AITA for applying to a school my cousin couldn’t afford?

A 16-year-old girl faces backlash from her family after being accepted into a prestigious residential school that her cousin, also 16, couldn’t attend due to financial constraints. She worked hard, earning money through volunteering and freelancing to cover tuition, but her cousin and family called her a “cold-hearted b__ch” for “stealing” her cousin’s dream and causing emotional distress.

Wondering if she’s wrong for pursuing this opportunity, she sought online opinions. The social media community strongly supported her, asserting she shouldn’t sacrifice her future due to her cousin’s jealousy and criticizing her family for unfair pressure.

‘AITA for applying to a school my cousin couldn’t afford?’

She worked diligently to gain admission to a competitive school.

I (16F) will be starting my high school this year. I don't live in my place of origin, but a neighboring country. The education where I live is not good...

This school is extremely competitive but I worked my b__t off. I got accepted and will pay the tuition from my volunteering/ freelancing and my parents will pay the rest....

Her cousin was accepted but couldn’t attend due to financial issues.

But the problem was, this was the exact same school my cousin (also 16F) had applied to. She lives in the same country as that school. Although she got accepted,...

Here's why I may be the a__hole: I knew she was applying and my mom told me she had to drop due to financial issues, although I didn't talk to...

Her family and cousin criticized her, urging her to decline the offer.

Now everyone, literally everyone is calling me a not compassionate unsympathetic person. Including my parents and her mother. She herself blew up my phone saying how I was an cold...

They want me not to accept the school's offer letter so as to not "encourage unhealthy sibling rivalry" or cause her mental stress and inferiority complex.. I don't want to...

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Edit: Thank you so much for the awards and comments. Your input means a lot!

Is it wrong to pursue your dream school when your cousin can’t afford it?

The core issue is personal agency in education and unfair family pressure. The girl worked hard, earning money through volunteering and freelancing to attend a prestigious school. Her cousin’s inability to attend due to financial constraints is unfortunate but not her fault. Demanding she decline the opportunity to spare her cousin’s feelings is unreasonable and prioritizes one person’s emotions over another’s achievements.

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Dr. Carol Dweck, a motivation psychologist, emphasizes, “Success based on personal effort should be celebrated, not stifled by jealousy” (Mindset, 2006). The family’s pressure, including labeling her “cold-hearted,” reflects jealousy and lack of support, potentially harming her if she yields. Her cousin’s reaction and the family’s demands are unfair and could undermine her confidence.

She should accept the school’s offer and stand by her achievements. She needs to have an honest conversation with her parents, explaining that this opportunity reflects her hard work and isn’t about her cousin. If the pressure persists, she should seek support from a school counselor or trusted relative to reinforce her decision. Long-term, she should set clear boundaries with her family to protect her goals.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

The online community strongly supported her, asserting she shouldn’t sacrifice her education and criticizing her family’s unfair pressure.

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Users emphasized her right to pursue her earned opportunity.

riritreetop − It’s unhealthy sibling rivalry for her to be mad at you for your success and your family’s ability to pay for the school. She needs to get over...

Geek_is_my_chic − Nta, DONT GIVE UP YOUR EDUCATION OVER JEALOUSY, cant she get loans? Aid? College is expensive you cant hold yourself back due to others un affordability and jealousy,...

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Whats next you cant have a kid because she doesn’t have a husband? You cant do what you want because she cant do what you wanna do?

Luna-Strange − So you should put your life on hold or on a different path because of someone else’s feelings when your not even close? Throw away what you worked...

Commenters condemned the family’s unfair demands and support for the cousin’s jealousy.

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HKFukIt − NTA you earned this too, you have every right to go. Tell her to get a job or find a way to earn the tuition. It sucks but...

[Reddit User] − What is wrong with your family holy crap. NTA at all. Like you said you worked your b__t off to get to that school and have the...

Just because you succeeded and she didnt doesn't mean she gets to drag you down with her. There is no possible way for you to be an a__hole here.

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Amara_Undone − NTA. Don't compromise on your education just to spare someone's feelings. Your cousin set herself up for disappointment by applying for a school she knew they couldn't afford...

Users urged her to accept the offer and set boundaries with her family.

MySonPorygon137 − NTA because you earned the opportunity fairly. While it does suck for her, it's not as if you did something to sabotage her chances.

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It was clearly stated the reason why she can't participate and it has nothing to do with you. Her family's shortcoming is not your fault and you need to tell...

shettyyyyy − Make sure your parents don't reject the offer on your behalf. NTA and good luck, you deserved the spot :))

Kettlewise − You can’t steal a dream. She can’t go because her parents can’t afford it; it has absolutely nothing to do with you. Your family is doing her no...

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bamf1701 − NTA. You should not have to give up your dreams because of your cousin’s unfortunate circumstances. It would be different if you had bragged about it, but, from...

The online community agreed that she’s not wrong for pursuing her hard-earned educational opportunity. They criticized her family and cousin for jealousy and unfair pressure, urging her to accept the offer and protect her future.

Personal success based on effort shouldn’t be stifled by family jealousy. Everyone deserves to pursue their opportunities, especially when they don’t harm others. Families should support individual achievements rather than demand sacrifices for others’ feelings.

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What do you think about a family demanding you give up an educational opportunity to spare someone’s feelings? How would you handle pressure from relatives when pursuing your goals? Share your thoughts!

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