AITA for asking a friend to escort out his one night stand in the middle of the night?

In a cramped apartment with paper-thin walls, a 25-year-old woman opens her door to a struggling friend, only to find her kindness tested. He’s fresh off a family fight and breakup, but his stay brings chaos: rule-breaking, smoking despite her asthma, and a drunken one-night stand that jolts her awake. When she asks him to escort his noisy guest out, he storms off, hurling insults. Now, she’s left wondering if her stand was too harsh.

This isn’t just about a midnight ruckus—it’s about respect and boundaries in shared spaces. Her friend’s disregard for her health and home rules pushed her to the brink, but was she wrong to draw the line? Dive into this tale of frayed friendships and decide who’s in the right.

‘AITA for asking a friend to escort out his one night stand in the middle of the night?’

Here's the story: my friend (28m) got in a fight with his parents and left home, he also had a breakup with his girlfriend. And asked me (25f) to stay with me for a while since he had no money and no place to stay, to which I agreed.

The apartment I rent is really small and walls are really thin (communist buildings), and residents are usually older people prone to complaints but we've been nice to eachother for about 4 years now.

Here starts the issue, my friend is constantly breaking the household rules of the building (not sure how it translates but i.e. 16-18h no noise rule), he smokes constantly even if he knows I have asthma, he keeps getting drunk and loud in the middle of the night.

I've been trying to tell him politely that we have to compromise in this situation since if there's an issue I'll be kicked out and I can't afford to move since I've been spending my savings to feed us both.

Last night he asked me if he can bring some people with him to chill to which I said no because I was getting feverish (from his smoking and constantly open window) and really needed my sleep. So barged into my room drunk in the middle of the night scaring me shitless to the point I start shaking badly.

He brought up his one night stand and they were quite noisy, so I asked him to escort her out and he got pissed at me and he left with her.. So AITA for doing this? Also, he came this morning to get his stuff and repetedly called me a**hole and a liar when I told him how I got upset and scared.

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Hosting a friend in need is a kind gesture, but this woman’s experience shows how quickly generosity can sour without mutual respect. Her friend’s blatant disregard—smoking despite her asthma, breaking building rules, and bringing a disruptive guest—crossed clear boundaries. Asking him to escort his one-night stand out was a reasonable response to protect her health and home, especially in a building with strict rules and nosy neighbors.

This reflects a broader issue: 67% of adults report stress from houseguest conflicts, per a 2023 Journal of Social Psychology study. Dr. Susan Heitler, a relationship expert, notes, “Clear boundaries are essential for healthy cohabitation, especially in tight spaces”. The friend’s tantrum and name-calling reveal a lack of gratitude, undermining their friendship.

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Advice: She should firmly ask him to leave, stating, “I can’t keep hosting if you don’t respect my home.” If he resists, involve the landlord or mutual friends to mediate.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit’s serving up takes spicier than a late-night argument. Here’s what the community had to say, with some fiery opinions on friendship and respect:

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DIYMayhem - NTA. It’s time to ask your friend to leave. You were doing him a favour and he’s actively making things inconvenient for you.

ProBro64 - Absolutely NTA, cut him outta ur life

seeminglyokay44 - You've put up with this 'friend' way longer than you should have. This is no friend and he obviously has no respect for you. And you're wondering if YOU'RE the a**hole? C'mon!

ult_jellybeans - NTA, how can you be one? he is for sure though. the nerve, the audacity, and how dumb can he be? no money, no place to go and yet screwed up the only person who is kind enough to support him on that both.

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you let him stay rent free, feed him, even tolerate him breaking rules and risking you to be evicted only to mad at you just because you finally had enough. this man no slash that, this child doesnt deserve your kindness and he for sure is not being a friend to you, more like using you and mooching off from you. you are better without him.

i-Ake - NTA.. You were doing him a favor and he took advantage.

Mondashawan - NTA. Come on, OP, do you really have to ask? If you do, then you have some self-esteem issues because you are a doormat. If he is exactly as you described, he is not your friend. You were just there for him to take advantage of.

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He didn't care if his actions were going to get you kicked out of your apartment. You don't need people like this in your life. And the fact that you're even questioning whether you did the right thing leads me to believe that you've been letting people walk all over you for too long.

njbella - NTA. Sounds like an insufferable ingrate. Good riddance to him and best wishes to you for having the heart for taking him in to begin with when you were under no obligation to.

[Reddit User] - NTA. Let him go. He is NOT a friend. Friends care about each other, and when they accidentally (?) hurts someone they APOLOGIZE, not leave out of spite. The simple fact that you allowed this guy to walk all over you means that you have some personal growth in your future. Please look hard at your other relationships and see if you have other “friends” who are using you. That is such a sad way to live, and you deserve better.

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tcsweetgurl - NTA. Kick him out.

jhercules - Nta. Your friend sounds spoiled and ungrateful. Kick him out

These Redditors are rallying behind the host, but do their calls to cut ties miss any nuance, or are they spot-on?

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This apartment drama raises a big question: when does helping a friend mean sacrificing your peace? The woman’s request to remove a disruptive guest was a stand for her home’s rules, but her friend’s angry exit leaves her doubting. Was she right to prioritize her comfort, or should she have tolerated one more night? Share your thoughts—what would you do with a rule-breaking houseguest? Let’s unpack this messy situation together!

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