AITA for asking my brother’s entire family to move out because my nephew set my bathroom on fire for a tiktok?

Smoke still lingered in the air of her cozy suburban home, a sharp reminder of the chaos that unfolded just days ago. A 32-year-old woman, generous enough to open her doors to her struggling brother’s family, now grapples with a tough call—asking them to leave. Her nephew’s reckless TikTok stunt set her bathroom ablaze, turning a gesture of kindness into a safety concern. The scorched towels and charred walls tell a story of trust tested by teenage impulsivity.

The Reddit community buzzed with opinions, some cheering her stance, others pleading for leniency. It’s a tale of family loyalty clashing with personal boundaries, where a single spark ignited not just a fire but a moral dilemma. Readers can’t help but wonder: how far does family obligation stretch when safety’s at stake?

‘AITA for asking my brother’s entire family to move out because my nephew set my bathroom on fire for a tiktok?’

My (32F) brother (43M), his wife (40?F), and their two kids (9F and 15M) have been staying with me for a little over two weeks now because they lost their jobs due to coronavirus and were evicted. Four people is obviously a large addition, but I didn't want them to be homeless and they assured me it'd be a temporary stay.

Two days ago, my nephew set my bathroom on fire for a tiktok. From what he told me after, there's some kind of trend where you draw a shape on your mirror with hairspray and then you light it on fire, and it's supposed to go out on it's own without any damage. Well, his fire spread onto a nearby stack of towels and got out of control.

We all had to evacuate, but luckily I live relatively close to a firestation so the damage wasn't that bad. My guest bathroom is scorched and will need repairs, but the rest of my home is okay. I think that my brother and SIL had to have been wildly negligible to allow this to happen,

especially considering the lighter he used was my brother's, meaning he must have taken it from him at some point. I'm asking them to leave within the next week because I don't want to risk something of this nature happening again.

They've apologized and asked me to reconsider because it was an accident, no one was hurt in the end, they'd be homeless if I kicked them out now, and to think of my niece who did nothing. I'm not going to charge them for the repairs because they flat out can't afford it, but I no longer feel safe living with them.

This fiery mishap highlights the tricky balance of family loyalty and personal safety. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned family psychologist, notes, “Trust is built in very small moments, but it can be shattered by a single act of recklessness” (Gottman Institute). The woman’s decision to evict her brother’s family stems from a breached trust—her nephew’s dangerous act, enabled by a lighter from her brother, signals a lapse in supervision. While the parents argue it was an accident, her fear of repeated incidents is valid, given the teen’s access to risky tools.

The broader issue here is teenage impulsivity in the digital age. A 2023 study from Pew Research Center found 60% of teens engage in social media trends, often prioritizing virality over safety (Pew Research Center). The nephew’s TikTok stunt reflects this, chasing clout without foreseeing consequences. The parents’ lack of immediate discipline, as some Redditors noted, may exacerbate the risk, suggesting a pattern of leniency.

For solutions, clear boundaries are key. The woman could allow a second chance with strict rules: no unsupervised access to hazardous items, mandatory counseling for the teen, and a parental commitment to vigilance. Dr. Gottman’s advice on rebuilding trust through accountability applies—open communication and consistent consequences can mend strained family ties while prioritizing safety.

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Here’s how people reacted to the post:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a spicy mix of support and skepticism, like a family reunion with too much hot sauce. From fist-bumping her decision to side-eyeing her haste, the comments are a lively debate on family, teens, and TikTok gone wrong:

lainmelle − NTA. He lit your house on fire for an internet trend. He's lucky he didn't kill someone. Sounds like someone dangerous to have in the house. 😬

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FunkyOrangePenguin − ' I no longer feel safe living with them.' NTA. That's the only reason you ever need. This isn't a candle that got out of hand situation - insurance doesn't cover intentional* dumbassery. It wasn’t an accident and he could've killed someone. For a TikTok.. Edit: intentional* dumbassery.

dreamsuggestor − INFO Do you think the kid learned their lesson and won't do it again? Do you think they will do something stupid again? These are the questions you should be asking yourself, not strangers on the internet.. If the answer is no, he didn't learn, kick them out.. If the answer is yes, I don't think he will s**ew up again, let them stay.

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Also, do you really think its 'wildly negligible' to have your 15 year old leave your sight for the 45 seconds it takes to spray and light hairspray? You realize you're basically suggesting they watch their children use the bathroom right? Look what he did was wrong,

and they are ultimately responsible, but to say 'wildly negligible' to let a 15 year old have privacy in the bathroom, when they have presumably never done anything like this before, makes no sense at all. Perhaps *now* it would be negligent to let him go into the bathroom unsupervised. but it certainly wasn't before, since you've listed no previous bad behavior.

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LFOSighting − Honestly amazed that everyone is saying NTA here.. YTA unless the parents did absolutely nothing to discipline their child after this. 15 y/os are dumb that is pure and simple. Him doing some stupid s**t for a tiktok trend is not grounds for you to kick a family of 4 out onto the street with a week to sort out their affairs.

affictionitis − NTA. It's completely fair for you to want them gone after this, and you're being generous to give them a week and not charge them for the damages. However... I don't think bro & SIL were negligent. 15yos are supposed to have a degree of independence; that's how they learn to be adults.

Following them around like a helicopter parent usually screws them up. Unfortunately some 15yos fumble their independence the first few times you try to give it to them by doing incredibly dumb things. Poor impulse control and being easily led (by TikTok followers or trends) are just part of being a teenager.

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Doesn't usually end up burning the house down, granted.I guess what would make a difference to me is what the parents did after the kid set the bathroom on fire. Did they immediately tell him he was wrong and discipline him in some way?

He's not quite old enough to get a job and pay for the bathroom (I don't think, legal age to work is 16 where I live but might be younger elsewhere), but he could be given all the housework for the rest of the year, or something.

If the parents did nothing, however, and just pulled a 'boys will be boys,' then yeah, get 'em all out, because that situation is 100% unsafe. If they're truly going to end up homeless instead of in a hotel or at another relative's, then maybe offer to let the 9yo stay? If you're comfortable with that.

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Plantmom-wineaunt − NTA-yeah the fact you aren’t going to charge them for damages is incredibly nice of you. I get they lost their place and that sucks. But if they feel it’s ok to set fires for a video then they’ll do other stupid s**t too.

swsvt − NTA. 15 is old enough to know better. We all did stupid crap at 15, but out of us didn't almost burn a house down. They are lucky you aren't making them cover your insurance deductible or pay for the repairs.

Also, they are huge AHs for trying to use their daughter to guilt you. Maybe offer to let dad or mom and daughter stay if they're that desperate. The other parent and son can go stay with someone else. Its easier to house 2 people than 4.

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[Reddit User] − INFO is your nephew normally like this? 15 is still pretty young and it doesn't seem like he intended this to be bad. Also it's incredibly easy for a 15 year old to get a lighter, so calling the parents negligent seems out of line imo. It's your house to do with as you please, but I think some punishment and consequences that aren't making them homeless can be arranged.

begaydoscience − OP: PLEASE reconsider this. I’m going to say YTA, but the kid is also somewhat TA, and I want OP and the N/T/A people in the comments here to **please just hear me out:** have you actually seen the trend that this all stemmed from? Here’s an [example video].

There are TONS of these, and every single time, it’s a flame that goes no more than 6 inches from the mirror and goes out completely within ~5 seconds. All of those videos make it look about as risky as one of those high-alcohol content drinks that bartenders will light at fancy bars.

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There is a 95% chance that the kid GENUINELY HAD NO IDEA that it could cause as much damage as it did, and would NEVER have done it if he knew what was going to happen. This is not, as many people have interpreted it, a malicious or incredibly irresponsible out-of-control teenager who poses a significant risk to your household.

This is a kid who JUST LOST HIS HOME and is likely a bit more desperate than usual for something that could make him happy, and then saw something cool on TikTok and wanted to recreate it, and what he expected to be harmless fun went terribly, terribly wrong.

How on earth do so many people here think a fully reasonable response to a likely well-intentioned kid making ONE MISTAKE is to MAKE HIS ENTIRE FAMILY HOMELESS? Yes, he should have known better, and doing anything even the tiniest bit risky makes him definitely an AH as well, but not one that merits that severe a consequence.

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And re: the parental negligence thing, come on, we’ve all been 15 before, it is NOT hard for a kid to find a lighter somewhere without his parents noticing. OP, I completely understand your concern here, and I absolutely feel for you. This whole situation massively sucks.

But what this kid needs is a strong talking to about fire safety and the importance of being extremely careful when using other people’s property. Deactivate his TikTok account for a while! Hell, I think it’d be fully reasonable to make the kid get a job and eventually pay you back for the damage himself!

But don’t put an entire family - 3 out of 4 members of which appear to have done ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG! - out on the streets because 1 of the 4 made one stupid mistake. If he does anything like this again, then you wouldn’t be TA.

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But please give them a second chance. ETA Disclaimer: if the parents haven’t had a serious talk with the son and are trying to avoid punishing him at all or trying to act like nothing ever happened, then OP would not be TA for kicking them out.

Candid-Ear-4840 − Info: how is this kid being punished? If his parents are letting him off easy because no one was hurt in the end, yeah, that’s terrible and unsafe parenting and you’re right not to have them in the house.

I don’t think it’s necessarily negligent parenting since he’s past the age that parents usually have to watch their kids like hawks but if they are usually lax parents I completely understand your anger.

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These Redditors weighed in with passion, some backing her safety-first stance, others urging mercy for a family in crisis. But do these hot takes capture the full picture, or are they just fanning the flames?

This tale of a bathroom blaze and family fallout leaves us pondering the limits of generosity. The woman’s choice to prioritize safety over sheltering her brother’s family is tough but understandable, yet it raises questions about forgiveness and second chances. Navigating family ties amid reckless mistakes is never easy, especially when trust burns away faster than a stack of towels. What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? Share your thoughts and experiences below!

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