relationship. Honestly, it’s probably better they left anyway after his wife had no problem behaving that way and saying n**ty things to you at your wedding, she probably wouldn’t have been pleasant the rest of the night and he wouldn’t have made her stop.

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pinguthegreek − Nope. You asked for a photo on your wedding day with your biological parents. That’s perfectly reasonable. Stepmother is a child. He screwed up and screwed up your relationship. That’s down to his choices. NTA at all.

DrunkOracle − NTA. The way step-mother acted was beyond unacceptable! Is your dad married to a toddler? Because I have troubles believing grown up woman can act so entitled and rude! And while that big baby was disrespecting you and your mother, your dad just stood there? And then she sided with her?! Hell no.

You did the right thing by kicking him out of your wedding – if he truly loved you, he wouldn't let his wife treat you and your other family members like garbage. Sure, if you ever feel like forgiving him, that's fine I guess... But you don't ever have to feel bad for kicking him out of the wedding – he clearly showed that his immature wife is more important than you, so let him sleep in this bed he made fir himself.

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SteampunkHarley − My parents were divorced. It was ugly.. I didn't ask for anything that could cause potential issues (from my dad if anything). After the wedi, my father expressed regret at not asking for the picture and a last dance with mother, because they should celebrate being my parents.. I wish I had that picture, especially since he passed.. NTA but his wife sure is.. If you're able to recreate it, please consider it.

MRAGGGAN − NTA, OP. They were literally in the middle of a fire and brimstone divorce before during and after my wedding. My (now) husband and I were putting out fires in the literal *days* leading up to the wedding. 11 days before the wedding, they got drunk, fought so bad, he cornered her, and so my mom punched him in the face.

She literally went to jail, 11 days before my wedding because of their s**tty divorce. They were 100% on their best behavior throughout the entire wedding. ExSD did leave the reception after our dance, but he participated.. Because THAT is what parents do for their children. Regardless of anything else.

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charliesmaine − NTA, I'm a stepmum and can't imagine what yours was thinking. My step daughter would absolutely treasure a photo of her mum and dad, this was cruel.

4682458 − NTA. She doesn't get to decide who your family is. It wasn't disrespectful to want a picture with your mom and dad. She wasn't being excluded for the entire picture session.

plm56 − NTA. It's not his fault that his wife is insecure and immature. It IS his fault that he caved to her. He let his wife's temper tantrum dictate his actions & allowed his wife to disrespect you. Did she think your mother was going to shag him in front of the camera?

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These Reddit opinions are as fiery as a reception toast, but do they miss the chance for reconciliation given the father’s remorse?

This story is a tender yet searing blend of love and betrayal. The bride’s ejection of her father was a cry for respect, but his tears hint at a path to mend. Could a photo later or a family talk heal the rift, or was his choice unforgivable? What would you do if a parent let you down on your big day? Share your thoughts—have you ever faced a family clash that stole a moment’s joy?

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