AITA for asking a woman “So you’d want to swap bodies with me?” after she kept pushing me to “love myself”.

Jonathan Hours
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A casual breakroom chat about weight struggles takes a sharp turn when an uninvited coworker, Nicole, swoops in with a sermon on body positivity. Irked by her relentless push to “love yourself,” a frustrated employee fires back with a biting question: would she swap bodies and embrace their figure?

Nicole’s stunned silence and flushed face end the exchange, but whispers among coworkers spark a debate. This tale of clashing views and sharp words hooks readers: was the retort too harsh, or did Nicole’s intrusion invite the clapback?

‘AITA for asking a woman “So you’d want to swap bodies with me?” after she kept pushing me to “love myself”.’

I don't have tolerance for people who try to push their beliefs on others, especially when it comes to diet, fitness, bodies, etc. I have a big issue with the body acceptance/fat acceptance movements but usually keep my opinions to myself unless I'm asked. I also have a problem with the corny 'be positive/love yourself' mindset.

Well I gained some weight over the past year. No excuses, I just stopped caring about what I ate and drank and packed on the pounds. I'm working on fixing it, but obviously it doesn't happen overnight. Me and another woman were commiserating our break outside, and this woman 'Nicole' from another group came up and inserted herself into our conversation.

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It turns out she doesn't like diet talk, so she was trying to push us away from it. Me and the other girl kept moving the talk back, because she was struggling too and we wanted to talk about it. Well Nicole interrupts and says 'You guys are spending so much of your mental time and energy talking about this. You need to focus on loving yourselves!'.

I side eyed her and said 'Uh, I do love myself, that's why I'm doing this.' Nicole said 'No, but if you really practice self love and self acceptance, you won't spend so much of your time obsessing over every little pound. Love your body for what it is and what it can do for you!' Honestly I was just like... who the f**k is this woman?

Why does she think she and barge in and interrupt my conversation with my friend? I tried to play it off nicely, but it really pissed me off.. She kept going on about self love and body positivity and blah blah blah. So I just had it.. I said 'So you're saying you would be okay with switching bodies with me and looking like I look?'

She looked kind of shocked and said 'Well.... I mean...' and she just kind of trailed off. Her face got all red. I said 'Right, so if you wouldn't be all loud and proud and happy if you had this body, why should I? And why should you get to tell me how to think about my body? How is that your place?'

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She looked like she was about to cry and she left without another word. The friend I was with cracked up after this and we continued talking. I guess Nicole's group heard about the whole debacle and a few of them told me that she was just trying to help us have 'a more positive outlook' and that I made her feel bad.. AITA?

This breakroom blowup reveals a clash of personal boundaries and beliefs about body image. The OP’s frustration boils over when Nicole interrupts a private venting session, pushing a one-size-fits-all positivity mantra. The “swap bodies” question, though sharp, exposes the disconnect in Nicole’s unsolicited advice.

Psychologist Dr. Linda Papadopoulos notes, “Unsolicited advice, especially on sensitive topics like body image, can feel intrusive and dismissive of personal struggles” (source: Psychology Today). Nicole’s push for self-love, while well-meaning, ignores the OP’s need to process their weight gain on their terms.

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This reflects broader tensions in body image discussions. A 2023 study by the Body Image Journal found 55% of people feel judged when discussing weight, even in supportive contexts. Nicole’s intrusion into a private chat risks alienating rather than uplifting.

The OP could set boundaries by calmly redirecting future intrusions, while Nicole should respect others’ conversational space.

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Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit’s users brought the heat, dishing out spicy takes on this workplace showdown. Here’s their unfiltered pulse:

SnappyMango - NTA. Why the f**k is it so hard for people to mind their own businesses?

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KaliTheBlaze - While body positivity and self-love are important things, weight and size are a sensitive area. You don’t get to go shoving your views on either side at people like that. One mention might be okay, depending on circumstances, but unless you have a really close relationship with someone, that’s where you stop. Proselytizing aggressively about anything is rude and toxic positivity is, well, toxic.. ETA: Forgot to vote! NTA

[Reddit User] - NTA at all. Someone butted into your conversation with an unwanted opinion, wouldn't take a hint and leave, and then got upset when you confronted her with her hypocrisy. She needs to get over herself, and you should ignore what her and her friends say.

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Your body, your choice. I hope you do love yourself as you are, but good for you too for wanting to improve. I'm sure you know you can hold both views at the same time. Nicole's an i**ot, and good intentions (and friends that defend them) don't mean you get a free pass to say what you want and have people just accept it.

lolagalaxy - 'Uh, I do love myself, that's why I'm doing this.'. The part of self-love that no one talks about: caring enough for yourself to initiate a change in lifestyle.. Edit: Thank you for the awards :)

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[Reddit User] - Ugh. I imagine that Nicole is probably the kind of person who goes around telling people to 'SMILE!' which irritates me no end. No-one else has the right to adjust your body, your 'outlook', or anything in between. And shouldn't even attempt it unless you *ask* for it. NTA

whatsit111 - ...am I the only one who thinks OP is overreacting here? If you have a conversation with a coworker in a public space, it is pretty normal for another coworker to join in the conversation. If you don't want anyone joining your conversation, have it someplace more private or politely tell the person trying to join that you were hoping to speak privately.

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So first, I think it's a little unreasonable for you to act like she was being rude by chatting with two coworkers in a breakroom. There's also a big difference between someone 'pushing their beliefs on you' and (politely) disagreeing with you in the course of a conversation, which is what it sounds like your coworker was doing.

She wasn't hounding or harassing you, she had one conversation about dieting and shared her feelings about it. This could have been a coworker saying they think football is boring or they don't like dogs--you might feel totally differently,

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but that doesn't mean that person is attacking you or forcing you to change.. So second, someone (politely) disagreeing with you isn't an attack.. NAH. I'd try to drop this anger at your coworker if it's just based on this one interaction.

mtkaiser - She was rude, but you were mean.. She at least had good intentions, even though she was being annoying as hell. But you said what you said because you wanted to hurt her and make her go away, and then you laughed at her when she did.. ESH

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TheLoudCanadianGirl - LOL i love this. Im all for body positivity, but don’t just invite yourself into someone else’s conversation and force your opinions onto them.. Nta

kannons - Soft ESH. Just based on this Nicole seemed rude for sure but not actively harmful. OP, I think you could have handled an awkward conversational intrusion with a bit more grace - I think the fact this is a coworker and you were in a public place at work swings it in the ESH direction for me.

You're not an assholefor your views or for challenging hers, but being able to handle and work with people who you find annoying or who you don't agree with is a pretty important life skill.

LeeGlue - NTA - you weren’t rude, just blunt. and only AFTER she kept pestering and you kept telling her you didn’t want to talk about it and/or changing the subject. people who do this think they’re being helpful, and i’m sure she was coming from a good place.

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but she also shouldn’t push her beliefs on you or feel entitled to tell you how to think or feel. calling her out isn’t a bad thing, especially since you were even toned about it and asked her to look at things from your perspective.

These bold opinions pack a punch, but do they cut through the tension or just add fuel to the fire?

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This story of a sharp-tongued retort to a coworker’s body positivity lecture shows how quickly personal beliefs can spark workplace drama. The OP’s biting question silenced Nicole but stirred up bad blood. Navigating touchy topics like body image takes finesse. Would you clap back at unsolicited advice, or keep the peace to avoid drama? Share your stories and thoughts below—let’s unpack what it means to set boundaries without burning bridges!

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