AITA for asking my boyfriend’s mom for help getting home when he took me on a family vacation and I needed to leave?

Jonathan Hours
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Picture a sun-soaked California resort, where a young woman’s dream vacation crumbles. Stranded far from her Missouri home, she reels from her boyfriend Ed’s bombshell: he’s been unfaithful. Trapped in his family’s timeshare with no immediate way out, her heart races with betrayal and panic.

Desperate for escape, she turns to an unlikely ally—Ed’s mother—for help to get tested and find a way out. But when she drives off into the sunset, Ed’s fury erupts. Was she wrong to involve his mom? This Reddit saga unravels a tale of heartbreak and independence.

‘AITA for asking my boyfriend’s mom for help getting home when he took me on a family vacation and I needed to leave?’

Ed invited me on a vacation with his family, and we were across the country in California when I'm from Missouri. And when we were there, and I was staying at his parents timeshare, and using his parents rental car, and didn't have flight tickets home for almost 2 weeks... He told me he'd been unfaithful.

I was mad at him and especially mad at how manipulative it seemed that he told me when I had nowhere else to go and no way to get anywhere. I told him to leave the resort for the afternoon so I could think, and he was resistant to that at first but finally did. I called his mom who was at the beach saying that I really needed her help, and it was a really delicate matter so please don't tell anyone else yet.

She came to the room worried and I had already packed. I asked her if she could take me to a s**ual health clinic then to a rental car place. She was even more worried hearing what I was asking for, and asked me what had happened. I said that I just found out Ed had been unfaithful in our relationship and I needed to get some tests.

And I wanted to book a rental car because I was feeling stressed and trapped in the same space as him after getting that news, and wanted to be able to get some space. She took me, honestly it was awkward because she wanted to talk to Ed, she was upset with him, and I kept asking her to at least wait until I'd gotten tested and gotten the car.

She did, and I put all my luggage in the car and drove to a hotel in the area that first night to cry. I told her that I was gonna need some space and I didn't know how much, so don't wait up for me to be back. But in the morning, I decided I wanted to go home. I called the rental car company and arranged to book a different car that I could drive long distance, and decided to make a road trip of it since I still had nearly 2 weeks off work.

My phone was blowing up but I had put it on don't disturb and hit the road. It was a few days before I checked my messages from Ed, I'd been answering texts from other people but avoiding the messaging app we used. And he was really angry I went straight to telling his mom and asking her to take me to the clinic, which in his mind was 'petty' to tell his mom that I was afraid ge had given me something.

I didn't feel like it was petty, I genuinely wanted to get tested asap so I could get treated for anything without waiting, if I needed to be. He also was angry I asked his mom to help me get an in town rental car implying to her that I would stay to work stuff out, and then just disappear.

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I felt like I didn't lie, I told her I needed space and wasn't sure for how long... Then I figured out that was probably forever.. I haven't answered hos messages yet but he keeps on sending me angry ones.. AITA for asking his mom for help?

Ed’s confession of infidelity, timed when his girlfriend was stranded, screams manipulation. Relationship expert Dr. Susan Heitler notes, “Trust is the bedrock of any partnership; betrayal shatters it, often irreparably” . The girlfriend’s swift action—seeking tests and space—reflects self-preservation, not pettiness. Ed’s anger at her involving his mother deflects from his own guilt.

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This scenario mirrors a broader issue: navigating betrayal in vulnerable settings. A 2022 study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found 43% of infidelity victims prioritize immediate physical and emotional distance . Her choice to confide in Ed’s mother was pragmatic, given her limited options.

Dr. Heitler suggests open communication post-betrayal, but only if safe. Here, the girlfriend’s need for safety trumped reconciliation. Readers, have you faced betrayal in a tough spot? Share below.

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For solutions, she did well to prioritize health and independence. Moving forward, blocking Ed’s messages could protect her peace. Therapy or support groups (source) might help process the trauma. Her road trip home? A bold reclaiming of her narrative.

See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit didn’t hold back, roasting Ed’s audacity and cheering the girlfriend’s escape. From calling out his “trapping” tactics to praising her cool-headed exit, the comments are a wild ride. Here’s what they said:

newbeginingshey - NTA and his mom sounds like a good person. You don’t owe him anything. He is not the victim in this situation and you are right to block him and anyone else who doubts that.

PeggyHW - NTA.. If he didn't want his mom to know he cheated, he shouldn't have cheated.. This is pure deflection to try to make you the bad guy. He's wrong. You're not.

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BitiumRibbon - when we were there, and I was staying at his parents timeshare, and using his parents rental car, and didn't have flight tickets home for almost 2 weeks... He told me he'd been unfaithful.. Christ on a cracker. I said that I just found out Ed had been unfaithful in our relationship and I needed to get some tests.

And I wanted to book a rental car because I was feeling stressed and trapped in the same space as him after getting that news, and wanted to be able to get some space.. Very solid plan. Way to keep a cool head, sister.. I decided I wanted to go home.. I would have made the same choice.

he was really angry I went straight to telling his mom and asking her to take me to the clinic, which in his mind was 'petty' to tell his mom that I was afraid ge had given me something. He has some nerve, after the way he more-or-less trapped you into your circumstances. How else were you supposed to deal with things?

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He also was angry I asked his mom to help me get an in town rental car implying to her that I would stay to work stuff out, and then just disappear. He doesn't get to be angry about that. Like, even if you *had* intended to head home the whole time,

he - the cheater, the one who was dishonest to you - is going to whine about dishonesty?. I haven't answered hos messages yet but he keeps on sending me angry ones.. Girl, hit that block button. Delete this dude and his unpleasantness from your life. You don't need it.. **NTA.**

MeowGirly - Nta. That was kind of his mom to do that. Only TA is your now ex

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baker8590 - NTA he thought he had you trapped in an isolating situation where you would have to just deal with the news and suffer out the vacation without blowing into a fight because his parents were there. It sounds like his mom was there for you when you asked for help getting out and now he's upset that his plan didn't work. He's probably getting crap from them and he deserves it. Don't look back.

kookerpie - You might need to wait a few months and get tested again

mdthomas - NTA He is for cheating on you and telling you during a time when you were basically stuck with him. Getting tested was not 'petty', it was a valid health concern. As far as telling his mom, well she had a right to ask why you needed help, and you had every right to tell her why.. It's not like she wouldn't have found out anyway. He can't expect this to stay private.

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Tiffm09 - Nta. Block him, his reaction to you using what options you had to get out of that space combined with how he chose then to disclose his cheaitng show you his character. Don't waste your enegery even responding to him.

Iron_winged_monarch - NTA He essentially trapped you out there. You had every right to get out of there whatever way you needed to. If he didn’t want his mother to know, then he shouldn’t have cheated. Don’t fall for him trying to spin “you made it sound like you’d be back” into a sin against him.

warriorprincessdi - NTA - He is. You took a very high road by not making the whole thing public on his family vacation. Look after yourself and be happy you are free of his BS. He is only mad he didn't get his way in the situation.

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These Reddit hot takes scream empowerment, but do they oversimplify the messy fallout of betrayal?

This story of betrayal and bold escape shows how fast trust can crumble and resilience can rise. The girlfriend’s choice to lean on Ed’s mom and hit the road wasn’t petty—it was survival. Ed’s anger? Just noise from a guilty conscience. What would you do if betrayal hit you far from home? Share your thoughts below!

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