AITA for asking for compensation for babysitting my niece after a year and a half?

In a small apartment just 15 minutes from her sister’s old place, a young woman juggles her job, her wallet, and a toddler who’s not her own. For a year and a half, she’s been the go-to babysitter for her niece, clocking in hours that rival a full-time gig—without a paycheck. But when she finally asks for compensation, her sister flips, turning family bonding into a bitter feud. This Reddit drama from the AITA subreddit is a juicy tale of loyalty, labor, and lines in the sand.

The story hits home for anyone who’s felt taken for granted by family. With the sister now living farther away and the demands piling up, the OP’s plea for fairness sparks a showdown that’s got Reddit buzzing. It’s a classic case of love versus limits—how much do you give before you say, “Pay me or I’m out”?

‘AITA for asking for compensation for babysitting my niece after a year and a half?’

My (20F) niece is a year and a half old and I’ve been my sisters (27F) only babysitter since she was born. My mom occasionally babysits but only about once a month as she lives 45 minutes away from my sister and I only live 15 minutes away. Well, my sister has been asking me to babysit A LOT recently.

For example in the past week I’ve babysat 5 days. And it’s not just for an hour... Yesterday I was there from 9 am - 6 pm. I haven’t been home for more than a few hours (not sleeping) in days. She made me get somebody to cover my shift at work today so I could babysit, and does this often.

She doesn’t allow me to eat any food at her house but I’m also not allowed to take my niece in the car (I’ve never been pulled over or in any accidents that I was driving) so my only option is to order delivery, which can get expensive.

She’s told me in the past she’s going to start paying me but the only time she’s EVER paid me was over NYE where she paid $40 for babysitting over night. My sister just moved over 30 minutes away from me.

I told her if she wants me to continue babysitting I’m going to need to be compensated for the time and money I’m spending in gas and food. She got really upset and told me that I shouldn’t want to be paid for spending time with my niece. AITA?

UPDATE: I texted my sister and said “look i love being able to see (my niece) as much as i do but i need to start getting paid for babysitting. i would’ve made $180 at work this weekend, but i lost $130 since you told (my boyfriend) to tell me to split the $100 with him for gas money.

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i’m your only babysitter other than mom but mom barely babysits and i have been a few days a week. i want $10/hour. that’s lower than you’ll find from anyone else in (town she lives)” and she responded with “K. I’ll find someone else”.

She then went on to tell me that I need to get my s**t from her house by next weekend or it’s getting thrown away, and that I shouldn’t have came at her instead of trying to have a discussion. She pulled the “you’re her aunt” card and said “you didn’t ask to be paid, you demanded”.

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At this point I kinda lost my s**t and told her everything I have wanted to say for years and she said “We’re done. Delete my number”. Done. Thank you everyone for all your advice. While it sucks she reacted this way, I’m extremely proud of myself for finally sticking up for myself after 20 years..

EDIT: Thank you for the awards! I feel like I should add this. My sister is a stay at home mom. She asks me to babysit while she has appointments such as therapy, hair appointment, if she wants to go out with her husband, if she wants to go see friends...

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Her husband works full time, and fully supports not paying me and doesn’t think I should want to be paid for “spending time with my niece”.. Also thank you for all the kind words. It means a lot.

This childcare clash is a textbook case of family expectations gone awry. Family therapist Dr. Susan Forward, author of Toxic Parents, notes, “When family members exploit your goodwill, setting boundaries is not betrayal—it’s self-preservation” (Dr. Susan Forward). The OP’s sister has leaned heavily on her, treating her like free labor datacleaning.com staff: Data is cleaned, staff is alerted to the presence of a bot. The OP’s request for payment after extensive, unpaid babysitting is reasonable, yet her sister’s explosive reaction reveals a sense of entitlement.

The OP’s situation is dire: she’s missing work, footing bills for gas and food, and spending hours at her sister’s house, where she’s barred from eating. This isn’t just about family bonding—it’s labor. The sister’s refusal to pay, coupled with rules like no food or car use, shows a lack of respect for OP’s time and resources. Her husband’s support of this dynamic only deepens the imbalance.

This reflects a broader issue: the assumption that family owes free labor. A 2023 study by the U.S. Department of Labor found that unpaid caregivers, often women, lose significant income and career opportunities (U.S. Department of Labor). The OP’s $10/hour request is modest compared to standard rates, yet her sister’s “you’re her aunt” argument dismisses her sacrifice.

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Dr. Forward’s advice applies here: clear boundaries prevent resentment. The OP could set a firm schedule, like two days a week, and stick to it. If her sister refuses to pay, OP should prioritize her job and decline further requests. A calm conversation about mutual needs might help, but the sister’s reaction suggests she may not budge.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit came out swinging, delivering a mix of cheers and jabs for this babysitting battle. From calling the sister’s behavior “slave labor” to urging the OP to quit, the comments are a fiery mix of support and shade. Here’s what the crowd had to say:

Cubadog − NTA... Your sister is taking advantage of you. This is not about spending time with your niece it is about her getting free childcare. You need to stop babysitting immediately.

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Puzzleheaded-Hurry26 − NTA. But forget “asking her to pay you.” Honestly, I think you should just stop babysitting completely.. Let’s review:. -You are babysitting so much that it’s a full-time job.. -You’re not getting paid.

-Your sister doesn’t allow you to eat any of the food at their house. (WTF? When I babysat as a 12 year old every client I had told me to help myself to anything in the kitchen.)

-Your sister doesn’t allow you to drive the car, so you can’t GET food, which means you’re stuck with exorbitant food delivery prices and fees.. -And the kicker: YOU ARE MISSING ACTUAL WORK to babysit for your sister FOR FREE.. Your sister has long since crossed the line of taking advantage.

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Avebury1 − NTA. Your sister is treating you like a slave. You need to tell her that Lincoln freed the slaves and the time has come for her to find other child care arrangements. There is no excuse for how she treats you.

You need to grow a spine and stand up for yourself. Why on earth do you follow her command of not going to a paying job so that you can be her unpaid slave? Providing your sister with slave labor will not pay your bills and could cost you your job.

Op to sister - Your daughter is your responsibility, not mine. I will no longer be available to act as your slave. You need to make other childcare arrangements for your child. This is not negotiable.

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Then hang up and put your entire family in a really long time out. Because you know that your sister and all her flying monkeys will try to harrass you into putting the slave collar back on and perpetually being at your sister's beck and call.. Nobody else is going to stand up for you so you need to do it for yourself.

RabdyD1958 − NTA you are being used. It is long past time to put an end to it. This has nothing to do with how much you care for your nice or sister. You should never compromise your job by not going to work for babysitting. Your sister needs to find proper daycare for her child.

OneMikeNation − NTA: Tell her if you want to spend time with your niece than you will do it on your schedule. But if she want to call you and have you 'spend time with her' tell her she need to pay up

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razzlemcwazzle − NTA she is treating you AWFULLY. literally taking time away from your real job and your source of income and then not paying you back for this service, and then not even having the decency to let you eat food there or give you money to have food delivered? start getting paid for the hours or drop the unpaid job asap

roman1969 − Your sister expects you to give up work, You can’t eat her food, you pay for the expense and time it takes to travel to and from her place. SHE. IS. TAKING. THE. P**S!!

OMG I keep going back to her not allowing you to eat her food! I really don’t know how you’ve put up with this for so long, but I’d dump this arrangement and go live my life.. How f**king entitled is that!. NTA

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bustabruisa − NTA. It's time to say no. It's time she starts paying for care. You have your own life to live and your own reputation to keep at work. Passing on shifts won't be good for you long term. You have your own bills to pay. She won't even feed you....this is not okay. She is taking advantage of you.

Sufficient-Nail-7435 − NTA - Your sister is taking advantage of your kindness. Babysitting is a job, regardless if you are family or do it for a living and you should be not only compensated for babysitting in terms of food and petrol, but also for the hours you're putting in. Especially when she is asking you to take time off work, potentially losing income, to babysit her child.

alpacaboba − NTA. You need to focus on your job and your own health. Constantly spending money to get take out and skipping shifts is not the way to grow your career.

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Sit down with her and set boundaries. 'I am happy to babysit niece 2 hours per week. Outside of that, I am unavailable.'. Why won't she let you eat food in her house? That is just strange.

These Redditors rallied behind the OP, slamming her sister’s entitlement and outrageous rules. Some called for a complete babysitting boycott, while others suggested firm boundaries. But do these spicy takes capture the full story, or are they just fueling the family fire?

This story of unpaid babysitting and family fallout shows how quickly love can turn to resentment when boundaries are ignored. The OP’s stand for fair pay is a bold move toward self-respect, but her sister’s harsh reaction reveals deep divides. Could a compromise or a family mediator cool things down? What would you do if a sibling expected free labor under the guise of family ties? Share your thoughts below!

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