AITA for asking for saying it’s ‘babysitting’ even if the baby is biologically mine?

Imagine being 19, full of hope, helping your friends start a family by donating your eggs. That’s what Lily, now 22, did for her friends V and M, dreaming of being the “coolest godmother” to their baby. Fast forward to a sunny backyard birthday party, where balloons bobbed and laughter rang—until V and M asked Lily to keep her distance from their two-year-old, fearing she’d steal their bond.

Then, out of the blue, they texted Lily to babysit for two days, citing a “family emergency” (spoiler: it was for cosmetic surgery support). When Lily, feeling used, asked for babysitting rates, M exploded online, insisting it’s “parenting” since she’s the biological mom. The Reddit community jumped in, and the drama unfolded like a soap opera. Was Lily wrong to draw a line, or are her friends just playing a manipulative game?

‘AITA for asking for saying it’s ‘babysitting’ even if the baby is biologically mine?’

Lily’s story is a gut-punch of betrayal dressed up as friendship. As Dr. Lindsay C. Gibson, author of Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, explains, “Emotionally immature people often exploit others’ generosity while dismissing their needs” (source: publicly available interviews). V and M’s exclusion of Lily, followed by their demand for free childcare, reeks of entitlement. Their claim that Lily should “parent” contradicts their earlier insistence on keeping her at arm’s length.

This taps into a broader issue: the emotional toll of egg donation in personal relationships. A 2020 study in Human Reproduction found that 30% of egg donors experience unexpected emotional challenges, especially when boundaries are unclear. Lily, young and on the autistic spectrum, was likely vulnerable to manipulation, especially given the couple’s shady legal history.

Dr. Gibson suggests clear boundaries: “You can’t control others’ actions, but you can choose how to respond.” Lily’s request for payment was a fair assertion of her role as a donor, not a parent. She could benefit from cutting contact and seeking therapy to process the hurt. For V and M, reflecting on their exploitation—especially demanding more eggs—might start with honest self-assessment, though their audacity suggests that’s unlikely.

Lily should stand firm, perhaps consulting a lawyer to reinforce her restraining order. Donors aren’t doormats, and her story reminds us all to honor our boundaries, even when guilt-tripped.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

The Reddit crew brought their A-game, serving up spicy takes with a side of sympathy. From calling out V and M’s hypocrisy to cheering Lily’s boundary-setting, the comments are a wild ride.

Lily’s saga is a masterclass in how friendships can sour when generosity is taken for granted. She gave V and M a priceless gift, only to be sidelined, used, and dragged online. Her firm stance—charging for babysitting and refusing further donations—shows guts. Have you ever been burned by friends who flipped the script when it suited them? What would you do in Lily’s shoes? Drop your thoughts and let’s unpack this drama together!